so many memories
crammed into this head
so many memories
that i've come to dread

so many things
that were once so grand
so many stories
i'll tell without your hand

so many dreams
that are lost in all the clutter
so many hopes
that i wouldn't dare mutter

so many wishes
that have yet to come true
so many wishes
that made up me and you

so many thoughts
that i've yet to think
so many poisons
i should like to drink

but i've got so many memories
locked away inside
so many memories
that stayed though you have died

I cut it out slow,
Just to feel the pain.
I stab out my eyes,
So they no longer may rain.

I break down my wall,
So there's nothing to hide.
I plaster on a smile,
They don't see what's inside.

I make myself cheery,
When the world grows sad.
I make myself calm,
Even though I'm so mad.

I look to the sun,
Yet hide in this night.
I make myself brave,
Though I'm filled with fright.

I cut myself fast,
Just to know that I feel.
I kill myself slow,
To know that it's real.

I cut it out slow,
Just to feel the pain.
I stab out my eyes,
So they no longer may rain.

I break down my wall,
So there's nothing to hide.
I plaster on a smile,
They don't see what's inside.

I make myself cheery,
When the world grows sad.
I make myself calm,
Even though I'm so mad.

I look to the sun,
Yet hide in this night.
I make myself brave,
Though I'm filled with fright.

I cut myself fast,
Just to know that I feel.
I kill myself slow,
To know that it's real.

Half alive but mostly dead.

Half smiling but filled with dread.

Half awake yet still asleep.

Half a heart that you can not keep.

Half of the pain tries to hide.

Half your hope is held inside.

Half a person and half a slave.

Half dead but already in a grave.

'Cause you're only half alive....

I know what they see,
What they think they know.
I know what they hear,
Silence like snow.

I know how they are,
All covered with guck.
I know who they know,
The souls that they fuck

I know,
How I know.
That they take all the hearts,
Make them their show.

But they hide this part,
The hate that they do.
They hide it behind the mask,
That says "I love you."

So you see,
Their not a real lover.
For everything that they really are,
Has a cover.

I warned you, but you didn't listen.
I warned you, but you don't hear.
I told you, she's a heartbreak.
But it just went through you ear.

So now I am here, just abandoned.
Here I am, so alone.
I promised you, I'd never call.
Yet here I am staring at the phone.

The tears were many, a thousand more.
The heartbreak hurtful, and god so strong.
With all this pain, deep down inside.
I always thought, we'd go on for so long.

So she's pretty now, but beauty is fleeting.
Figure is youth, but a heart is undying.
So when you grown, with children many.
Always remember the girl, you left crying.

We met at a party,
Still can't remember where.
You were kind, sweet, gentle,
With confetti in your hair.

We danced and talked,
Then sat awhile.
Your tone was caring,
And boy that smile.

Then the room went dark,
All out with the light.
I was so scared,
Of darkness and night.

But you held me close,
Told me I wouldn't die.
And while deep in that darkness,
I saw sparks fly.

I'm sick of our fighting,
But I don't want to leave.
I love our friendship,
And the stories we weave.

I'm tired of the lies,
I just want the truth.
I want all the memories,
From inside the photo booth.

You love me,
Or so you say.
I love you,
Each and every day.

I love you

I love you

I love you

And I swear it's true


Sing our song,
And I'll come running
But your just too sly,
And evilly cunning.


So you don't move,
In the way I'm headed.
But all your lies,
Are in my head in-bedded.

You take all the right turns,
Yet you're all out of wack.
Because you take two steps forward,
And ten steps back.

We danced till the dawn.
Feet never touching floor.
Heart never laughing more.

We slept through the day.
Silently, so silently we slept.
But through my dreams I wept.

I woke to the sound of silence.
No heartbeat.
No bang of your feet.

I found you again though.
Made more promise I knew you wouldn't keep.
And I still wept in my sleep.

We danced till the dawn.
By the edge of the sea.
Singing ever so quietly out of key.

You are my life, my love.
I don't think that you see.
But its okay if you don't love me

The sweet smell of sea salt
wafting from the beach.

It reminds me of all the memories
that are still within reach.

Like the nights we shared
alone on the pier.

All the scary movies we watched
that filled me with fear.

Or the nights of sweet dreams
that I had by your side.

When curled up beside you
where I felt I could hide.

We watched the stars sometimes
as they swirled through the skies.

We watched children in the sand
with joy in their eyes.

We saw it all
on those warm summer's days.

That memory in my head
still replays.

I left my heart
somewhere in the sea.

But I know one day
it will come drifting back to me.

Nothing
that is what I feel

Nothing
try to tell me it's not real

Something
is much to hard to think

Something
Can be be gone in a blink

Thoughts
are too hard to see

Thoughts
just long to consume me

so

Nothing
is running through my head

and

Nothing
will be there once I'm dead

The girl was a quiet one,
The boy a reckless mess.
The girl was neat and tidy,
The boy couldn't care less.

The girl was sweet and gentle,
The boy could wreck a heart.
The girl could never lie,
That was the boys favorite part.

But somehow fates collided,
And they fell in love.
It must have been a sign,
From the angels up above.

They danced and leapt through love,
Passing each and every test.
Many people said,
These two must be blest.

They were all but holy,
They committed every sin.
But they never showed it,
They held it all within.

Some nights had heated arguments,
Others filled with fun.
That truly faithful girl,
Was thankful for every one.

One night when words were flying,
A fist came flying too.
She never saw it coming,
'Cause she thought the love was true.

What he didn't know,
When he'd given the final blow.
Is that he was a father,
Thank, God it didn't show.

The girl cried for hours,
The boy just didn't care.
She swore to herself that day,
"The Secret" she'd never share.

So the boy left quietly,
Almost as silently as he came.
But that truly faithful girl,
Will never be the same.

Get out of my head

Let go of my heart

Can't you see

That we must part?

Our story is over

Our battle as one

Just let me go

'Cause we are done

Empty blank faces on a empty black stage.
Empty dry words on a blank page.

Vacant dead noise causing not a sound.
Vacant wet rain on a longing ground.

Dead little heartbeat deep inside my chest.
Dead little heart hidden behind my breast.

Missing words of courage and "I'm heres".
Missing stains from my tears.

Empty, Vacant, Missing, Dead.
Just like all the thoughts in my head.

Who do you think you are?
A sage, a knight, a king?
A big spender?
With a fat diamond ring?

Who do you think you are?
A co-worker, a friend?
A true lover?
Till the end?

Is that who you think you are?
My lover, my friend?
Then why did you treat me,
Like the money you lend?

Why did you treat me like trash?
Nothing more the white trash.
That's what you said,
When my eyes rained tears the color of ash.

WHY?
Was I just some prize to be won?
Was I just another woman,
That might bear your son?

Were you the maker of hearts?
Were you the water and I the steam?
Were we the stars?
Were we a dream?

What were we?
I can hardly remember now.
But your scars make you unforgettable,
For the slice through my brow.

So, who do you think you are?
Because that person you are not.
Not here, not there.
Not in your wildest thought.

Who do you think you are?
A sage, a knight, a king?
A big spender?
With a fat diamond ring?

Who do you think you are?
A co-worker, a friend?
A true lover?
Till the end?

Is that who you think you are?
My lover, my friend?
Then why did you treat me,
Like the money you lend?

Why did you treat me like trash?
Nothing more the white trash.
That's what you said,
When my eyes rained tears the color of ash.

WHY?
Was I just some prize to be won?
Was I just another woman,
That might bear your son?

Were you the maker of hearts?
Were you the water and I the steam?
Were we the stars?
Were we a dream?

What were we?
I can hardly remember now.
But your scars make you unforgettable,
For they slice through my brow.

So, who do you think you are?
Because that person you are not.
Not here, not there.
Not in your wildest thought.

I bite my lip,
So you can't see.
All the pain and sadness,
Deep inside of me.

And this disguise works,
At least for the time.
I can still call you,
And say that you're mine.

Because you don't know that I'm sad,
Or crazy or insane.
You don't know,
All the things in my brain.

You don't know the thoughts,
You don't know the fears.
You can't see the heartache,
You can't feel the tears.

You can't feel the knife edge,
You don't see the blood.
I promise it's alone a little,
No more then a flood.

Don't worry about it though,
Because I hide them every day.
When I think about it,
I know exactly what you'd say.

I'm a fool for what I did,
Just a fool without a trick.
I'm just another cat,
Who's wounds she will lick.

This disguise is working,
So I'll wear this mask till I die.
But must forgive me darling,
For I never meant to lie.

Yes, I’m leaving,
For a bit longer then a while.
Yes, I’m traveling,
Farther then a mile.

So you might think,
That all hope is lost,
And like a raging sea,
All your feelings are tossed.

But I am in the wind,
That whispers through your hair.
And I am the river,
That’s going no where.

I am the Air,
That roughs up the day.
That tells you my heartbeat,
When I’m so far away.

And I am the dreams,
That fill up you head.
I am the pillows,
That litter your bed.

I am there,
Even when I’m not.
For I am in everything,
That you’ve got.