Blinding light. Warmth. A smile.
I could feel you every moment,
Taste the salty sweetness of
Your skin.
The sun shined down,
But we were brighter,
Living in our own world,
Reckless in how easily we trusted,
Fell, spilled our secrets in a day.

Now the sun has set.
I know it will rise again,
But the empty room whispers painfully-
We burned out too soon.

I lie down tonight
knowing I won't sleep.
It's been months, and still
I'm kept up
with an aching stomach and too many thoughts
running through my mind.

I remember June, when we met,
I couldn't sleep then either.
Any second away from you
left me longing.
So we would hold on,
long talks until dawn,
Fingers tracing, memorizing faces
with touch, scent, taste. Embracing
and knowing I'd have to leave all too soon,
We would stay awake until the sunrise
forced our eyes shut.

Now
I still feel you with me,
Always haunting.
Memories of dreams:
a wedding never to be,
a pretend family

You reached out your hand
And so gently, wrapped it around mine.
The darkness . . .
The darkness was there,
But as he fell asleep
You remined me: I am not alone.

I won't give in;
I will not break.
I will fight to the end
With all that it takes.
I may struggle,
but I will not fall,
Because I'm here,
Standing alone,
Strong and tall.

Don't look at me, don't see me,
I might break.  If I whisper or scream
Don't hear me; don't listen.
I need to hide, run away,
Before I fall any deeper and break.

Don't believe me, don't trust.
Don't rely on the words I say.
I won't be strong; I'll  just give in
To this desire to run away,

Because the world is too much,
And I don't know if I'm enough.
I can scream, I can breathe,
I can rip out my hair,
But every minute that passes
I grow weak,
Give in to this dreamless sleep,
Stop fighting, go numb, and break.

It's a battle, just breathing,
Waking up each morning.
Being strong, being open,
Letting myself feel vulnerable.

So if I seem to be breaking,
And giving in to the masks  I paint,
Know that I couldn't take it
Without giving up my mind and going insane.

Because the world is too much,
And I don't know if I'm enough.
I can scream, I can breathe,
I can rip out my hair,
But every minute that passes
I grow weak,
Give in to this dreamless sleep,
Stop fighting, go numb, and break.

Can I give in?
Can I say it's too much?
Can I hide from the world,
And find somewhere to run?

Can I forget
Why I'm too tired to be,
And just give in
To the sleep that calls me?

My world is crashing down so slowly
And I've forgotten who I am.
I just watch the pieces crumble eternally,
Wondering when it all will end.

Where is the strength
I once found I had?
Where is the beauty
I once saw in the land?

Why can't I forget
All that used to be,
And just give in
To the sleep that calls me?

My world is crashing down so slowly
And I can't find truth, or love, or beauty.
So I watch the pieces crumble forever
Wondering what has happened, to make it fall apart.

The life I once had, has all but left me.
The dreams I once cherished, have crumbled to ash.
So as I wait for the future, I just want to surrender;
Find a place I can rest
And somewhere to run.

The Darkness grows inside of me,
And calls to my soul.
It begs me to fly to it
And lose my control.
It temps me and teases;
Tortures me so sweet,
But I won't give in to it.
I will not fall.

The freedom.
The dreaming.
The pain deep inside.
This emptiness pulls me,
But I know I must hide.

I fall to my knees now;
Struggle to stand up
Because I know if I give in
I won't come back.
The shadows deep inside
Beg me and plead,
But I turn away so that I
Will not fall.

The desire.
The Fire.
The pain deep inside.
It burns me and calls to me,
But I know I must hide

And I want to give in.
I want to be free.
The darkness allures and tempts me.

You never stop running;
Never slow down.
You’ve learned that silence
Is the screeching of sound.
The days keep changing,
But it all bleeds to one,
As you’ve found that sleep
Only wastes time.
The stress you feel
Just means your alive.
That shortness of breath
Helps you survive.
So you move through the world
Blind to it’s beauty,
For you’ve learned things are worthless
Unless they are moving.