Here it comes
And there it goes
The moments gone
Before you'd like to admit
You thought too much
But not enough
You talked too much
Gotta shut your mouth
Some things are best
Left unsaid
Just leave it alone, babe
Please leave me alone

It is midnight
And I sit alone
Not another soul in sight
Contemplating complicating
Things don't need to be this way
Mulling over, tossing over
Things that should really be
What I really want
Is for you to come to me
As you are, just like that
I don't need eyes, don't need to see
Just need to feel you
And your lovely vibration
Touch my hand
Sit, don't stand
As I land
In the place I love the most

She doesn't know
She doesn't know
That I'll go
Gladly go
With a straight face
I've picked up my pace
Trees pass by
Sidewalk cracks
Is it wrong
To move on?
Let go
You have to
Or be dragged
You will
Until your skin
Is scratched to bone
Until your face
Is unrecognizable
She doesn't know
She doesn't want to know
That I'll go

In and out
Oxygen/c02
Up and down
My beaten chest
Through and through
Heart still beats

Triumphant or defeated
Eyes still weep
In thoughts and dreams
Still unsure of the difference
In rain or in Sunshine
Head always held high

In talks or in whines
Points still foggy
Pulling up/down blinds
Body always groggy
In and out
And up and in
You can't ever always win

I like to liken
What we could be in time to
Earth, wind, water and luck

Things never seem right
When I dream
And when I awake to the same sane me
I'm not so sure you can see what I mean
But what I want is to dream, dream, dream

Forever gripping the rails of sleep
Because inside of it I can do as I please
Lurid visions, fascination
A welcome break from monotony
Everyday seems so dull
Compared to when I'm in my bed
When I awake I am struck with wonder
How could my brain take me so far under?

The things I see
The things I hear
Some weird combination
Of hope and fear
If sleep has taught me anything
It's that anything can be anything
And everything isn't what it seems
Turn it around and upside down
Then look it through a telescope
A microcosm of possibility
Shame and humility
Oh, the things, the things I've seen
In my sleep

Now don't get me wrong
I believe in vanity
And you're vain as fuck

"We'll meet again. In another time. Another place."

Her hair blew gently as the wind picked up just slightly. The setting Sun peaked out shyly through each and every strand of hair. She tilted her head to the ground. An inkling of a smile turned up on the right dude of her lips. A sort of butchering of Mona Lisa's own. It was an even sadder version of that look. One that told me "I don't know exactly why, but we have to be apart."

God damns you in the sweetest way
With those six inch heels
You're on so much fire
The smoke drifts through the steering wheel
Lit up like the strip
Where we go on nightly field trips
You know what's good for you but you don't care
You're a fucking wild one and I know it
You know how to get things done
And you keep the place jumped up and lit up
With those green, green eyes you light it up

You clearly got no worries
Nothing really gets to you
It's the way you grew up
If you had let it get to you
You would never have made it through

So I condone such mischief
Keep doing you like you do it
I ain't got no complaints
Just make sure you stand before you sit
Taking things too fast is never a good thing
All you know is fast life
Never back down from no fight now
You're just the realest
They're just the weakest
It's the way it goes
Nobody really knows
Where you came from
No, they never even ask
Where you come from

Here I go again
Oh here I, here I come again
I've got no right to say the words I want to
But they're the words I need to
So here I go again
Again and again

You once meant the Earth and the Stars
To me, in my head
You were the beautiful white light
At the end if the tunnel
You were my strength and might
Until you pummeled
My beating red heart to bits
Now it's scattered all over the floor
Like so many pieces of a tainted puzzle
And I'm left here wanting more
But you have disarmed me, fastened a muzzle
And I can speak nothing but nonsense
Nonsensical musings upon a schizophrenic backdrop

I feel like world has turned on her head
And my stomach feels sick
Like some hellish, black pit
And now I feel like a dick
I don't know why but it's the way it is
The way it has to be?
Well, I'll never know
For sure, it's the way I see
Things when they're altered inside my own mind
Someone needs to tell me to just calm down
But when I have enough time to think things through
I just want, I mean need, my wishes to come true
Oh, please just let my imagination break through

Back in the day
When the rain hit the roof
Pitter-patter didn't seem like much
But along with it came the truth
That nowadays things ain't so right
Nowadays, everything is a might

When you used to tell me
That I was the only one
Your sole source of confidence
All we had was lighthearted fun
But now, now it seems like a joke
A sick and twisted turn of fate
For the worst or the best I don't even know
But all I have now us this disgustingly clean slate
Hanging on a hook like writhing, live bait

So I start my shift  
At 10 AM
Hours upon hours
Of nonstop movement
And running down to the basement
Bringing up boxes
Of candy
And cups
And popcorn bags

Constant flows
Of people
Customers
"guests"
So we have to call them
"You don't call over the next CUSTOMER
To your register
You call over the next GUEST."
So says my manager
OK, bitch
"Next guest, please,"
I utter with a smile

Can't wait to leave
It's around 5:30 PM now
A solid
7 1/2 hours
Through
My 8 hour
Shift
I'm helping my manager
Satisfy guests
Not customers
Filling bags
When they say popcorn
And filling cups
When they say soda
"I'll just have some nachos,"
A man says
His wife stands next to him
She smiles at me
I smile back
He looks at me then
"And John, too,"
He says
"John looks like a nice kid."
I can't help but beam
Some type of dumb grin
I look down at my nametag
Adjust it a bit
The next guest steps up
And then I remember
How much
I just want to leave already

I'm the thick of the night
When you can barely see
And the darkness
Encloses me
When you most afraid
And things seem too tight
I am there
In the thick of the night
So wrap your arms
All around me
And forget what
You're trying to be
Just remember
I'll always be
Right there
Up in a tree
In a corner
Of your mind

I'm the thick of the night
When you can barely see
And the darkness
Encloses me
When you most afraid
And things seem too tight
I am there
In the thick of the night
So wrap your arms
All around me
And forget what
You're trying to be
Just remember
I'll always be
Right there
Up in a tree
In a corner
Of your mind

Now, I don't know about you
But I know why they play love songs on the radio
Now, I don't know if it's true
But when you're riding down the highway
With the windows down
The air hits your face like water
Waking you up

19
Rum
Slurpees
Good music
Stunted moral judgment
Good friends, good times, good fun

Because there's no chance in Hell
Fires burning for a hundred nights and a day
No future as far as I can tell
Inside my warm bed where I lay
So just leave me alone
Yeah just walk on your own

Things broke in the morning
When everything was cool
I thought I was yearning
But your touch just makes me shudder
I had to leave the spot
And just let it die where it was
Because when things get too hot
I'm not one to stick around
No, I'm gone without a sound

I'm only 21
And I'm already due
To go
In another 50
Or so

We're not designed to last long
So it's very easy to become overwhelmed
If you look at the timeline
For everything
Living, dead, or inanimate
The length of existence they hold
Is so pitifully short
It makes you sick

It's like
A joke or something
We spend out lives
Preoccupied
Stressed
And
Filled with doubt
And by the time out end is near
We finally want to realize
That the life we've lived
Was not a life at all
More like
A compilation
Of horrible jokes
Fun that lasted mere seconds to minutes
Emotions that mostly
Meant nothing
When it comes to the final
Scheme

I'm not inherently pessimistic
In fact
I've been much more optimistic
Lately than ever
But still
These things surface
When I have a few milliseconds
To philosophize
With myself

Maybe I'm playing the wrong game
With the wrong attitude
Things just ain't the same
Throwing curveballs to the dirt
Feeling, soaking in the hurt

You spit in your palm
And look deep in my eyes
Put your hand behind your back
And keep spoon feeding me lies
Well it couldn't hurt to try

Please just hold tight
While I cock back to swing
Pulling for the fences
While mending my wings
To fly through these clouded, muddy things

Knowing my sordid past
When it comes to this game
Making us last
Won't come without pain
And it's a damn shame

I write these things
To make myself feel better
And most of the time
I fool myself well

But sometimes it doesn't work

I sat there beneath the big Maple tree in the center of Sunkenwater Park. I leaned back onto my hands, peering over the compendium of countless smaller trees that littered the grounds like so many cigarette butts and beer cans. The Sun hung high, looking down at me with a smile you could only see if you were staring directly at it, which I did for a moment until my vision became bleached with Godlike light. I sighed, scanned the grounds again and then slowly descended onto my back. I stared straight up into the spider leg set up of branches above me, hanging there indifferently and silently. I sighed again without even noticing, this time completely unintentionally.

And that's when her head found it's way into my kind of sight. She was standing over me, looking down, eye squinted like she was examining some microscopic and otherworldly specimen.
"Hey," slipped from her pretty pinkish lips.
"Hi," I replied, staring right back.
She smiled slightly and sat down next to me, descending slowly and gracefully into her back just like me, right next to me.
"What's up?" I turned so I was facing her ear as she refused to face me yet.
"Nothing, just thinking."
"Oh. About what?" I narrowed my brow inquisitively.
"Us. Me and you. And why."
I cocked my head slightly. "Why what?"
"Why you love me so much."
I pursed my lips. Turned my head back so I was staring at the spidery branches and breathed slowly out if my nose. Then I pointed up, aiming my finger at the the beams of cut up Sunlight that was finding its way through the branches above our heads and onto us, the source if all life.
"Because you remind me of the Sun."
"The Sun, huh?"
"You give me what I need. You give me my reasons. You give me movement. Physically and emotionally. And you do always fund a way. A way through. A way out. You're a resilient person. And you do it without even trying. I love you because you are who you are. And who you are is pretty damn ridiculous in the sense that I've never net a soul quite like you. For lack of a less cliche term; you are my light. And I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."
She kept her gaze upward for a long time. I did the same. Soaking up the Sun's rays with a dumb grin like I knew it was the last time is be able to take part in such a miracle. It didnt matter in that moment that she didnt love me. All that mattered was that I loved her. And would continue to do so, unapologetically, until her rays of light stopped finding their way into my heart, which had been growing increasingly dimmer and dimmer until I met her. I was thankful and I felt dumb but I was too proud to care.
She turned to me, but I didn't turn back. She lifted her hand up off of the grass and found mine, interlocking her fingers and turning again to face the sky.