I thought it to be wonderful,
To only cause a sense of bliss.
Years of searching, years of dreaming,
Years of wishing for emotions like this.

Expectations held high,
Thinking that I would only ever smile.
That at the moments our lips met,
The world would stop for a while.

I believed it to be magical,
With ideas of fantastic futures.
My imagination depicting our passionate lives,
Perfection portrayed only through her.

In the depths of my mind,
Everything was figured out
And I was sure of how we would be:
A typical couple infused with happiness,
With lives that were worry free…

But with time I’ve come to see,
That love has just as well made me weak,
A fool of my own dreams,
And a victim of stupid fantasies.

It has infected me with stains of insecurity,
And unnecessary doses of jealousy.
With a highly pensive mind,
That only brings out the worst in me.

Is this how it is meant to be?
That when one finds true happiness,
The struggles begin to run deep?
That the little things begin to grow in power,
Causing everything I imagined to simply be devoured?

Can it be true, that I was wrong,
That love does more than set your heart free?

Well…as I lay here and
Await for the answer to strike from above,
I will continue the path I’ve chosen,
And refuse to believe in the dark side of love.

By arms extended,
To show that you belong here,
I will welcome you.

In the moments between now and then,
I pray that I will somehow see you again.
Though your words and laughter
Are enough to hold onto,
Nothing compares to the warmth I feel
With my arms around you.

In the moments between now and then,
I sense that maybe we’ll come to an end.
The thought of losing you is really overwhelming,
And it leaves me to sit and worry,
But in the end your love is reassuring,
So I know that it’d be okay to keep going.

In the moments between now and then,
I crave for your lips and the taste of your flesh.
Imagining the sound of my name in the form
of a gasping whisper by my ear.
The bending of our bodies and interlocking
Of our fingers as we lose ourselves without fear.

In the moments between now and then,
I know that I will indeed see you again.
But when time doesn’t move fast enough
To please the desire in my heart,
The fires begin to spread.
And though we’re in this together
I feel the miles pulling us apart,
Causing these dreadful thoughts in my head.

Will I really see you again?

I wonder if you know what your words alone make me feel,

You probably don’t have a clue.

However, I won’t bother finding phrases to describe what you cause in me,

I will show you through my actions,

And hope that you sense what I feel for you.

Lonely, lonely people.
We lay awake at night.
Asking ourselves the same question.
Why does no one lay by our side?

Lonely, Lonely people.
Is too late to give it a try?
I just feel like I’ll keep losing,
I need hands that will point to light.

Two hearts in mind,
Two hearts in mind.
You live with two hearts in mind.
One is his, the other is mine.
At times I win, and at times I cry.
You say to me that I should give up,
That it is just a waste of time,
But you honestly know nothing
About this love I hold inside.
Even if this battle never ends,
Know that this want for you
Will surely never die.

The morning sun does not shine
The way it once did.
Without the glow of your eyes,
Mornings remain dim.

Time refuses to move any faster.
It has chosen to slow in pace.
The days without you grow longer,
Delaying our next embrace.

To be honest,
It kills me inside.
This distance hurts,
More now than ever,
Because you’re always on my mind.
Its like we’re stuck in different worlds,
Worlds that don’t coincide.
Sadly, this is where I lie.
In a place where I know of your desires,
But fall short in means of
Making them come alive.

Someday I’ll paint a mural.
I’ll paint it on one of the walls in my room.
It will consist of your favorite colors,
Your favorite things,
Everything that adds up to you.
I’ll let it dry, I’ll let it show.
I’ll look at it at night when
The vibrant colors begin to glow.
And when I finally build up the courage,
When I get past the days that seem to drag on,
I’ll stand on my own two feet and.
I’ll break down that fucking wall.
I’ll even take a picture of the ruins,
Just for your eyes to see,
That the damage I did to the wall,
Was nothing compared to the
Damage you did to me.

You crave for a “love” that others speak of,
Yeah you crave a fantasy.
So you begin your search,
Putting yourself in several situations,
Until you come across the one,
Who can fill in all the spaces.
Slowly, you begin to make it real,
This dream you crave.
You feel as if everything is in your favor,
Like the world is at your mercy,
To heed ever word you say.
But then you start to notice,
How they begin to open once again.
The wind gushes through,
Ripping apart the laughs, the memories, the faces.
And with it, goes the one,
Who filled in all of the spaces.

Eighteen stories high,
And across my field of vision,
I see a blinking red light.
Though it blinks throughout the day,
It only catches my attention at night.
The world is dark then,
So it illuminates the sky.
To me they’re more than red flashes,
They hold importance in life.
Again, its at night,
When I make it back home
And glance at the world outside,
that this blinking red light reminds me
Of how I survived another day.

That I am still alive.

I see you from here,
And my hands extend to you,
But you don’t see me.

I enjoy talking to my walls.
They’re always there for me.
No matter the time,
They’re always free.

As I talk to my walls,
I feel so comfortable in my own skin.
I’m all my walls ever see,
So to them, I am a king.

They say I fucked her over,
That too many things have changed.
That even though they went and told her,
She refuses to obey.

They say she isn’t getting any younger,
That she’s throwing her life away.
That though they went and warned her,
She continues to walk my way.

They say that I’m a murderer,
That I tore her soul to shreds.
That though they tried to save her,
She only craved the warmth of my bed.

They say that I’m the one responsible,
That I’m the one to blame,
That I’m her only savior,
That I should wash away her shame.
But now I sit and wonder,
How do I keep things from being the same,
If every time I touch her,
She says, “Yeah babe, I love the pain.”

Fingers intertwined.
Such warmth between yours and mine.
Losing grip with time.

Words in the wind soar.
From her lips to open ears.
Nothing is secret.

I find it funny,
The way you twist to and fro.
The way your soft lips say yes,
As your proud heart says no.
Its this kind of difference
That makes me feel so very cold.
Cold as I push you against your will,
And cold as you start to ask for more.

Like the leaves in the Fall,
Everything began to change.
Not only into different colors,
But also different shapes.

The roads began to curve,
Skyscrapers began to twist and turn,
My stomach filled with nerves.
Did I suddenly wake up,
To find myself in a different world?

As I walked the newly formed streets,
There was nothing I could recognize.
And with my past now a dream,
I couldn’t help but wonder,
If there was anything here for me,
Among red skies and yellow trees.

I walked a couple more miles,
And quickly grew extremely tired.
Was there really something here for me,
Among twisted faces and crooked teeth?
And then I saw her smile.

So without any hesitation,
I thought that I could bear the change.
That I could bear the change.
That I could bear the change,
If perhaps for just a while,
But only if she promised to stay the same.

So I did in fact feel amazing,
For every moment and every second of it.
And I did in fact feel like shit,
When you told me it was time to stop it.

You see I sill kinda miss you,
After all, my heart thought your words were true.
And at times I still need you,
But apparently, there isn’t much I can do.

So I was right,
But it wasn’t such a sudden truth.
We knew each other in and out,
It wasn’t very hard to see through you.
However it still hurts inside,
Even though I saw it coming.
But I think I’ve suffered enough,
So do not expect to see me crying.

Your lips are moving, I’m sure,
But I’m not the one to hear your voice.
And its not like it has to be that way,
But I guess its your choice.
    
However I don’t see a reason behind it.
Everything’s the same,
Yet you make me feel like
I’ve changed.
I’m always trying, always thinking
Of different ways to keep you grinning.
But I guess that isn’t enough to make you stay
And the silence kills me.
    
You see I don’t care much for pleasure,
Nor do I care much for gifts to treasure.
I just want you to speak.
Tell me everything, just share with me
Your various hopes and dreams.
But you won’t, you simply don’t.
You simply carry out your ambiguous show.
Increasing the distance that drives me crazy,
The distance that burns every inch of my soul.

Oh how it burns.
How it fucking burns.

Tonight, and only for tonight,
I’ll hold you close under the starlight.
Warmly in my arms,
Moving the lone strands of hair behind your ear.
Losing myself in yours eyes,
To show you there’s nothing to fear.
Skin on skin, heart to heart,
I’ll tell you everything you want to hear.
Show me all of your expressions,
Let me listen to all of your voices,
Because after tonight, I will not be near.