I feel my voice escaping
And I've nothing to prevent it
And no, I don't mean figurative
My voice is literally gone

Don't over-sing, kids.
You'll have chronic laryngitis
And you'll sound like you just woke up
By the time the evening comes



Also, I recommend eating your green vegetables.
I'm sure that helps.

bagel or toast
half-and-half or cream
what does it really
matter to me?

soup or salad
coffee or tea
is anything actually
meant to be?

potayto, potahto
tomayto, tomahto
the pot calls the kettle
black as coal

apples and oranges
peas and carrots
maybe, just mix it all up
and we'll see

Oh, Thursday
The Day of Lethargy

When tiredness
Loneliness
And I-can't-get-out-of-bed-liness
All seem to disregard
Its right to be a day

And maybe

Its the laziness
Humidness
And summer-ness
That cause me to do the same
And sleep the day away

Take my hand
Hold it tight
Tell me
Things will be alright
I am scared
You were right
These things
Always were in sight

Future comes
Quick as day
Soon this view
Will fade away
I'll be alone
My price to pay
Far from home
Nothing to say

Cost of breath
Weight of soul
A world beyond
My own control
A once clear mind
Too quickly full
Shining moments
Rendered null

Take my hand
Guide me through
Help me learn
What to do
My growing up
Is overdue
I pray I'll be
As brave as you

one day, I'll fly away from here

through clouds
     over seas
          over deserts
               over trees

and I won't stop when I break the atmosphere

into space
     past mars
         past asteroids
              past stars



                                        and I won't look behind
                                        because the cosmos are blind

Do not look at me with those eyes
Those sorrow-filled eyes that believe those lies
Which come from a Monster, in beauty disguised
Do not look at me with those eyes.

Do not silence me when I speak
Of hope that glimmers through moments bleak
As if my pity is all you seek
Do not silence me when I speak.

I cannot bear to see you broken
For though my heart remains unspoken,
In my dreams, you smile 'til I have woken
I cannot bear to see you broken.

Do not look at me with those eyes
Because in them, I recognize
I love you more than I realized
Please, do not look at me with those eyes.

Friday

Missing a dear friend
She passed away this evening
May she rest in peace


Saturday

This day feels so odd
Not like normal Saturdays
My heart is breaking


Sunday

Time moves so swiftly
All the time spent growing up
Where has it all gone?

America, the beautiful
Home of the brave
Or so it used to be
Before it became
Home of the selfish and lazy

From sea to shining sea
Once a cape of good hope
Until the tidal patterns shifted
And eroded the shores
Of her dignity

Born American, patriot by choice
Is how the saying goes
But what's a patriot really
If patriotism is measured
By the size of one's collection of faded bumper stickers
(As if bumper stickers would revive us)

Land of the pilgrim's pride
But on this trajectory
We'll soon be
Land of the pilgrim's regret
From every mountainside, let ignorance ring

I cringe to think of what we're reduced to
A hollow shell
Made of fashion and fake money
Nothing keeping us truly alive
Each generation weaker than the one before

                           Please, no more.

Someone speak for all that's good
Do what our leaders never could

My country, 'tis of thee I plead,
Awaken, open your eyes, and see.

so many reasons to hate myself
make for so little time to sleep
silent Insomnia frequents my bedside
she echoes each secret I keep

the fears that lurk in my shadow
which plague my subconscious by light
crawl out from their filthy recesses
and haunt me to tears in the night

still, I cannot express aloud
these struggles, however grim,
because to gripe and moan
would not reflect well upon Him

I know I should be fearless
yet, I can't see how I could
but in this season of contradiction
maybe turmoil leads to Good

and if Good awaits me someday
then maybe Better does, as well
and if I trust in Best Of Bests
then Insecurity can go to Hell

so here's to persevering
even when tears cloud my eyes
and pressing on toward self-acceptance
through this heavy (but thinning) veil of lies.

A poem a day
Keeps stagnation away
Or at least,
That's what I'm choosing to say

Miscommunication
Brings such frustration
And with it,
Colors fade to gray

So, from summer's first light
To its final night,
I promise to capture it,
Vivid and bright

In the way I have loved,
In hopes that I might
Record each detail
With the words that I write.

can you feel the beat
of this hollow heart
as it wears itself away

a throbbing ache
and bitter blood
both fuel a silent rage

I am hopeless
I am helpless
I am desperate to be saved

as my self
is turned to ashes
in the power of Your flame

but You give to me
a clean heart
and awake my eyes to see

a newness
that engulfs me
in a depth of purity

no longer
shall I wander through this world
from shame to shame

I am bound
to greater purpose
the Creator knows my name

In a world where good
is not good enough
and perfection is an end
never quite attained

          I am trapped

between living
to love with my whole heart
and toiling
in pursuit of alleged personal gain

To madness
the mind will be driven
that pursues
the impossible feat

          For it is trapped

by a vicious,
insatiable thirst
for an end
which man cannot achieve

I have followed
the paths of these mad minds
for as long
as my memory recalls

          And I'm trapped

between
your increasingly high expectations
and a desire
to abandon it all

I'm falling in love, but I'll never deserve you
for these ignorance-drenched things that I say
My mind grasps at phrases with which to approach you
                     But words only get in my way

I've never met a heart so beautiful
I wish my words could explain
my feelings for you, so deep, so simple
                      But words only get in way
                                                          ^my­

Dearest and truest,
I must tell you this
when you build up walls,
there is so much you miss

Dearest and truest,
I've tried it, you see
I blocked off the world
from the monsters in me

But oh, loveliest stranger,
you can't fool your heart
and even small paper tigers
will rip you apart

Dearest and truest,
Let go of your chains
you'll see when you do
only the best of you remains

i am realizing

how our time is fleeting
our days are ending
we are all dying

but i am realizing

that our time is not real
our days never were
only bodies die

i am recognizing

how we feel so physical
our trust is in the tangible
which turns to dust

but i am recognizing

that the physical is an illusion
the tangible is not real
and we are simply souls

     trapped in a matrix
     soon to be freed

a dirty bus
a faded road
a song that everybody knows

a text hello
a dying phone
a daydream of distant snow

a cloudless sky
a phosphate mine
an estimated travel time

an orange sunset
a melody line
a moment that’s completely mine

I was crying
at that table
Tears were falling
on this page

Tears of lonely
desperation
Such, no ten-point scale
could gauge

I couldn't bear
the thoughts inside me
I thought I
would go insane

I couldn't find them
I couldn't find the words
To write away
the pain

     but I've done it now, so read it well
     because I finally broke your spell

How I loved you,
but I lost you
then I found
somebody new

and I tried him
but I likened
all his words and ways
to you

I enjoyed him
but not really
though he did
everything right

It was your kiss
that I longed for
as my lips told his
goodnight

When I left him
you came running
and for once
you held me true

And I honestly believed
that all I'd ever need
was
you

     but it lasted until mid July
     when you lacked the dignity to tell me why

You left me
in a hurry
but I should have known
you would

Because, dang,
those college girls
will give you things
I never could

     I was raised to be a lady
     not a lady of the night
    
But I wish you well
and hope
that all your wildest dreams
come true

And bless the heart
of each poor girl
who has to deal
with you

It is evil,
It deceives you,
It will force you to believe
that you’re inferior,
you are helpless,
you need direction.

It will say,
“If you obey,
then ever lovely you will stay,
never aging,
never ugly,
all-beloved.”

You will listen
to Its whispers;
Its sly treason, you won’t see,
and your spirit:
it will topple,
it will drown

Because It will bruise you,
It will use you,
and constantly confuse you
It will tell you
that It’s your master,
so bow down.

It will blind you,
It will bind you,
It will make sure to remind you
that you are nothing,
you are worthless,
you are small.

It will crush you,
It will hush you,
and It will try to rush you
to do the things
that render It
so strong.

And you’ll feel cheated
and defeated,
but still, you cannot see It
through Its makeup
for Its corruption
and Its lies.

But there is hope yet,
Can you hear it?
Can you hear the distant Voice:
“You don’t need It,
you are perfect,
you are Mine.”

From that Voice
there comes a choice:
To remain enslaved, or to rejoice
in purity
in meaning
in true love.

What will you choose?
What will you lose?
Do you recognize Its ruse?
Will you accept
the Invitation
from above?

You don't know what you started
My heart first felt love because of you
Your kindness was so refreshing
Your joy was so sweet
And I never told you
that for over a year
no matter how I tried
my thoughts would always wander
to find
you

but you never knew.

I dreamed of your dark eyes
My heart melted at your bright smile
Your laugh made me dizzy
Your passions were so beautiful
And I loved you

but you never knew.

And when your college days are through
Should I ever again see you
Though my heart still wonders
if dreams really come true

You'll never know

that you never knew

that I was so
in love
with
you.