I've been sitting this room for hours. Entranced by the sound.
The sound of his voice, his dance, his rhythm. I cant explain it.
I want hours in a room. A room with where time stands still and never speaks a word.
I cant move. I can only be here.
Here where I am. I don't want this to stop.
They should know this feeling. But they wont.
They will never know what this feels like. This ecstasy. Existentialism.
It's here. I know.
You wont break me. This is how it begins.
We live
in the
world, but
not of
the world.
i've heard that saying
many times.
and from experience
i do enjoy a sizable "D"
once in a while.
sometimes
you need a little excitement.
but i don't understand
why people are so
impressed.
you are just greater
than you
used to be.
bigger is always not better.
i prefer you small
and slender,
so my hand
can handle
the rate of
friction.
where when time
is on the
clock,
i know i can finish
you in time.
every line, of every written piece of work starts with you.
just because you are first
and larger than your
following letters,
does not give you the right
to always be present.
you dictate much more
than a person, place,
or thing.
Cereal was poured.
Milk spilt.
Toast crisp with golden opportunity.
I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
I wish I never burned you with chemicals
or tamed you straight.
It is wrong of me to grown at you every time I must look presentable.
It is only natural when I yell
as you fight back the comb.
And you have your revenge as you
break the teeth and handle.
I'm sorry I threaten to cut you off daily
and very sorry when I accidentally do.
That black ponytail holder has become a miracle for me,
but a nightmare for you.
It's just that you frustrate me.
I will give you more baths
as you fragile body allows.
And I will try not to hide you under hair that is not mine to have.
Just give me time.
I do not understand why you aren't welcome.
Yes, you might be a little rambunctious,
but what fun is life without it?
Your curls and naps aren't something I should hide.
You are a piece of me I'll embrace.
Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior.
You have always loved me.
when life gives you
lemons, you paint
that shit
gold.
i am worth something,
not dollars or gold
euros or marble.
to be wrapped around
in some mangled mess of words.
i comfort you when you cry
and even when you don't.
when i go wrong you say
"things will be better,"
when he goes wrong
you rush to his side
like prince charming to the rescue.
i don't understand
and maybe i never will.
now i know not to believe.
not in the trees,
or in the air i breathe,
but in you.

