we're just animals
filled with handfuls
of all the awfulness
to try and write my
wrongs would cause
a bunch of problems
it's deliberate
or is it not
it's hard to decide
it's hard to focus
sometimes it's
hard to let it all ride
it's hard to spit my
dumb rhymes to try
and lie all the time
i want your piece of the pie
i want to be your new bride
i want...
i want it all so i can
share it with you
i want to fuck 'em all
to say that no one
compares to you
you're like a phantom limb
i feel you when
you're not around
low brow dirty jokes
you know they have
me cheesin' now
ugly looks
fuck your face
you're funnier
than any clown
a loud sound
bumping in
the dead of
the night
arise from
one more dream
about you and just
lay there and cry
maybe if i didn't
tell the fucking truth
all the time
i'd feel alive
instead of just
a withered violet inside

we're just animals
filled with handfuls
of all the awfulness

sometimes i pick up a pack of your brand
to taste you on my tongue and
feel you in my hand

it feels me up with smoke until
i'm coughing like my throat is strepped
i think about you and i feel sort of
breathless

ahem

excuse me but i need a second
i'm feeling lightheaded
should take a minute before i reckon

i'll wreck it all
like a wreckin' ball
where'd i get the gall
to make the call
blah blah blah
you won't fall for it
for all the game i try to spit
anything i ever do is just
a fucking crock of shit

holy shit

what's the word for
the opposite of legit
i never knew it
never had to
since until i met you
i never blew it

i'm the kind of kid with
a mouth bigger than
the room of requirement
or a model who ate
one too many burgers
and had to retire it

i'm on my own shit
you live a glorified remix
your demons are seething
i'm breathing, no, wheezing
smokin' too much nicotine
or maybe weed

i can't believe that anybody
ever even listened to me

i needa cool down
needa slow my roll
before these late night
bar fights take their toll

it's like a nightmare
i'm right there
caught up in
the middle

what's the
point in lying

fuck bein' civil

i belittle anything
that isn't me 'cause
everything's another
shade of grey
comparatively
it's scary how he
is so self aware
yet in person his ego
is right under there

under where??

not above a cheap laugh  
=i don't care=
just another fuckin' artist
=i don't care=
i'm really not this rude though
=but i don't care=
so nod your head and shake it off
=like you don't care=

live a life
based on ifs...

live a lie
based on whens...

to divide
left side wins...

to decide
take both ends...

HOW DO YOU tell somebody
you can't LIVE WITHOUT them
without sounding like AN IDIOT

dying to die / living to die
please don't make me try this time

kept my eyes on the prize +
my nose to the grindstone
coughs heavy / lungs sore
eyes still high blown

sewn every bit of it that
able men could reap
took a drink + spit it
all over every single thing

we're in too deep
get shallow

why don't you go play
my new favorite song +
turn it up 'cause we can't
stand the silence

i know, i know it's been so long
but it'll kill it if it feels like we're trying

we're in too deep
get shallow

short on sleep + mostly restless
it's far too late to mention breakfast

you gotta box fulla alla yr shit
you got nothing to do with any of it

so

shut yr facehole you stupid dick
make a sandwich made with my two fists

hope yr pants split
fuck you, you get the drift

bet you'll die just waitin' for apocalypse

everybody just waitin' for apocalypse

short on sleep + mostly restless

i'm like this but mostly am that and you are cheesed noodles leftover from the main course
i'm the shit and you're just that but mostly we're faked parking tickets in three feet of snow
i'm just you and you just sat there and took it all in like fine art photographs w/ white wine
you just need it more than i'm any possibility of the proper source of any sort of sustenance

sometimes people go
out of their way
to make sure you'll
never forget them
regardless of how hard you try

this is not their fault
simply, it means that
you mean something
+ they won't forget you, either

little moments
etched in synapses
+ cardiac veins

shanked to the left
with the haters + unwell

this is just life

This is my retirement from poetry but I suppose it'll be
akin to when Jay-Z retired from rapping.
He was just tired I'm just tired
words don't rhyme anymore
they're just fucking le  t   t    e     r      s

Amusement comes seldom and using conventions as catharsis to get over scars is irksome.
Yes I'm broken Yes You've broken me Yes The Royal You
it's all of you, it's none of you and always it's just You and they're all about You and

They're all for You.

this next one is for me.

thank You.

how many things can we say
about the weather
'til we both end up in nothing
in the morning
just my sweater covers
secret skin you've hidden
since we met that one semester
they all told me you were bad news
but to me that's all the better

But I'm A Vampire, So

THIS IS NOT A POEM THIS IS A TESTAMENT THIS IS THE NEW TESTAMENT IT IS THE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION WE HAVE EVER ASKED ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT ANYTHING WOULD EVER BE GOOD AGAIN OR IF BROKEN MISCONCEPTIONS ARE THE ONLY CONCEPTIONS OR IF DECEPTION IS EVEN THAT OR IF IT IS JUST OUR PERCEPTION OF TRUTH ASKEW ESCHEW UNDO REDO UNDO REDO BACKSPACE BACKSPACE ELLIPSES
THIS IS WHAT WE THINK ABOUT WHEN WE'RE LEFT TO OUR DEVICES AND WHAT WE THINK ABOUT WHILE WE BRUSH OUR TEETH IT IS JUST THAT WHITE NOISE IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE WE WASH THE DISHES AND STOP AND CHECK TO MAKE SURE WE'RE WEARING A SHIRT WHICH MATCHES OUR SHOES AND THAT OUR SHOES ARE MATCHING OUR PANTS AND THAT OUR PANTS ARE MATCHING OUR HATS AND THAT THE FACT THAT THESE LETTERS ARE CAPITAL MEANS YOU'RE YELLING IN YOUR HEAD WHEN REALLY THIS IS JUST A WHISPER FROM A LOVER BEATING HEAVILY AGAINST YOUR EARDRUM IN THE DARK

I have not written a good poem about you since our freshman year in college when I was still a drop out and the leaves were this odd orange color that wasn't quite orange, but not really quite red either.
Frat parties are stupid.

I have not written a good poem about you since that time I curled up while puking on myself in my driveway after I said I loved you when I thought I understood what love was and that you were it.
Love letters are stupid.

I have not written a good poem about you since that time you drunk dialed me and said something about how you missed me or something and how I was great and you wished we could work out.
My friends are stupid.

I have not written a good poem about you since last week.
This is stupid.

all of your flaws are perfect
everything you think is unique
they all really do care about you
the one who makes you feel those things
you make them feel that way, too

                                                                             trusting everybody = trusting no one
                                                                             believing everything = believing nothing

the placement of the previous statements is
the difference between god and the devil