I followed you down the snowy sidewalks
Of these winding streets
and unknowingly you led me here,
to the crossroads of your heart
and I looked around
to see you'd disappeared
Without a trace
You' left me here
lost in the arcs of your body,
the cold of your dark eyes enough
to freeze my heart in time.
The mysteries of your mind
throbbing within my arteries
Firing up my life blood,
Keeping me alive, love
In this frozen eternity.
After days of waiting near the remains
after days of clinging on to hope,
You start your walk alone, towards the great unknown
You alone walk this terrain
You walk through slowly, tirelessly
Where there is no end in sight,
But you know that a certain light will ignite the fire inside you
It will keep you warm,
You don't know it yet, but that is your mission
That something that was extinguished when the whirlwind of disaster struck
The spark that was dimmed,
You will soon find it,
Use it to rev up the engine of your heart,
And ride among the clouds again.
It never did.
The minutes turn into hours,
Hours in weeks, Weeks into months,
But I still don't understand.
A wise woman says,
"Let go of wanting to know
There are things in life that have no answers."
But still I cannot be at peace.
And maybe I was naive to think
That deep down there was something
Something unmovable, something unbreakable
But instead, I found feathered flight and brittle bones.
A rainbow erupts in your little heart
I was hangin' out with blue
You were a little chummy with sunny orange
Too bad red don't want to be friends with us no more
A spectrum erupts in your little heart
Did I miss out on a chance at the real thing
Because I was distracted by the fog?
The fog's turned to smog,
And in this smog it's the clearest its ever been all along
But just a glimpse of hope is all I ever needed
To realize that everything is just a dream
That here and now, and this and that
All the specifics have turned
Upside down and inside out and
Become permanent spots in our vision.
You peered into the camera once,
And you cried
And I held you
I should have realized then
That all the love in the world
Would not make the damnest difference
I cringe every time I hear this word
It reminds me of how you could never let go of the past
Clinging on to anything else
Than the most important thing to me-
the moment we were living in
I was building memories then
The ones that play over and over in my head now
And you were trying to forget then
I think you must be an expert in forgetting now
I wonder if you think of us, nostalgia and all
And it makes me cringe, all over again
I made you laugh,
I made you cry tears of happiness,
I loved every part of your body,
And though I doubted,
I always came back.
I fed you, cooked for you everyday
I touched you tenderly when you needed it
I kissed every part of your body
I inspired you to achieve your best
I walked with you
Took care of you when you were sick
I held you when you were scared
I reassured you of your goodness
I loved you, completely, unabashedly
And did everything I could to show you just how much you meant to me
I have no illusions about this thing
Sometime people regret having not done enough,
Or having done too much
But I know I only did what my heart told me to do
And I found that I have the capacity to love
For that I have to thank you
Its sad that your own heart cannot let you see how much of myself I have given to you
But I am grateful that you handed it back to me
That one day someone else might hold my heart in the right place.
From the sky it came crashing down, one sunny morning.
Only in retrospect you think,
How did you ride those clouds all this while?
Smooth sailing, or light turbulence,
You floated along unawareness
You were invincible,
But that sinking feeling
In the bottomless pit of your stomach
Only got deeper and deeper.
Until that fateful day
When all the emergency lights went on
and the gas mask drops down to your lap.
The seat beside you is empty now,
Looks like someone got to it first
Looks like he knew it was coming,
And he saved himself first.
A certain risk is always taken, unknowingly
Didn't you, in essence, place all your bets in one go?
He loved you deeply
But he also hurt you deeply
That while you hurt
He hurts too
That you must fight your own battle
Not yours and his
That he began this descent
Pulling you in
This is not your fault, nor his
That there is no option
And that he cannot love you anymore
That that is the hardest thing to accept
And please keep your head up,
Because you are still lovable