I once asked a composer,

"Where do you draw from?"
as the tidal waves of his rhythms
and his melodies crashed over my head.

Where do you draw from,
that something so strong
can come from your fingertips.
Something that speaks of a beyond,
profound as the rising sun, yet
silent as black notes on paper,
that gyrate like snowflakes
in the middle of July.

The first time I met you
I melted, just like the
snowman under those fireworks
with all those notes swirling.

I never thought I'd find you
yet there you were, waiting,
while a child ran through the house
with chopsticks, pretending
everything in sight was a drum.

Waiting
for that split decision
that I know had I not chosen
this path
I would be as lost
as a whisper
in a thunderstorm.

When we met
I was young,
Wide-eyed
with a crinkled brow.
I didn't know, quite yet,
what to make of you.

Now all I make is you
when I breathe the
cold winter's air
and release the mist
I swear, it was your face
that broke its way through
to cupped hands, wet
from the rain
that is your
ethereal blue eyes.

By God,
blue eyes!
no wonder
every single time
your lips part or
our gazes meet that
it's just like the first time
I let an ocean wave
roll me.

You sweep me off my feet
with every sigh,
each intricate rhythm
that is your heart beat
and I know
that even though
your glow
is faint
it still helps me
see when it's dark.

And even though
the day would come
where I wouldn't always
be able to hold you
as closely at
any given time
without a pain
that would some days
render me useless,

It taught me
not all this in this world
is free but I will relish
every last phrase
and modulation
until the day comes
when the harmony to you
that is my own pulse
no longer plays.

Oh, dare I savor
every last, sweet kiss
as if to keep
every inch of you
on the tip of my tongue.

Everything within you,
within us
it's a symphony
begging to be written.
It's as calm,
and peaceful,
as pushing the pen along the paper
within old, wrinkled hands
that are so old there's nothing
left to do but
Write
me the sweetest song
but using my own hands
over hard birch and yarn
as my fingers callus
from holding all that is

Your heart
is a melody
I may
never quite fully
understand
every chord,
every accidental,
but I will read
through you
every single night
hoping I can savor
every
last
note.

There are days I want to run
screaming into the night,
but then I remember
what's down the road for me,
and I can't seem
to go anywhere but

forward.

I am
depleted
I am
careworn..

these hands,
swollen, and calloused..


but I am so in love,
tightness in my chest
that flows through me
like a deep mahogany
rich in caramel melody.

I never thought
I'd
fall this
in

love you like the yarn
loves the rosewood
in warm tones that
resonate like the
arches in Rome.

I want to sink into your arms
like a sweet melody
and it's a giant fluffy blanket
while my eyelids lower to let dreams
fill with the harmony.

Brown eyes
murky, stained-glass windows
to the worn-leather sole

Heavy eyes
because the red inside is so dense
that these weathered veins trudge
on broken soles down twisting,
writhing, ashen roads.

They long to run, to move timelessly again,
to feel the blazing, green adrenaline pulsing
in all directions.
Run, to where the earth stretches itself out,
to where the sky and land meet in the most tender
kiss of light, of fate, and the burn, the bright crimson
burn that's lived in these fibers since the dawn.

Trust, my child, and your stumbling, running legs
will no longer feel that burn that will remit to
floating over stars that burned away
thousands of years ago, yet their light
still finds its way to us, so small and insignificant.

I want to write
I need to write
I have to write

I am beating the stone walls inside this head
but to no avail,
for stone does not crumble the way bone does.

I am no inspiration,
no speck of light,
no bright gleaming afflatus at the end of this tunnel,
no...

Hours ago, mere minutes,
such raging vortexes, so violent
that darkness steered clear
for fear of becoming nothing,
yet not even a glimmer could surpass..


Shadows, there are nothing but
shadows, here that sway and move
and play the corners of ramparts that
keep fumbling hands and clumsy feet
stuck in that awkward inbetween
of not quite enough to be twilight
yet not profound enough to be
dark, like the murky waters
that rage and thrash within this
chest that's breaking,
each heavy sob and wheeze,
as arms lay open among cold, dark tides;

They swell and shine and dance
yet more and more, do they bear resemblance
to the giant, dark mouth that ate these words
with fangs that penetrate through every layer
pushing, digging deeper and deeper
into every trudging, dense, vein, crying red.

I am crying out into the long, dark tunnel
stretching in front of me, swallowing every echo,
spitting back glimmers of hope that fall
between the cracks of these broken concrete
ideals that crumble with time
until these stone walls finally deteriorate
into the most brilliant light amidst the darkest storm.

I am the trust within you
beaming down on you
with weakened reddened hands to carry you,
weakened from all the grief in the dust from your bones
as you leave them behind
for tears and the past to sweep away
into the dustbin that is your weary head.

Sink in my arms once more, love,
clasp the warm hand to reach
through the cold water that is the storm
within your very heart;

Take it, kiss it, cherish it,
for even in the darkest, most violent storms
there is beauty to behold.

For once


scars.. so seemingly fresh..


                              tarrying cicatrices


    evanesce, as if such crimson
                                              
                                              had never been maimed..


                  for once,



                                cosmos after brilliant cosmos


               fall in line


        
                        as if one simple sentence



mere syntax


            could set such celestials right







falling


                              falling





              falling




into a darkness
so warm, so sweet,

until an embrace
shall take me in



     your arms






                        no other place


no other haven
    

         could ever suffice

i want
no more

your silver
stillicide is just;

tapping
in the midnight

cools of
dawn are just;

Glory,
in Just;

all I am,
in delicate,

no i won't, she said,
I won't..

serene, quiet
tears, can't

breathe;


no more

its just;

the colder the colds
the more it falls
the more they fall

argen
          t
        
           droplets.

and its all just;

empty sheets

and blue precipices
on violet efflux

you're just

silver specks
on sapphired breath

A matter [just] of stepping forward[one]

[more]


Or fall
            on bro
                        ken t r
                                   o
                                     t h.

Tell me you're of no beauty
I'll say otherwise

Such celest
so serene,
innocent
in Glory, could not disguise;

In delicate hands
all I am
in gentle crimson caressed,

Sweet embrace
and cerulean scents
In grace, kept I dressed.

Behind gentle lids
among which mine door'lifs flutter
doth deep beauty soar,

Cascading among shuddered
celests
Beyond dashed darks
as though none'd passed,
Until to rest
in my arms once more

Rain drops trickled
like passive typewriter keys
while we waited patiently,
In silence
on a cold spring afternoon.

Steps carried across pavement
as droplets quickened their pace,
dancing about the pane
as if among white keys;
All the while, gazing upon glass
where just on the other side
Such a peace, had come to pass.

I reached for you in darkness,
yet coldness returned the grasp.
You are gone, but only so;
such vox, that can still clasp
All held with thee,
have it all already past.

In silence we waited,
as hurried steps returned.
Lest the rain shall mix with salt;
remembrance must,
that none were at fault.

A door closed;
clashes of rain and glass returned,
as forward distance was taken,
and no one said a word.

Why

                        does it have to hurt

               this much?




I love him

                                               I miss her...
    


I always loved him


                          
                                               I can't keep her from my thoughts




Distance


               Heartache


Abandonment


                         Cold


          Bleeding...      
      





                             Over and over

    do old scars tear
                                 into new wounds



Where does itstop?

                    When does itend?



      
               Where's the light

  at the end
                      of my tunnel?





The only ones I've known

                                         have been oncoming trains.

Truth is




I've made my choice.


                        

                                                           Now it's just a matter




           Of whether we reside
                                                 on similar ideas





                              And where it all
                              

                              shall
                                          go  
                                                  from
                                                             here. . .




I just hope I'm right..


  

                    But the question is...




      Can one ever truly be?

Hmm


                                                            ­An angel whispers..

                                            
                                                 Take the high road.

  


Whereas the devil snickers


           Where's the fun in that?




      Interesting how I
      vowed to take the higher
       road...
                  W
                        e
                              i
                                   g
                                       h
                                            i
                                                 n
                                                      g
                                                        
                                                            m­
                                                             ­    y
                                                             ­     
                                                             ­         o
                                                             ­            p
                                                             ­                t
                                                             ­                   i
                                                             ­                      o
                                                             ­                          n
                                                             ­                             s
                                                             ­                                 ...Yet I've managed
                                                             ­                                  to get lost somehow
                                                             ­                                  spending the weekend




He kissed me

                                                             ­        He taught me just how powerful
                                                             ­        attraction can be

He showed chivalry          

                                                             ­       He sat so close

He laid the rhythms
                
                                                             ­       He was easier to follow




                              Where
                                
                                      to
                                    
                              go
                            
                                      from
                              
                               here?






From one
            Instant attraction,
         Desire,
             Flirtation
          Temptation
                            S
                                  o
                                         ,
                                             w
                                                  h
                                                       e
                                                            r­
                                                             ­    e

                                                             ­               t
                                                             ­                    o
                                                             ­                         
                                                             ­                             t
                                                             ­                                   u
                                                             ­                                         r
                                                             ­                                              n
                                                             ­                                                   ?

                                                             ­                                                From the other,
                                                             ­                                                Friendship.
                                                             ­                                                 Ease.
                                                             ­                                                  Simplicity.
                                                             ­                                                Honesty.  





Toward the obvious, enticingly dark path

or

Toward the broken, simple, light path?

I miss you

                       more than words, prose
                       verse or lyric can ever
                       bother to stammer

More

                       and more doth the void
                       in my heart strengthen;
                       stronger

Than

                      even the mightiest of
                      men, or warriors alike


Words

                      alone can try to shape
                      the pain, the shock
                      of losing someone like you
                      this

Can                

                      only serve to strengthen,
                      love and tolerance alike...
                      yet all this.. even written
                      word cannot

Convey

                     any slight guilt, for I
                     know you knew, but I
                     never said enough
                     that
                            I love you

Night falls

        

             Sinking between sweet, soft blue fibers,


I await sleep's gentle embrace



                But the quiet darkness

  
  Holds all but serenity

                                        

                            A black vortex

      
       Taking all within


all that remains

                      

                   leaving empty eyes


starting into the open



Wide,


           Wide,



awake

Unsheathed rather oft,
Rusted be my blade by many a bloodshed
Let it be said that failed a warrior I have not
For in battle lies the most crucial of my performances

A warrior hath christened me
With a name of Hrunting
For it is my own body
That I do thrust into the hearts and veins
Of warriors soon to be vanquished.

Many a battlefield hath these iron eyes seen
And many a hand hath held a strong hilt
To let countless souls kiss each blade edge

Pride I do not take in such realities,
For it is my and only my wish
That serve I only as self-deterrent,
Not so purely an instrument of quietus

With great time and care was I created
A signature left in scroll
And many years hath I served
Till now, my time is spent
In hand of Unferth

Let word be spoken
That failed him I had
Yet all that occurred
Was the following of his swing
Be it toward body or breeze

Failed him I had not
For his aim,
Or lack thereof,
Had been his true defeat

And now, rumor speaks
That handed off I am to be
To a great warrior in pursuit of a beast
And he, like me
Hath seen many a battle
And never failed to vanquish a foe
And from his fists did much armor rattle
For great strength of this warrior’s
Offer no such parallel
To any meek sheet of iron

It is the greatest irony
That I should kill so many
Dressed in armor,
When I should break as well
For it is my own foundation
That I destroy with each strike

Though many a season
And many a strike
Hath been shared with Unferth,
Grateful and curious shall I be
In my passing to this next warrior

A great beast he seeks
And liveth under watery surface doth she
Rumor also spake
That immune to weapon is she

It is in this respect
That even as a sword
I must pray
This fight shall not go awry
For how can one,
Impenetrable by battle iron
Be defeated, with the use
Of one like me?

Yearn do I to see
How this all shall unfold…

Behold,
The day of reckoning hath arrived
And pass do I into the hands
Of this lucid warrior,
Beowulf

Closer, closer
Do we step toward the pool’s edge
And gaze downward
Upon waters laced with serpent
And sea vermin alike
Then, down through murky depths
Do we together plunge
And a claw,
So ghastly,
So gnarled,
So hairy,
Reacheth up to take us three
Deeper, past sea beast after sea beast
As he shall swing me
Toward leg after leg, throat, and heart
Until the wretch’s layer, hath we reached

Low and behold,
So few moments spent in the waterless cave
And I am not within the warrior’s grasp!
Yet, through great struggle
Doth he manage to find me again
And at final raise
Do I strike the head of such a horrid creature

With might and strong force
Doth my iron sing against her cranium
Tones of finality

In each ring of my blade
Doth echo every battle cry
Every last clang, and smash
Of the armor
And bodies
Of fallen warriors
Fallen by my actions

Again do I fall to sand
In the worst of stupors
Over my realized failure
As the warrior reacheth for other assistance

As the wretch breathes her last,
I am reached for again
In the final ‘slaying’ of her offspring
Offspring!
To have thunk
Such a beast
Could have loved and procreated…

Severed did I
The thoughts and crown
Of this poor creature
Scarce were the warrior and I aware,
though, that This strike
Was to be my last
For the acidic blood of such a beast
Dissolves every fiber of my being

Eats away, as years of battle
Had already set in to accomplish
Yet, however twice at rate

Many a year
Many a warrior
Hath I well served
Even in my mere moment
Of failure, did I still keep
A warrior, greatest among others
Alive in bloodstained waters

It hurts so that it makes me sick
Like a blade, lodged in, twisted

penetrating

          further



   further



             further


into an already b
                          r
                           o
                        k
                           e
                             n
                    h
                      e
                    a
                      r
                        t



can't move

can't breathe

can't think

can't see...


Except for those ice-blue eyes
that pierce into mine
filled with salt I initiated


How could I have been so blind?



all those days you drove me home
pressed those perfect lips into the beckoning fold of a yearning mouth


all that time on my pavement
risking all
for contact,

b
  r
u
   s
h

of skin

sudden chills
from my lips against your neck


contour folds into contour

and your blasted begging blue eyes,
how i caved everytime
how unseen sentiments pulled you away

you were always pulling away

damn your blue eyes for all the
desire, blasted blazing green
so much i couldn't see

you were luring me into a trap


we were luring ourselves


the rain
it crashes against the glass
the angriest of tides

swelling with each embrace
your shivers at the brush of

s
  k
i
n

along your spine


Fall

Fall

Fall


away from me now
your damned ice blues
do nothing but burn


swim

swim

swim


into the deepest waters
where your red fades into the black

Stay

with me one last night

so your lies,
false hope notions
broken promises
crash over me
like the angriest torrents

that rock me so sweetly to sleep

tonight

Rendered helpless, hopeless by the mere collision of rain against stone, against glass

Salt mixes with stillicide, waiting in the dark for your silhouette, for the sun to rise

Green flashes, a panic at the prick against crimson at the near reality


Eyes close and I am resting on white, running in yellow beams, our steps and our breaths,

one.


Sudden chills and I am awake, as drops gain speed, gain velocity, as the black line sways across the shield, hardly keeping the glass dry

Deafening silence, nothing except for ink against fibers


Darkness comes and the race to brighter dreams shall yet again eventuate

I need to study...


... i need to sleep

i love you too much.. it makes my head spin

makes me want to sleep, makes me want to stay awake

makes me want chocolate, makes me taste salt..

makes me want to sing, makes me want to scream


you are the ring in my laughter,

you are the pain in my tears


you make me want to lay, you make me want to run



so many emotions, all balled into one

Eyes close, and darkness encompasses. A descent so sudden, the body is in shock.
My feet are under me again.

The shoulder stretches, as its extension rises.
Frantic, gazing ahead, the single passing patch of light unveils your face.

The air chills as it rushes through troubled intention.

Footsteps rush, your grip narrowing, as our world darkens. Never would I have guessed such a black could intensify with such severity.

A flash of green breaks the darkness this place has made of these senses, as panicked, dampened skin emanates. Such an uncertainty moistens anxious eyes, such a terror of this unknown.  

The heat intensifies, your grip strengthening. Confused tears fall, from frenzy or the dripping red in these fingers.

The darkness in your eyes, as these passions spark orange and yellow.

The red burning consumes, and then blackness, these fingers no longer in your hold.

Silence.

Tired, weighted eye lids lift, cold droplets above them. Trembling lips murmur,
"It's over, now. . .


It's over, now."

Midnight. Black, yet clear.

A silence so serene.


Embraces of the softest pink; each droplet, the sweetest kisses of deep night.


Silhouettes, forever colliding, intertwining, shrill breaths taken in harmony. Gasps of elation.

A touch, the slightest brush of skin, of temple against joint.

The sharpest charge of ice blue starts deep, envelopes green and crimson, fills every crevice and labyrinth, overwhelming the precipice

Drowning all sense of time, of reason..

Of fear....


And as the tide swells, it takes me under;

your spark, ever-glowing  

Burning its way home, into the dark cavern that is this very heart

Silence

Sundered by the soft pitter-patter beyond the glass.

Cold, desolate is this blue heart. . .

Dormant from days past.

Such a whirlwind, a torrent; flashing green, swelling crimson and charges of ice blue that could stop focal vessel all together


A heart swells at the next flash of light, brush of skin; your presence, forever engulfing such jaded veins.

Silhouettes collide, combine, as inspirations and movements make us one.

Your absence is the whole in this heart, boring deeper, corroding until copper strings pull the pieces near again.

The dark eve falls, as dreams cascade, where at last, desired contour shall fall into open arms of a weathered heart.



Run


Run


Run,


my love, for the black deluge hath finally taken me