You smiled at me; so mind blowing
It always ran inside my head;
Each day and night when we're together,
You never failed me; you gave me that smile
again as I expected.

But your phone beeped once, then twice, then thrice
I saw you smiling but a bit different
My heart sank to the ground,
I damn was jealous.

Your smile was a bit different,
More meaningful and cuter,
You never gave that to me,
Yes, you never did.
You never did.

Later I found out, it was from your girlfriend.

My heart desired a heart that loves,
a heart that cares more than a lust,
It didn't care of a happy start,
My heart's a filthy, selfish heart.

It takes and breaks someone else's dream
It binds the shadows,
It makes you scream,
My heart is wicked, dark and stingy,
My heart's a filthy, selfish heart.

It steals, it breaks, it makes you cry
It destroys relationship,
It makes you die
Just to get what it desires
My heart's a filthy, selfish heart.

Hypnotized by thine eyes
Under your spell I was lured
Amazed by your tempting voice
And in your arms I felt secured;
You caught my heart with your bait,
You made me beg you to stay
And now that you totally caught your prey
Here I fall down on my knees,
Left behind and broken.

Since the day I left you my mind
drifts away each day
and I don't know, I don't understand
'cause my heart and my brain
never stop arguing.
and since the day that I left
your memories always haunt me,
making me remember everything that
we did in every step of our way.

I was too weak and I felt that I'm
no good for you,
I even think I don't deserve to tell you
I love you
'cause with what I did
everyday is a shattered glass
'cause everyday, I know I break your heart.

I wanted to come back to you
but I would be selfish if I do,
'cause I know your not the kind of man
I'm going to marry,
Definitely not you
'cause though I love you,
I don't think that we're meant for each other,
And this is the reason why I left you.

Each day I listen to the
songs in my playlist,
But all I could ever think of is you.

And everytime I eat in my favorite
restaurant, still I'm reminded of you.

Every corner of the street,
even inside my house and in my room,
still memories of you remain.

I've no escape.
Your memory haunts me.
And everyday is like a hell...

I now realized,
I can't really live without you!

I tried to stay and be happy with you
Give back the love and kindness you gave to me,
And give you the happiness you deserve,
But I'm sorry, my heart is now the one talking,
It says I have to let you go.

I don't hate you,
I even appreciate your efforts just to make me stay
And the more I didn't want to hurt you,
'cause you'd be half dead,
I know you will.

I witnessed how you surpassed the challenges,
Just to make others think that they're wrong with
what they think about you,
Everyday you proved to me how much
important I am to you,
But now, my heart says
I've got to let you go.

It just happened,
this admiration intensified,
feelings gets me dissatisfied,
'cause in my mind,
it's always you.

I throw a joke everytime I see you,
And tell you how much I like you
and would want to kiss you,
but since we're friends,
saying it seriously would be awkward.

But this feeling, it makes me choke
as days pass by,
'cause the feelings that need
to be voiced out
Almost filled my throat.

Yes, you're my boyfriend in facebook,
Yet, in reality, you're not.
We held hands, slept and ate together
for a month and a week
when we're in another city,
But you're not serious with it.

It all started in a joke,
But to me, it felt real
and would always remain
real in my heart.

You're like a medicine,
You got me addicted to you,
A medicine that I wouldn't wish to stop,
Though I know I already got overdosed.

But I'll taper myself down,
To not to suffer from withdrawal,
I might forget you then,
I still don't want it to happen.

Each day I wake up with a broken heart,
When I hear your precious voice carried by the wind,
With a sweet melody filled with sounds of joy and happiness
As you sing that sweet song for her.
And when those hazel eyes glare at my side,
But not for me, but for that girl from behind,
Blue skies turn into gray,
Blue skies turn into gray.

The cool wind began to blow,
making our love numb and cold,
when our bodies no longer feel the heat of love,
just pain, loneliness and sorrows.

The dancing moonlight of long ago,
became a burden from the past,
for you and I seek light from it,
And just like the moon, our light didn't long last.

Stabbing pain both hearts have felt,
Dark clouds, lightning and thunder storms,
clashed within a blink of an eye,
music faded, so as love.

Suppressing the truth,
leaving everything to the unconscious mind,
I still lay on the bed by your side,
continued losing my dignity, hopes and dreams,
I stay beside you just to make a living.

Sacrificing my own happiness,
still managing to make a smile,
when I'm with you, I hold back my tears,
just to make you satisfied,
I fulfill your wish.

Killing myself and losing everything,
You clench my neck, I choke to death,
I grasp for air to make a living,
I kill myself to survive.

I walk towards the roads of the darkest paths,
Where light of silver moon is nowhere to find,
With no hopes and dreams and morning light,
Only sorrows and agony, and despair.

Darkness swallows my thoughts and will,
And shadows crawl hiding my strength
I hid between the night and day,
With nothing but dreams taken far away.

My hopes had dried, no rain to fill,
Wounds of broken pieces no chance to heal,
'cause each day my world is engulfed by darkness,
No hopes, no dreams would grow in me.

I cry on my knees
and carry the weight of the world
but suddenly forgets every bad feeling
when I see you smiling at me.

You ran so fast
And disappeared right before my eyes
I searched for you,
But ended up finding nobody.

Your hair is white now
and your skin, it's getting dry and wrinkled
but for me, your still the most beautiful woman,
grandmother.

Your bones are brittle now,
and your joints, they're aching,
but for me, your still the strongest woman,
grandmother.

Your ears can't hear now,
and your eyes, they're no longer 20/20 in visual acuity,
but for me, your still the best listener
and the best person who sees and understands my true feelings,
grandmother.

Yes you're old now,
and your days are almost up,
but for me, you're still young and would eternally live
in my heart forver,
grandmother.

I love you!