Breathing Ice
And I'm twenty
I used to write because I thought
it would make me feel better
It doesn't
I write because I think maybe it can change something..
It never does
But I write.
I'm so happy I'm sad and I'm so happy I
wanna hit someone
I love you so much that I wanna scream
at the top of my fucking lungs and I love you so much I
wanna hide under the smallest grain of salt
i went to see him at work today.
Because i missed him and
Because he was sick and just
Because.
he gave me apple juice. i gave him Tylenol.
we kissed in the living room when
no one was watching. he tasted like
Green apples and
Green tea and
Summer.
he had that look in his eyes.
sometimes you just know, you know?
I know you have feather eyelashes and that your scars make me want you and
crave you but I don't love
You. I can't love you. I can't love
someone capable of doing all of this
to me
But WHAT CAN I DO when I could die in your arms and go straight to heaven
Or hell
I don't care
Love is stupid and so are you
You don't see what you have and you don't see the sun or the fact that I'm wearing flats even though it's still
cold outside.
I wish I could throw you away but our fingers are attached. Finger centipede. You are sick but I am even more
I hate you
I cry because I cry because I
don't have a valid reason to cry anymore.
I
cried I
the day cried
you left me the day
and it broke I you left me
my heart cried and it broke
the day my heart
you left me
and it broke
my heart COME
I
I cried
cried the day
the day you left me
you left me and it broke
and it broke I my heart I
my heart cried cried
the day the day
you left me you left me
and it broke and it broke
my heart my heart
I
cried
the day
you left me I BACK
and it broke I cried
my heart cried the day
the day you left me
you left me and it broke
and it broke my heart
my heart
I have a long night ahead of me and you're exactly 313.45 miles
away from my bed tonight.
I looked it up.
I straightened my hair and changed my clothes twice and brushed my teeth even
Though I didn't go out at all
I wish I could have slept in your dreams last night, because I had a nightmare.
I wish you'd answer my texts faster
Don't you miss my smile, my lashes, my skin? (me)?
I miss tickling your knees and singing for you.
I have a surprise for you when you get
back. It's not much but just, you know, come faster please.
Okay, so
text me back as soon as you get this.
Even if it's late. I'll wait.
I ndependant of you and of your
N ever ending drama and
D emands. I wanted to keep you happy and
I did all I could to hear you smile. I can't
F ucking believe I let you make me
F ucking cry
E very night. I know you'll never
R emember me as the girl who taught you
E ternity and showed you the skies.
N ot that I care. Not anymore.
T ogether (our together) is in the trashcan now.
you say you care but
what if you
Don't.
Notice how
people who use the shuffle
option on their iPods
keep on pressing
'Next'.
Your coffee always has way
too much sugar in it and you
think too much
and somehow you scare
Me
You told me once that you've never loved
anyone like you love me. You also told me
that you woud love me forever and never
(ever) leave my life. That you were here
to stay. You
said I looked
like an angel,
like an Arabian princess,
Angelina Jolie-esque and
simply eatable. Your love
for me showed all over
this perfect
face of yours,
you know...
And though
my poor eyes,
heart, and
hands belie-
ved every eve-
ry lie, every
fucking dirty
lie, I know
better now. UCK YOU
.
Oh yeah. You were
all I ever wanted...
Huh. With your too
sweet lips
and your
painted lies.
Damn, you
were so dra-
matic about
everything
(all the fuck-
ing time too)
but the way
your fingers
played with
my hair and
the way you
said I love
you was too good,
too damn fucking good.
But you know what?? DON'T
Es-tu capable de briser la Lune ?
Es-tu capable d'éteindre le Soleil ?
D'obliger le jour de dormir,
De pousser la nuit au réveil ?
Es-tu capable d'enterrer les étoiles ?
Es-tu capable de faire voler les fleurs ?
Aux oiseaux, de faire oublier le chant,
Des nuages, faire arrêter les pleurs ?
Es-tu capable de rendre la Terre plate ?
Es-tu capable de faire tomber le ciel ?
Peux-tu amputer les papillons,
Et donner aux ours les ailes ?
Es-tu capable de rendre la vie ?
Es-tu capable de faire cesser les guerres ?
Peux-tu avaler les océans ?
Peux-tu balayer les déserts ?
Si, ces tâches toutes simples,
Tu ne peux exécuter,
Comment crois-tu pouvoir
Ma flamme éteindre, et mon amour tuer ?
I need to get some sleep. But what
I
really need right now is to
have
one more cigarette because you've
had
your way this time. (You always have your
way with everything). But enough is
enough.
Oh no, you weren't my
lullaby singer, my troubadour, but
in my darkest nights I
knew I could count on you
always.
Always there with your eager
words (eager hands), with your
incessant desire for more,
(always more) and that's when I
knew
you were the one I needed.
The way you were crushing
on other meaningless girls was
something
I could easily overlook.
You were here and it
was all that mattered to me.
And the sour feeling in my heart
was
not important (right?) But then,
why are you the world to me, when
I am only one tiny star in the
constellation of your life? In my bed,
at night, (every night), I wish I am
wrong.
Oh yes (Oh no) cut cut cut Oh yes (Oh no) I can see the blood now
It's so funny what you told me. Something like
you want to leave me and that I was (?whatwasit?).
Red on white tiles. I drop the blade, whereisit?, i can't see my arm anymore
.
.
why don't you care
why don't you see
the way I cut
I wish I could sleep
Forget the hurt
The PAIN
Drown in the dark
I wish I could sleep
And forget your face
I wish I could
Close my eyes and
Sleep for a minute
Or forever
Steal my life hour after hour
And hide from this agony
I wish I could sleep
To find you in my dreams
Or even in my nightmares
I wish I could sleep
To be with you
Just once more
I just read the email you sent me. The one in
which you called me a slut and told me that my dad was right
all along.
.
.
I'm scared of tonight's nightmares.
And we did.
I swear we did.
I showered in your scent this morning while you
read to me my own work telling me I was foolish to
write such dark poetry. That you would love only me
forever
And we did.
We made love and had long dialogues
like grown-ups. Talking about politics and
global warming and my left big toe and your
fantastic way of explaining what our romance
means
God, we did. I could
fucking swear we did.
.but.
My body is naked from the knees upwards
and my imagination runs wild, even faster than
your thrusting hips and your spanking hand and
ugly words. My soul is drunk tonight and I wish it
sobered up
never
I wore pink today and also the brown shoes you
always make fun of.
My lashes were curled and dry for once. I thought you would
kiss me and hold me and make me feel pretty. I thought it was
going to be a
(perfect) good
day.
.
.
My pillow begs to differ
She's walking Poetry
With her skin glowing and her eyes sparkling and her weird feet
She's a girl who likes her coffee cold
Who loves grass, the green green kind
Who believes in Forever and in Far Far Away
With candy always stuck in her teeth
She's a melody in the air
Her nose is too big and her hair isn't right
She smiles for no particular reason with her crooked teeth
And throws her head back when she laughs
.
.
.
Love Hates Her
no I don't want to
talk right now
I
don't want to hear
your load of crap
I coudn't care less
about the fact
that you
hate
everything I do
these days
no I'm not going to
apoligize and
I don't feel like crying
and saying I love only
you ... so just leave me fucking alone, will you?
http://www.stfu.se/
