I haven't been asleep in two God damned days
In every dream I have
I die in too many God damned ways
And it never is enough to stay in one place
So I get out to kick the ground at least once a day

Nothings come to me in the night
At least nothing I care to explain
With everyone I've loved, I still fight
I can't help but bring the rain
Told time to stop cause it's only bringing pain

And, now I'm caught
Up, in this society
Of, people looking out for me
Still, I can't seem to break away
Leaving some dust clouds in my place

The ground is moving, must still be in this race
I wanna call it off,
I'll throw the white flag just to slow the pace
And empty a glass at the end of the day
Cross my fingers to pass out in the bay

Gods got a grave already dug for me
So let me live large
To fill all that negative space
I'd rather be in charge
Just too call off the rest of the day

I'm drowning
I'm scared
I'm desperate
Need air
Getting dizzy
Getting numb
Loosing sight
Crying for no one
Clenching teeth
Broken lips
Eyes of panic
Shaking out of control
Going crazy
Losing my grip
Taste the frozen
Take it slow

Sometimes it's better when things don't make sense
Sometimes there's brilliance in broken parts
Sometimes it's better then you thought it ever could be again

And when the times turn to sometimes
And when that smile appears

You know

Sometimes happiness can find its own way home.

Some things time will heal
A slow but needed process
Until then I'm scared

I had something special
Once upon a time
I held her dear
Once upon a time
I made us one
Once upon a time
And then the fight begun

Rough roads
Rocky tumbles
The split began with a tare
and one by one
The inches divided
Inches, to miles, to years

Now we pretend to be tender
We treat each other with care
But in the back of my mind
The sirens still blare
They scream away the warnings
I should have heeded long ago
No, I know more
Now then before
And I use my knowledge so clear

You're all filled up with God knows what
You wanna dump it out, just to pick it back up
A pack rat of emotion
A dealer of brokens
Be it hearts
Be it promises
Be it balls
You don't care
As long as you get to be heard

All to make it one way
So you can yearn for the alternative
Promising to make it come
But you know it's not true
Change the world
The one in your head
And demand the rest to do the same
When reality strikes
And you don't know your rights
Complain
Complain
Complain

A fictional vision
Of the world you live in
What you thought it would be
Disillusionment sucks big.

You're a dark cloud on the horizon
The rain drops on my head
You brighten my day in the darkest way
But the sun will come again

You left before things beginning
And now your gone again

You can say what you'd like
But we both know where it stands
You told me what you wanted
I gave you what I had

Can you tell me with honesty
You lost your faith in man

I don't know why you're doing this
I guess its just got to be done
Now it's time to hit the road
Now that you've had your fun

It was a day like any other
But that quickly changed
You brighten my day in the darkest way
I guess it's all the same

Another day is on the way
The light will come again

If you wanna lose weight, go ahead
You can eat your problems
If you wanna tempt fate, go ahead
You can eat your lies
As bitter as they are
As poison as they come
Whatever it takes to survive.

Tell me what you see
When the lights are out
And it was only you and me
Tell me what did you see
When you looked into my eyes

Keeping above water
But I don't know how to float
Now my worlds flooding
And I don't have a boat

Tell me the truth like you used to
Tell me what's changed since I last knew you
Whats happened to my memories?
They're not mine
I must be someone else
I don't recognize that man
When I face my reflected self

Keep me above water
If you got an extra hand
My worlds freezing
And I don't have a coat

What's happened to my life
It's caught up in these lies
Believe what you want to
What am I gonna say?
We can still have our own lives
Intersecting everyday

Keeping above water
Is the only way around
My worlds growing darker
I'll just take my time to drown

So... I guess I'll just walk away
We obviously aren't going to see eye to eye
So...I guess I'll just smile and say
"Well, fuck me then."
Nods all around and that just goes to show
I guess I really don't know
So...Fuck you then?
I think you're ideas are silly
And I could have done everything you've every done much better
I laugh when I think about the time I waisted for you
So...Fuck who then?
It's my fault but I have to make a living
Even though I'll be written off right away
I'll go and try anyway to make something of my day
I think I always knew I wasn't cut out for this
So...Fuck this then
It's just too easy to get into a groove
Just scraping by, and by the time it's over I'm way too tired
And that's why we'll rarely progress to anything better
So... Fuck us then
I don't think you respect yourself
I don't respect myself
I don't respect anything much
Respect is for the sunrising and setting and that's it
So...For God sake

She thought she thinks she knew me
what a joke.
I guess that's
the worst of the worst
of the best.
That's the Best part.
Because it's a game really
always has been, make no mistake.

I know you want to,
but what you got to understand
is I was never like you.
Not in that way. Not the way
You thought, wished
and wanted to believe.

I was I were I am
I felt bad, or so I made you think
For what?
Well God I don't know.
It will be you who feels it too
when we get to the end of the show.

To be honest,
I kind of like this.
Sitting on the bus trying to get home.

The drama burns
like a shot of alcohol,
but just sit back
wait for the soothing
And blurring of the
walls in the halls where you're bound to pass out for now.
If you can't keep up
then keep your eyes closed.
It will all be over soon enough
or so you tell yourself.

In reality we both know how it'll go
Now listen up at the start
or you'll never hear
the part everyone needs
to perceive the theme in full

You say you don't care
I've heard that line before
Knowledge is your stain
a lie to the truth is a lie all the same
So why don't you cave?
Do you got something to prove?
And why do you cry
when you sit alone
with no one to talk to?
Haven't you heard, silence is golden?

The pawn shop doesn't take metaphors
So tonight we both walk home on an empty belly
And an empty bottle
Let me tell you,

I've met so many people
just like us.
Star crossed and lost
that's where you get
when you try to use astronomy to navigate

You circumvent to lose the fact
you can't tell east
from west
from north
from hell

So sit quiet and keep your mouth still
If you can't comply I think we got a pill

So can you blame me?
I'm weak, I'm lost
I know these things

But you never will find me staring so blankly
Into red and blue lines all telling me where to go and where to be
I've burnt down every house that has offered me warmth
I have burnt up everyone who has ever offered me love

And now, here I am
Less then I was before
Drawing circles in the dirt
Dripping with worry
Dying to say one last thing to you

I know it will never be said
I know it will never be heard
But the trials of a man, of a child
Must continue on

I am sorry
I am scared
I have tried so hard
I tried, and I lost

Sick and brutal juvenile contempt
I love you
But that's nothing
I know

Nothing but a matter of life and death

So to anyone out there that still gives a damn
Goodbye
And to you
The only one
For finding what little there was left and draining it

Thank you.

Stay Human.

Shamelessly self-promoting
Only makes me
That much more
To all the people
I don't know

Dilutions of grandeur
Help me out
When they don't
Illusions of my life
Just might

Senseless self-entrapment
Entitles me
To one call
On the phone
To hear a voice
That's not my own

Translating life threw an empty wine bottle
Putting it all into words that collide and fall out
And spill all over the page

Ground-out cigarette buts and a newly lite one
The 'click click' of the type writer
It's sounding more like a loaded gun
Only one more 'Bing' until the triggers set off

Because I can't keep up this craft much longer
A useless pilot, slept threw class
But passed with honors
I'll be crashing now, ditching out
I suggest you all follow

I hear them yell 'no!'
I know this waters cold
Can't find the plug
To break this frigged flow

Better off tomorrow when the sun shines
To dive down deep and gather dimes
Slip them in the slot to give us more time
Until the clock runs out
The curtains draw on top of my eye lids

Shut, you're drowning out the violence
From the stick up kids, who used to play the violins
Traded in for a proscription
Make me normal Saint MD

Or atleast give me something I could use
To make a little cash on those streets
The ones I kick it on at night
But I think I hit it to hard
I think I blew out the light

I would take
From you
All I could
Carry out the door

If what you had
Was worth carrying
Down three floors

Stayed up all night by candle light
Watching
To make sure it doesn't burn down the house.

I'm sleepy
But not sleeping
Faithless
But not cheating
Wandering
But not lost
Paying
But not the cost
Happy
But not glad
Crying
But not sad
Distant
But not far
Dishonest
But not a liar
Wishing
But not hopeful
Praying
But not soulful
Raging
But not mad
Evil
But not bad
With you
But still so alone
In my room
But so far from home

I'm a paradox
Wrapped in straight talk

You're peering through your teeth at me
I can feel your hostility
And it makes me want to wait and see
Just what this has got to mean
Because I know just how sharp your tongue can be
But you're so busy glaring don't know if you can speak
And I'll walk by a time or three
Give plenty a-opportunity
To make me wanna slink away and drink
Until you go away or sink
Under my inebriation
And I'm loosing patience
Oh it makes me wanna
Just makes me wanna
Catch a glance out of the corner of my eye
Blurred and slurred, tonight we're not shy
March right up, the stumbling guy
Who says what's what and tells no lie
Thou in the morning he'll puke and cry
Not to recall a single line
Of the enlightenment turned apology
Awkwardly suggesting to the possibly offended
A bridge carelessly burnt, now work to be mended
But no matter the time spent or handy-work used
It will always hold a tired look, abused
If not one thing the another
If not speaking clearly then a stutter
And shaking with little tremmers
Caused by lifes over anxious cues
To speak up a little louder, perhaps with out the booze
But we all know that can't be
So I sit in a corner
In my hostility I stew
Peering through my teeth at you

Shooting for that line
Between skin and bone
That'll get the gears turning like new

But the fuels running shy
Before the finish line
I swore we had enough at high noon

Now the suns going down
The shops are closed
I hope we find our way back soon

But what we don't know just might kill us
We've been stopped by the Devils smooth moves

Some eyes are sharp
Some heads are dropping back
And I'm caught in between the two

With the rig pulling out
I start my count
And keep walkin cause there's nothing left to do

The feelings mystic
But I think I'm getting sick
The grounds spinning round my boots

So hold me down while I'm taking off
Lend a friend a helping hand
Keep me up over the next few bumps
Feels like I'm walking in sand

If you swallow that, friend
It just might kill ya
Don't go mixing up the reds and the blues

The time will come
When the land will rise
And the sky will fall down to your shoes

If I'm here that day when the fighting ends
I still think peace will hard to find

Cause they don't know what they're fighting for
So the real wars all in the mind