stardust and choas
our cups are so full of where we come from
so bright and vast
so destructive and breathing of adventure

expanding collapsing
our own mini histories repeating and refining
until we create something
something bright enough to revolve around

moon scars in my right hand
your royalty in my left
even when you're gone
it feels like you never left

moon scars in my right hand
your hand in mine
even though you've gone
it's like you're with me all the time

the way you make me brave
but yet we're never brave enough
always dancing around the fire
ignited between the two of us

we found three words to replace
the three words we can't yet say
but that embodies the dull ache
that lingers because of our distance

currently content with what we are
though we confide the want of more
the ability to hold and be held
to make new and outshine the old

though our time is nigh
it isn't in the nearest future's nights
so we sit and sigh, lean and lie
waiting for flames to reach new heights

you only come around when you need to lean
and you lean on me with your broken heart
no matter how much i wish i could
i cannot leave you to heal alone

do you tell them all of your love
is it a lie to make me linger
or is it gift to hard for you to give
something you've not really done before

are they your way to kill the time
the way to distract yourself
writing of and for you is mine
a way to remind myself

can you breathe in
can you breathe out
when everything once turned in
becomes completely turned out

can you carry on
without losing what you're worth
gaining value along the way
can you resist the urge to break

i set you free like a good heart should
but you just run to be trapped in someone else
your hand on her back
your steps in time with hers

all i wanted was to share everything with you
ad though you say you want the same
you constantly run away
making these thoughts feel forbidden

when you're in time with her
my name is never on your lips
i just hope that my love still resides in your mind
somewhere hidden from the rest

that when your loyalty isn't the question of heart
that it belongs to mine
that when none of their hearts beckon your name
that you return to mine

so tell me was it my fault
or was it yours

because I said I wasn't sure how to love
didn't think I had ever felt that before
or was it your greedy heart
gluttonous for seconds, thirds and fourths

these attachments to you and your heart
they wring me out and into these thoughts
your interest feels waning and fickle
anything that amuses you seems to steal it away

every heart around you
seems to feel like competition
the best of them and the best of you
bringing out my worst

you're not really mine
my words don't hit your heart quite right
so my mouth fills blood
from biting my tongue

you are always welcome to come find me
not that, to you, I ever was lost
even if you tried to hide
I know just where you reside

I'd knock on the door of my ribcage
from the shelter of my heart you would shout back
"I've gone away, but not astray.
I'm just learning to fight the day."

teeth in the flesh
like toes in the sand
I just never want to let you go

hand on the heart
like a key in a treasure chest
I just want to have all you are

don't run from me
don't run from me

the thought of you is like wild fire
setting alight everything i am
the smoke of poetic inspiration lingers
the fire in my bones a constant reminder

even the ugliest things sound beautiful
when the cadence of you brings them alive
when you inspire their words from my mind
when you pull me from places hard to find

when you hear my words
when you decipher their intention
i wonder what tools you use
i wonder what you will make of me

i hope your eyes see through the same lens
i hope your soul breeds like mine
that my intentions would scare you
that my intentions, in that way, hurt me

worried that my expression are never really mine
worried that once outwardly deciphered they become inwardly lost
though our language is the same our definitions never are
though my hopes remain the same your intentions never change

I’m sorry I let you down
expectations are my life blood
every wound I gave you
return on me it soon should

I just wanted to fuck with your mind
because your body was too far away
you never thought I was of that kind
but of my sun, you only saw a ray

I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry
I need a fix tonight
I need a fix tonight

I’m so sorry
dear boy, so sorry
I need a fix today
I seem to have lost my way

i’m not going to make you stop saying
i love you
just don’t attack
when you don’t get one back

its just that he is closer
than you ever will be
even when your distance
becomes his distance

it’s his gravity
that continues to kill me
but you can hold my hand
through this crash landing

you see he is this thing
like a mirror i see myself
that’s enough to make me follow
it would be enough to make me

returning to the point
he is the shine that caught
the magpie of my heart
only to another is my love a form of art

for him i come easy as a breath
isn't this obvious
please take me serious
like a funeral for a death

to the end i will have appreciated your heart
it built me up when i felt so alone
but if you excuse me, please excuse me
you are just a stepping stone

when you see these beautiful tragedies
and you can watch as the cannabalise
on the souls of the minds of our dreams
full of nothing but blood lust and greed

and as it creeps into your life
in the slow transport of demise
if you stop halting time and holding breath
if you just look and breathe it in and let run away with you
the beauty can kill you so slowly that the agony
the agony is a sick pleasure

when the rise and fall of your chest
feels less than endless
when the nearness of end is so blue
it fills your bones with a fire
the fire you searched to set a light through your whole youth

words scraping at the roof of your mouth
"Let me out! Let me out!"
loud enough, they cannot scream
saying things in your mind

things you wish they could hear
things that might fill them with fear

and the way you put it all together
isn't the way it was supposed to fit

and everything you’ve done
and eveything that has been done
is projected on your thoughts of you

what you were at the start is never anything of matter
your middle and end are never like the start

guess i don’t know you
at least not in the ways they all claim to
remember I always understand you
on a level none of them even want to

not to say you’re special
this isn’t about you and yours
but my mind and how I recall
how I perceive not the raw object yet to be seen

eyes cut to your core
your lies were believed but never unseen
compulsively lying about what’s inside
I feel and felt your truths had no place with me

feeling the need to soothe your aches
turn around aching to cause them
this is the price if making you stay
near me but never as mine

You are the only time I need Shepard's advice
Words from a man hate
Helping me over one I thought I loved  

I see your face and it all hits me like a wall
The pain, the ache
Your voice and that phrase  

So one, two
I'll let you consume me
Three, four
I hear my mind closing that door
Five
You are gone from me  
Until next time  

The next time
That you speak my name
The next time
You want to me to be yours
The next time
That you let me down, again  

You are the only time I need Shepard's advice  

So one, two
I'll let you consume me
Three, four
I hear my mind closing that door
Five You are gone from me
You're just gone  

You're just
A boy who thinks he knows what a man is
You're just
A mind too small for that big heart of yours
You're just
Makin' trouble with mine  

You are the only time I need Shepard's advice  

One, two, three, four, five

Yellow lights
Hesitation in my steps
I know the unseen
It's the tangible that perplexes

Red carpets
Unexpected pedestals rising beneath me
Appreciation long overdue
Inspired wonder

Dusted in magic
Track it in this home
Dirty the floor with your foot steps
Leave you finger prints on these walls

Nothing like where I am
No worries to taunt me
Clouds to catch me
This one in a million life

Let me take your hand
Put yours on the small of my back
I will lead you through the steps
Let me show you how to dance

My music can move your bones
Move with me, move with me

I want you to have it all
I just want you to share it with me
My head rests on your shoulder
Your eyes still on another

My rhythm can heal you soul
Move with me, move with me

I know your reasons
Even when you don't
A broken mind of child
In the charming hands of man

This dance floor is ours
If you could just move with me, move with me

The power in your footsteps
I have this sense of greed
Passion and lust
It's like nature at my feet

I want to rip it from your soul
Darling dearest, let me live inside your skin
Crawling in there
Living in your windows
Pulling on your strings

You're the X on the map
I ache to burn the paper
You're the treasure in the chest
I've long had you spent
You're a beautiful haunting in the shadow of my heart
Until I'm looking
Then you're just heart break without a reality

I can only have you
If you never exist
I can only love you
If you never let me touch you

Like watching the sky weep
You are nature at my feet