A barraster at law no less
I wouldnt trust I must confess
Looking down your pointed nose
seductively holding pose
Your linkedIn profile
who could see
just how you get your
In Hi ace vans
and blacked out jeeps
Gratefully they pay their fee
In return for an STD
Heres the justice overflow
For Nank and wank and gigolo
I'm returning him to you
When I scrape him from my shoe
For you my dear a final fact
His STD is still intact!
Sometimes I wish I wasn't me
When the washing machine leaks buckets
and you stand transfixed and never tell me
or I want a badly earned cup of tea
but you decided it would be fun to pour the milk away
Sometimes I wish I was someone else
When you smash one of my favorite things
because you like the sound
or you use the toilet on display
to relieve yourself
And boy just sometimes
do I wish I wasn't me?
When all your questions leave me addled
and all your screaming leaves me deaf
with fear of another thundering sameness day
Who would I be?
The posh Mary with the new fence that never rusts?
The perfect house and shiny windows
No not for me too boring
The women that rent the new complex
I dont even know there names
Than dress up in all the latest gear
Go to the woman with the green door
have meals out and wine at home
No, not me at all.
Right now I'm glad I'm me again
As you wrap your arms around me
Towering over me,
and give me a goodnight kiss
None of those other women
are as sure as me that
the kisses they get are as loving
or genuine as the ones you give me
None of those other glamorous women
with their uncomplicated lives
and false nails
are as sure of a lifetime of love
as I am
I just forgot my gratitude
If I wasn't your Mom,
I dont know who Id be.......
Yes I know now
I know who Id be!
Id be bewildered!
Twisted dried and withered up I took you out
and laid you down to rest
A little tear slipped from the corner of my eye
when i said goodbye forever
I thought of all the dark winter mornings when
the only light \i saw was yours
You were a big presence in my life, strong
forceful and sheltering
You received all my black moods graciously
and drove them into the earth
You were the one constant that I was sure to see
in the morning unchanged
Until the faithful week that brought with it
the glistening black frost
I wrapped you tightly, securely to protect you
for you were not built to feel such cold
I cried in disbelief the day you died as the
bewildered birds sat on your bare branches
and sang a dirge for you.
I love you with all my heart
I want nothing more than to be just like you
But you dont accept me
My gentleness, my innocence
My belief in the goodness of life
and my eagerness to find it everywhere
and in everyone
Instead you push your petty prejudiced view on me
and then leave me for days even weeks
torturing myself, trying to understand
was it just a joke?
I cannot embrace your hate
I dont want to, because my heart is pure
my mind cannot comprehend such things
Like a dog, I will always love people and always forgive
Can you accept that in me and nurture it?
Can you even become like me?
I so want to be just like you.
I'm sitting in my hospital bed
Mid shock and pain and tears
My husband sits beside me
allaying all my fears
They took my glands
and then my breast
I dont even really care
The sadness that I feel is for....
my husbands love affair
The phone bill showed a number
I didn't recognize
A little bit of delving
exposing all the lies
I wrenched my hands and tore my hair
weak from sickness and despair
She was very lovely,
much prettier than me
Although I tried,
I knew that I
could never ever be
as pretty or as clever
as the very lovely she
I sat at home alone at night
and willed the pain to leave
It just grew worse with every time
he left me to deceive
My bleeding heart refused to heal
It seeped to every cell
My life while I was being deceived
became a living hell
I couldn't eat, I couldn't think
I lay awake all night
Then I cursed the both of them
out loud with all my might
The pain was all encompassed
The fever wet my bed
He checked the room
when he came home
to see if I was dead
Ive kept this secret all this time
pretended not to know
trying to let it all sink in
frightened to let go
I haven't got the strength to live
or the will to fight
I know my time is running out
Perhaps Ill go tonight
Im all alone my body shakes
I cant keep in the heat
The only promise I can make
my revenge will taste so sweet
I hover high above the bed
confused at what I see
a broken body all alone
That quite resembles me
Ah! here he comes all dressed in black
relief upon his brow
"I'm glad shes gone to a better place"
"her suffering over now"
"Lying hypocritical Bastard"
I scream but no one hears
They huddle round to comfort him
he sheds his crocodile tears
Keeping up appearance
well Ill soon see to that
"Ill haunt your life of misery
you cheating lying rat"
She stands by him at my grave side
As I hover over head
Where everything becomes so clear
Amid the prayers being said
For all the pain you gave me
I say you will be cursed
I push with all my ethereal might
In my grave she lands head first
You took my bed
why not my grave?
for as you took
so too I gave!
I laughed out loud ,an angry laugh
looked towards the watery sun
Not ready to depart just yet
My revenge has just begun
I have a new computer
Its clever as can be
Fixing all my words
for I cant spell you see
But I can never type it up
Without a draft(or ten)
Eat the corners of my page
and chew upon my pen.
I got a second chance with you
such pure felt love and joy
To live again your fathers youth
Through you my darling boy
Your blondie curls cascading down
Your big eyes piercing blue
Your little waddle when you run
Your daddy did that too
Your laugh is so infectious
Your smile, your toothy grin
Your little nose that wrinkles up
The dimple on your chin
The words you say too big for you
Yes, your daddy did that too
Although like him in many ways
Not the only reason why
I think your perfect, gorgeous, handsome
Little baby boy!
There is a world parallel to ours
With silver threads were bound
The souls of our departed old
In mirror image will be found
Their old become implanted
Young in many wombs
While ours are given to them
old in silk cocoons
When an old man leaves this earth
To pass over as we say
This is where he goes to
and this is where he'l stay
He arrives within their universe
Wrapped in a silk cocoon
He'l rest in there for nine long months
And emerge like a flower in bloom
The mid-life parents,overjoyed
They stare in awe at him
They tend to every need he has
He returns their love to them
Too soon his mid-life years approach
His life is rich with fun
They must protect him, from himself
He is their precious son
As he grows younger, they'r younger still
And heading for baby years
They'r young and slow, preparing to go
Confronting all their fears
The old man now full in his prime
And wishing his own cocoon
And shedding a tear, for his parents dear
He knows must leave him soon
A prayer is said for the baby souls
As they flee through the night, unseen
To a waiting womb in another earth
Not knowing where they have been
Round the bed the prayers are said
an old man departing soon...
And the man in the parallel universe..
toasts to his own cocoon.
Hear the bastard without a conscience snore
Keeping his intimidation to the fore
Lest we forget that hes still here
Instilling his power by wielding fear
Fuck him I say and fuck him again
He is neither kith nor kin
Ill stand up tall and counted be
You prick you cant intimidate me!
Ill rattle all the pots and pans
Ill laugh out loud and clap my hands
Ill make you choke on all your lies
And run a mile from all the noise
Cunning lies in all you do
I can be cunning just like you!
Have you ever sat and wondered who gave man power over all?
Have you ever watched and thought man will cause it all to fall?
And if you sit in wonderment and fail to see my view
We have so little in common and Ill say goodbye to you.
The people of Hiroshima, when they realized their loss
In the name of new technology, were told to bear their cross
When our starving brothers begged with outstretched scrawny hands
Food began to mount and pile in other richer lands
The human life thats taken, without a struggle or a fight
Is condoned because abortion is a mothers given right
The ones that fight for justice are quickly locked in slime
Tortured by the oppressor, a punishment for their crime
When I see our battered children, so innocent and small
Its then I really wonder, who gave man power over all?
If you want to hear a lesser side, Ive plenty as you'l find
For mans intolerance and violence, to man is not confined
Man have caused the bulging eyes of a fox held in despair
as its body is slowly severed, by a cruel and ugly snare.
The sight of badger bating, has brought to many glee
Blinded by their takings, the suffering they cant see.
walking through our countryside, could cause your heart to shudder
At the sight of a baby rabbit with a meximatosis mother
If our graceful otter in his water bed is found,
they will hunt him to exhaustion, on his skin they see a £
On the hare with all its beauty, man will place a hearty bet,
before its torn apart, and left to die an agonizing death.
Our biggest shame, the moron redcoats, on their bugles loudly hail,
They sleep with easy conscience, their prize, his bushy tail.
A bird of the wild is quiet common to find,
imprisoned to sooth mans warped and twisted mind.
To test our beauty products, animals live in pain,
although synthetic fibers if used would do the same.
I find it so disgusting, unnecessary and cruel
that animals go on suffering to improve the ugliness of the fool.
Take your beauty products and put them in the bin
and be assured young ladies, that beauty is within.
I could go on forever of the wrongs that man has done
I hope by now you realize its all for greed or fun.
When the book of mans achievements, is finally unveiled
The one that gave such power to man
Will see that man has failed!
Do you recall the crack brained noddys
predict t'would happen soon?
Do you recall the way they showed
our planet fall in ruin?
The C.N.D with faces white,
deployed their caskets through the night
It was only a theatrical piece
or a fancy dress nowise
Their rumblings of dark dust clouds,
engulfing our Heavenly sky's
We wiser people tried to stay awhile,
even the sullen beings grinned a wiry smile
As their destructive speeches
permeated our very brain
We pitied them, poor fools,
for we knew they were insane
And still our ugly laughter,
carried by the breeze,
could not deter them
as they begged us listen
on their bended knees.
their chanting grew so loud
I switched my mind to pleasant things
, and watched a passing cloud
Join the Greenpeace women!
Say no to Cellafield waste!
I couldn't bear unpleasant things,
I left them then , in haste.
all the headlines read
Many hundreds injured ....
but only two are dead!
" Please be calm " cried politicians
"this is all unfounded fear"
" Its many, many miles away,
it will never reach us here"
My thoughts were switched to Cellafield
and places much the same
I thought of the C.N.D,
I hung my head in shame.
For they came to convey a notion,
To save the human race
Clasping symbolic caskets
Each had a whitened face
They came to give a warning
to those that wouldn't see
I salute the presistant efforts
of the protesting C.N.D
What did I do to help,
as these people were harassed ?
Am I guilty too of somewhere in the past?
A mass of faces
Dont come near-just leave me be..
My mind it needs tranquility
dont ask whats wrong? I dont know!
I feel so tired - I want to go
Closing in.....around......a steeple!
Now such pain
Dear Christ ...
I think I'm going insane.
"Fall Down"he cried, and the walls were blasted in all directions,
The roof was flung over the top of the world
as he stood among ruins lighted by a single taper.
He listened to the organ music, not recognizing it at first but having gained an appetite, he proceeded across the blackness to satisfy his hunger in the only available light still living.
The goblet that she held aloft had a fiery glow about it.
The green ball of radiating light that shone was not an emerald but something from his genetic memory of forefathers that had somehow embedded itself obsessionaly in his brain.
He began speaking, asking awkward questions that held little or no meaning to her.
She answered cautiously, then stepped over the dead pine needles to comfort him.
It seemed to her he had been wounded in the war of Love, and his amour welded securely in place had left its mark.
He took a step towards her"may I kiss you"? he asked.
His amour clinked slightly as he took her in his arms with all the warmth of a log fire in late December .
All the leaves yellowed at once and a double file of moons passed through the heavens.
There was a strange sound in the Christmas sky
She felt strangely at home in this alien world without time, where flowers capitulate and the stars do battle in the endless heavens, rising in turmoil, falling at last to the ground, splintered and bleeding.
He had become deathly quiet.
She searched the glowing embers for for an answer, but the answer came from deep within herself.
Now she understood, for a few brief moments , he had confused X with Y.
His armor had been breached.
Slowly he turned his head and forced himself to look away- ashamed.
The blood flowed from the open wounds in his biceps,
and ran down his body and dripped from his fingertips profusely
His world had jumped backwards, as had hers.
"Drink"? she asked.
He gulped down the hot liquor.
It burnt his insides.
He felt a change and his strength returning.
"Some things never change"she said softly
His inquiring eyes searched her face for meaning
There are, she said things that have long ceased to be objects, and emotions that stand solely as never -to -be calender occasions, outside that sequence of element called time.
He had armed himself well, to guard against his vulnerability and fear.
He slashed expertly at any deeper meaning that could have been hidden in their encounter.
Gleefully he dismembered her word by word, rejecting her love as a pettish ideal.
Inwardly she wept and her heart bled and it bled, fouling the floor with her infernal animal juices, dripping and running until life itself was reddened, and their extacy had become a Winters night Nightmare.
He turned and fled into the night.
It was like running through a waist- high snowdrift.
He knew it was wrong.
He was compounding his error by running
The night was silent now, it was endless, It slanted towards the end of the world.
It gave off its own light.
There was no sky- nothing overhead.
He was alone.
His own voice echoed back to him from the wilderness.
"I HATE YOU" ..........."ANIMAL"..........."I HATE YOU"
Gathering his thoughts and shedding his armor,
he returned to make amends, surprised at his own since of honor and chivalry.
His boring apologies seemed to her a functional disorder,
that occurred for pretty flimsy reasons.
First times are always special she explained
The pins and needles are gone through and Ive caught my breath again.
They agreed to be parted as friends.
She watched as he walked away,
Honor, armor and fear still intact.
They had smashed the clock of time ,
and feasted on the ten or so ages of man.
A tiny pool of water lay on the palm of her hand.
The residue of another world, another generation.
A little momentum left behind, like a tear shed unsuspectingly.
She closed her eyes in disbelief, but couldn't stop the seeing.
The impulses of nature had become a reality.
The evening sky looked as it never had before.
The morning sun shed tears that turned in turmoil.
A flash of metallic light covered the night sky.
Her world receded for an instant, then grew stable again .
Seconds later her palm was clear and unblemished.
She had embedded herself in the armor so dearly held by him.
She stood for the last time in this alien world.
In the midst of an explosion of thought,
she stared frightened into the deep blue mirrors of his mind.
How could he know of her nightmare?
This abstract tragedy, that he so unknowingly had become a part of.
Her saddened eyes watched him leave her life as abruptly as he entered
pledging her heart and silent love to him for ever.
Locked within a room
As square, as square can be
Nothing but a tiny door
A door without a key
This little square was pleasant once
And I was happy then
Till happiness got out of hand
and slowly turned to sin
A snake crawled in beneath the door
And I was made to see
Oblivion lived beyond the door
It handed me a key
The key was just a half drop size
But I was glad to see
peace and courage lay beyond
Theres no going back for me
Sitting here feeling numb
words for poems wont come
Cant think Brain dead
Thoughts racing round my head
Soul has fled and left me here
swaddled in my cloak of fear
The darkened night is closing in
The stomach knots appear again
Head is pounding one,two , three
Please,Oh please just pray for me
Always spitting poison
With that your truly blessed
You want another apology?
Well, I did my fucking best
Life doesn't come with a book of how
Of dos of dont and must
Understand I really tried
And I'm sorry for your disgust
Life is never perfect
It wasn't meant to be
Just know I really really tried
With all I had in me
I just need to tell you all
how wonderful you are
Each and every one of you
Make me so proud
In so many different ways
and for so many different reasons
Most of all for being your own
beautiful unique selves
I feel proud of myself too
For having a hand in shaping
When we share a common silence
Of the thoughts within our mind
Of things left yet unborn
and things long left behind
We are sharing something special
Although we may not say
Through the common silence shared
we are trying to find our way
For a silence in its simplest form
can do much more than speech
It can delve within the soul
a place no words can reach
It kills a conversation
It kills every added sound
Behind a cosy silence
The dept of life is found
I am sick of words
that flow and tumble
randomly from my mind
Not making the right sound
or having the correct flow
My instinct is to kill them,
chop them up and discard them
-like rare orchards
in the desert never to be seen
The man with the Hoover
will come tomorrow,
he' l put the tube through my ear
and suck the words out one by one.
Ill hear them swishing past as they go.
ill replace them with better words,
with little connecting words in between
Ill make a chain of words
and use them up
before the Hoover man comes again
Ill be their savoir-
I may even become a poet
They came in the night- unannounced
Seering pain that tore my heart
This is it, I,m going to die
No wait, ... its just another fart