Ellen Tricomi
So I learn to deal with it
"the only thing better than being happy," I say, "is a heartbroken teenage girl with a notebook and pen."
Inspiration comes from love of inanimate objects and people and nature. But mostly from the writings of John Knowles (:
Throw me off a bridge
While I fake my own suicide
Dying inside
I'd like to blame you
But there's no blame
Just do it
Stab me
While I escape this town
And never regret it
Fingers fly like doves
You may not know it but
I'm painting
And my canvas is the thick air
Each tone is a color
A deep rich purple
Or a bright yellow
It's not really inspiring
But really I'm trying
To be an artist
I'm running on empty
E V E R Y D A Y
but I keep on going
E V E R Y D A Y
I want to cry
E V E R Y D A Y
but I keep on smiling
E V E R Y D A Y
So much to write about, so little words to write
Fear is that exact moment of hesitation
The uncontrollable trepidation
For the young
Fears are materialstic
For the aged
They're all concealed
For fear of fear itself
Is fearing everything
And those brave men
Fear their own shadows
Warm air kiss my cheek
Cold water pull me under
And share your secrets
To the point
Where no words adequately express pain
To the point
Where no actions properly display change
To the point
Where all is buried; past present and future, far far behind us
To the point
Where the highest of highs are no compensations for the average low
To the point
Where I am broken
To the point
Where you're unspoken
To the point
Where I am on the edge of reality
That is where you'll find me.
And the darkness that lies in truth
Teehee
Mice are so sneaky
Rat-tat
They creep from the cat
Hush, hush
They never say much
But they're everywhere
Running behind the backs
Of all those dumb, fat cats
How can my trust be so far buried in you
You don't even see it
The darkness can only shadow your sins for so long
And you will turn to something much lighter
Like bloody knuckles
And swollen fists
But when the whole wall is torn down
You can only thrust yourself at the corner of your psyche
And at that point, when all the innocent mentality is destroyed
You will rest peacefully
Nervous?
No.
Okay, maybe a little
I'm so nervous
Voices crescendo in my ear
Audible to the fishlike audience
But all that matters is the people around me
We're all a pack of wolves
Out for one thing
victory
How am I supposed to find pride
In the shiny waxy figurines sold in gift shops
The cold marble
Reflects a clear prosthetic feel
And you laugh
*what pride? Where?"
I'm in the nations Capitol
But they're the ones
Faking the accompaniment
Who the hell am I kidding?!
Why you
Just look at yourself
I can't even take it
I held the leash for too long
And honey,
Your in the doghouse
While I'm in the kitchen
Pondering faded memories
Nothing more than dust
Only seen in a ray of sunlight
I totally just forgot I had a dog
Eh, OH WELL!
You caught me
Falling
From the end of my first love
And sure, I guess
You were sweet
But you never can compare
To sparkling eyes
And the warmest of hearts
really
Nothing personal
We didn't have it
I blame all of my embarrassment
To the "one too many"
We both had at your party
You stroked my hair
And kissed my cheek
You stripped me down
To truth and bones
I new it wad happening
And I hated myself for it
Because
I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU
We fell gently onto your bed
Engulfed in waves if cotton sheets
And I kept thinking the entire time
you'll never be him
This crazy old man rambled verses of the bible in the middle of central park
No one cared to listen
He was just a crazy old man
Thin, malnourished, his wrinkles deeply embedded in his paper skin
Gave him the illusion of being wise
Though he had no idea of what he ranted on
The poetic flow of his words caught my ear
And pulled me in
"Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
I pondered a while pacing through the park trails for the meaning of all of this
Night had fallen when i came across the old man again
Cozied up under a newspaper on the bench
His bible was placed under his head
And in my ear
When i realized I had lost all things
I had lost you
Favorite verse hands down! I always wanted to write incorporating this... Its so poetic in itself i feel the poem i had wriiten almost kills it but the verse itself is so beautiful and meaningful. Enjoy! (:
That stroll around town was different this time
My hands were cold
my arms empty
I stumbled to nowhere
With my best friend
Brandy
Tight in my palm
I waked down to the water
that was the only thing bigger than me
And I sat there with my delusional imaginary friends
As my schizophrenia acted up
Dammit Brandy
The cold glass rim
tingled my lips
where yours once did
and then
I was gone
There's only one fix for a broken heart
The recipe is simple and
The effect is lovely
Ingredients
1 Broken heart
3 Bottles of vodka
2 Months of tears
A dash of denial
A sprinkle of sorrow
Procedure
Drink all your tears
Swallow your pride
And choke on your misery
My place here
Is not adequately filled
Like the half empty vase that is my life
The children singing outside my window
Seem less than content
With the bone white clouds
That loom overhead
Everyone who tries to ignore them
And the splintering laughter
Is music to my ears
There's not really much to inspire me
Anymore
But the dust on the rest of this page
Seems to suffice
