I could write a million post- it notes
Reminders of our love, your essence,
The timeline of our demise

And scatter them through continents
Making zig- zags across Atlas's burden

So in a couple years, when you're trekking the world
You can stop every so often and remember me.

my heart is like a soda pop
that once was shook too hard
opened up, and left outside
to fend for my own guard

when you came i was afraid
i'd be too flat for your own tastes
but my heart fizzed and popped again
when we got face to face

i remember
always standing to the side
unobtrusive
making sure everyone was
happy
smiling
faking
as i flitted over boundaries
only to be scorched
and sent back to my side

i remember
my sister, beautiful
my brother, strong
growing to be individuals
as i shadowed them
mirrored them
nurtured them
and they never knew
just ignored me
as i stepped back
into my corner

i remember
attention from kin
as i wondered
why they couldn't see
my sister's beauty
or my brother's strength
as they instead marveled at me
the youngest
with rosy cheeks
and a sunny smile
as they envied my innocence

and now i stand
at the thick line between
adolescence and adulthood
toeing this line
not quite ready to jump
in fear of being scorched
only to retreat back into
the familiar

i remember

your eyes
my favorite shade of simplicity
your smile
the way it whispers slowly to me

you and i have something
and they'll never know
because they'll never understand
what we need to grow

your arm
around my waist as you slowly sing
your voice
the way you'll love me through anything

you and i have each other
and i know that we're strong
someday we can get away
and be singing our song

heal me with your kiss
never let me go

the one i opened my heart to
told everything to
could run to
the one i never expected

the one who knows me
believes in me
trusts me
the one i didn't see coming

you take my breath away

i've told you my every thought
except
that i love you
and i'm scared that you'll leave

stare at a blank beige wall
add a bed,
a window with a thick metal screen
and you're supposed to call it home...

2 weeks
of the blank beige wall
of the medication
of no free will
no mind of my own
only "coping skills" and
"directional behavior therapy"

i wanted out
i needed to get out
i couldn't take it
but now i am free

I speak the words of this new generation
I represent the future of this nation
All I try to do is find personal elation
But the past pulls us back with much discrimination

I speak the words of this new generation
I represent the future of this nation
You say we’re all kind creatures of God’s creation
While you ignore the poor and instead go on vacation

I speak the words of this new generation
I represent the future of this nation
Trying to build off a weak foundation
A foundation built from our elder’s relations

I speak the words of the new generation
I represent the future of this nation
Trying to rid the world of frustration
But it seems all was lost somewhere in the translation

"have you been drinking?"
"i dunno"
"i can smell booze on your breath"

she's too cool for school
too ice for nice
to free for me

she was high in my childhood
and drunk in my reality
but she was always
the smartest person i knew

i guess i'm just stupid

i'm falling in love with you
more and more each day
without boundaries
or expectations
or a definite future
and a plan
and someday, we'll run away.

you say we'll go to
wherever the hell we want to go
whether it's
Paris
or Wisconsin
we don't need to plan it out
just yet
but i know it'll happen
and that's why
you keep me alive.

let's play board games together when we're 80
just you and i
i'll take park place
you take boardwalk
i'll pass go
you get out of jail free
i'll take a chance
you'll own the B&O railroad
we could
take over
this whole damn board

i'd still love you if you were
single
taken (stolen)
engaged
married
sick
healthy
dead

i won't be captured
i won't be put in a jar
and manufactured

you drew a line
then helped me to cross it
you found common sense
then laughed when i lost it

life isn't about
playing games
and acting tough
life's for
sharing your heart
and spreading the love

i wore a dress today
it was pink
and it had flowers
and i painted
a lovely shade of rose
on my lips
and i tickled my cheek
when i swirled blush onto it

and i cursed and i swore
like a sailor, actually
and i made dirty jokes
and made people laugh
in an unattractive manner

but when i was quiet,
i was a perfect
little
doll
with a pink dress
and pink lips
smiling to herself,
as if i had
some kind of wonderful
secret

i just wanted
to let everyone know
that
it took me
20 damn minutes
to find out
how
to add a poem

i know it's not really goodbye
so why can't i stop crying?

a couple days
that's all
i survived 13 years without
your eyes
your smile
your words
reminding me i'm alive

a couple days
that's all it takes
for me
to fall
more
into
love
with
you

and i'm scared i won't make it

you were always there

but now...





i just hope i don't need you in these next couple days

because if you aren't

i can't run to anyone

i can't run all the way to new jersey
but maybe
we could meet halfway
i'd do anything for your smile

when you say something
i feel it
when you do something
i hear it

in a world of
blindness
and conformity
i'm the one
to chase away your fears

you found me
you caught me
you chose me
you know me

so hi
my name's erika

once a wave,
now crashed the shore
once just friends
now are we more?

will you be
my valentine?
;)

you are the burning fire
flaring from the sun
into the cold sky
bold

you are the slowly falling rain
spilling from the galaxy
into my outstretched arms
soft

i am the moon
reflecting the light from your sun
into your heart
confused

you will never know how amazing you are.
you've seen me at my worst and best,
and i'm glad to call you my best friend.
i never want to lose you :)