Butterfly  

1972 -   

Poems

Mar 24

My feet are planted-
but not permantly.

Being around you-
has made me see.

There's a storm inside me-
wanting to let go.

The things you say-
but the things you show.

Doubt and furry come quite fast-
being with you will not last.

The vibe that I get from you-
doesn't make me happy, but blue.

Damaged and broken is where I've been-
looking for peace, going out on a limb.

From inside me a warm light grows-
feelling His primise, what He says shows.

Nov 22, 2012

Moments passed, we couldnt let go.
Being with you, is a feeling to know.

Wrapped in your arms, tight is your grasp.
My heart beats faster, breaths come in gasps.

Taking our time, enoying the ride.
Seeing the sights, all is on the upside.

Trusting your soul, compleley free to share.
Deep is the passion, true is the care.

Excited to see the glow of each new day.
My feelings for you, I wish to convey.

Words seem small for the heartstrings Ive grown.
My love for you can only be shown.

Nov 22, 2012

Not wanting to live
Not wanting to die

I lay around
Do nothing but cry

My heart is broken
Nothing is bright

Every day I look
forward to the darkness of night

Living like this
Is harder each day

Theres got be be more
A better way

Sep 5, 2012

i hurt and im not amused
the things you said
the way you used



decisions made are written in stone
my heart isnt for you
to be tossed then thrown

  

breaking away and setting you free
to go to another
is what i want for me



backing down and reliving the past
the hole you dug
became very vast



trial and error ive lived so far
all it got for me
are these massive scars



wasted time and heartfelt pain
the last thing i want
is a ball and chain



so, alone is how i want to live
with this poem
your freedom i give

Jan 25, 2011

Moments passed, we couldnt let go.
Being with you, is a feeling to know.

Wrapped in your arms, tight is your grasp.
My heart beats faster, breaths come in gasps.

Taking our time, enoying the ride.
Seeing the sights, all is on the upside.

Trusting your soul, compleley free to share.
Deep is the passion, true is the care.

Excited to see the glow of each new day.
My feelings for you, I wish to convey.

Words seem small for the heartstrings Ive grown.
My love for you can only be shown.

Jan 25, 2011

When I think of you
i wouldnt have guessed this on a bet.
The memories that come to me
are of when we met.
Innocently you came
right thru the door.
You caught my attention
to my very core.
The times we have spent
in time of short amount.
Happiness comes and flows
too many smiles to count.
You send a peace
straight through my soul.
This passion I feel
makes me whole.
Time means nothing
when I am by your side.
Life with you is
a life that is pied.
Colors as bright
as the feelings we share.
Deep and true is
this love so rare.
Dare we mention
this love we both know.
We go along with it
and watch it grow.
The excitement that spreads
between us so true.
Grows every moment
from my point of view.

Jan 25, 2011

When I think of you
i get all wet.
The memories that come to me
are of when we met.
Innocently you came
right thru the door.
You caught my attention
to my very core.
The times we have spent
in time of short amount.
Happiness comes and flows
too many smiles to count.
You send a peace
straight through my soul.
This passion I feel
makes me whole.
Time means nothing
when I am by your side.
Life with you is
a life that is pied.
Colors as bright
as the feelings we share.
Deep and true is
this love so rare.
Dare we mention
this love we both know.
We go along with it
and watch it grow.
The excitement that spreads
between us so true.
Grows every moment
from my point of view.

Jan 5, 2011

im turning in circles
you know what i mean
the things you do
are unclean
anger overcomes me
i just want to scream
my heart breaks for the you you used to be
break those bonds and set yourself free
life comes at you~fast as a light
the road you are choosing
just isnt right
sitting here by you
breathing the same air
knowing your choices just doesnt seem fair
here and now the decisions youve made
from crimes commited
debts unpaid
change your mind
dont take that path
for if you do
all you will see is wrath

Dec 18, 2010

Your life's cut short- We sure had a lot of fun
When I think of you- I see the rising sun

Dynamic noise- The bass breaks the ground
Dance all night- Always ready for another round

Glitter is flowing- Like dust in the air
We were creatures of the night-We would go anywhere

As the crowds were forming- The lines were quite long
Of all the things we were doing- Nothing was wrong

Bright colors and lights filled each room-
We watched each other as our night began to bloom

Darkened corners- Upon the fluffy couches we'd fall
Our bodies outstretched- Our legs in a sprawl

The music flowing thru our veins- Me Pixie Stix- You Kandy Kanes
Oh the fond memories Ill remember all of my days- The fun times we had in the height of our craze!

The twists and turns our lives have brought us thru- We both have come out on top, and we now have clear view

Oct 31, 2010

masking the true
demons within-

hiding the pain
feeling your sin-

surreal are days
when crimes commited-

pain and anguish
is undue and unfitted-

wrath and fury
is yet to come-

pay backs a bitch
i assure you...no fun-

cover up
and try to hide-

do as you wish
all your teachings aside-

the words you said
many lessons taught-

look where you are now
innocence cant be bought-

Oct 31, 2010

a cry escapes me
from my lips it came~

fear consumes me
in torture theres no real pain~

sins against those
who have loved you the most~

your pride is destroyed
the pride you used to boast~

wounds without blood
in our hearts may never heal~

your actions and thoughts
within your fate you seal~

shame and disgust
you bring upon us all~

change your ways
we dont deserve to endure your upcoming fall.

Sep 20, 2010

Sick, twisted, coming undone
Tangled, scarred, trying to outrun.

Screaming, shouting, always a fight
Running, hiding, youve blinded my sight.

Crying, begging, pleading NO MORE
Gnashing, cutting, bleeding with gore.

Searching, praying, for a world thats new
Sawing, cutting, breaking ties with you.

Sep 19, 2010

If I say yes- do you know what that means?
Ill own your body, your soul and the blood in your veins.
With my answer- to me you will owe-
Being mine, my possession you will not be my foe.
The laughter we share- the love will be bold
The stories will be endless as they unfold.
The voices we hear in the darkest of night-
Will be ours as our passion and love grows beautiful and bright.
Tomorrow- my love- my hand you shall hold-
Arms around mine, together we will grow old.
Master of mine, I own you free and clear-
I shall treasure you and keep you in good cheer.

Aug 28, 2010

I write to heal and I bleed my pen
The words flow thru me and not out my skin
Razors and blades dont forget the knives too
I remember the times the only color I saw was blue
Life has gone in a circle and has very much calmed down
No longer the need to run, hide or skip town
Forgiving myself was the hardest to do
He gave me hope and helped me break through
Sleep comes so easy and the nights arent so long
I do things the right way and Im not doing the wrong
My past has been coverd, my past has been cleaned
Thank you Lord for helping my family who intervened
When the light in my soul was all but snuffed out
I had to make changes without a doubt
Thankful for seeing what went wrong
Having the sight to sing a new song
The path that leads me is straight and narrow
I am happy now and free as a sparrow
Decisions come smooth
Living right can soothe
If you make mistakes
In your dreams are miserable snakes.

Aug 28, 2010

You jump you run and climb up through the air
You swipe you grab at things as if you were a little bear
You follow every move I make, even on the potty
You attack the flying bugs as if you were a Don Gotti.

My little love you are so sweet
Unless you are attacking my feet
You have an attitude like no other
I am so thankful to be your mother.

I call you Squish
You are more than any wish
That I could have prayed
You have got to be spayed.

My boys found this tiny little kitten on the side of the road. She won my heart the very moment I saw her. She knew at the very same moment that she had found her new mommy. I lost my Maine Coon right around the same time Squish came along, she totally helped me get through those hard times after putting him to sleep.
Aug 27, 2010

My skin is covered with colors so bright
You can see me like a beacon in the night.

When I pass by, heads twist and turn
The comments made arent meant to concern.

My life has changed, my flesh has too
I think of my faith and all holds true.

After the crash that my life went through
The needles went in to color me blue.

Creating art that last forever
Is nothing small, but quite an endevor.

The time put in to make this mine
Watch me as I change, everything is fine.

As years go by and the memories fade
I look at my back and see all that I paid.

A slave to the meaning that this gave to me
The artists gun has set me free.

Shallow no more is my life I live
I owe all to Him and this is what I give.

Deep in my heart this love that still grows
My Savior, my friend is the one I chose.

Aug 22, 2010

My body it aches-
My muscles sore-
You kicked me in the face-
I fall to the floor-
Your anger, it mounts-
Your fist is sound-
You dont stop-
Until my body is on the ground-
I hear you coming-
I rush to hide-
Im a little too late-
Ive already died-
My lifeless body-
In the ground it lays-
You find your next victim-
In a matter of days-
Nothing will stop you-
The monster you are-
To inflict pain-
You will go far-

Aug 18, 2010

The nightmares come.
The dreams they go,
Thru my mind and heart they flow.
Making sense of what's to come,
I can not believe what you have done.
Seeing you behind those eyes,
I still remember all of your lies.
Shaken up and broken down,
You put a terror into this town.
I miss the thought of what I felt,
I hurt for her and the cards she's been delt.
Not only for her but me as well,
You put so many thru a certain hell.
The call you made just a day before,
Were you coming for me to get your score?
The nightmares they come,
The dreams they go.
For in my mind,
My heart you froze.
Unlocked passion,
Tortured soul,
What were you thinking,
Do you even know?
You had my heart,
In a way you still do.
I can let noone else in,
Only a few.
Lessons learned.
Advice is found.
The cuffs you wear will abound.
Life you will serve.
And so will she.
The poor little girl,
She will never be free.

Aug 18, 2010

Downward spiral is how I feel
None of my wounds will ever heal
Out of control and out of my head
Did you even hear what I said?
Marked for a life to be filled with strife
This makes me want to sharpen my knife
But cuts wont fix whats going on in me
I need my wings so I can be free
Trouble that is doubled and making me insane
Nothing I can do to ease the pain
Guilt and fury blinds my sight
In my heart I know this isnt right

a sad little creature I was.
Aug 18, 2010

You watched me suffer
You watched me drown
The pain was endless
Even after I left town
My mind wasnt clear
My thoughts were nothing but fear
The things I did were because you were bendless
Unseen torture with searing heat
In my heart was nothing but defeat
No where to go
No where to hide
In my soul I wish I had died
The trials were endless
The pain seemed unending
After so long
I saw it bending
Back toward me
My life became free
Now I give it to Him
He was my only true friend
The lessons I learned
Because I was so burned
Are lessons I treasure
Beyond any measure
Thoughtful cautious and now very clean
I understand now what I was supposed to have seen
Many years ago I wish I had known
Thank God I know now befor my chance was blown

after 8 years of horrible abuse...i broke free.
 
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