Breathing Ice  

1991 -   
I'm a girl
And I'm twenty
I used to write because I thought
it would make me feel better
It doesn't
I write because I think maybe it can change something..
It never does

But I write.

Poems

May 23, 2011

I'm so happy I'm sad and I'm so happy I
wanna hit someone
I love you so much that I wanna scream
at the top of my fucking lungs and I love you so much I
wanna hide under the smallest grain of salt

May 16, 2011

i went to see him at work today.
Because i missed him and
Because he was sick and just
Because.
he gave me apple juice. i gave him Tylenol. 

we kissed in the living room when
no one was watching. he tasted like
Green apples and
Green tea and
Summer.
he had that look in his eyes. 

sometimes you just know, you know?

Mar 29, 2011

I know you have feather eyelashes and that your scars make me want you and
crave you but I don't love
You. I can't love you. I can't love
someone capable of doing all of this
to me

But WHAT CAN I DO when I could die in your arms and go straight to heaven
Or hell
I don't care 
Love is stupid and so are you
You don't see what you have and you don't see the sun or the fact that I'm wearing flats even though it's still
cold outside. 

I wish I could throw you away but our fingers are attached. Finger centipede. You are sick but I am even more

I hate you

Mar 23, 2011

I cry because I cry because I 
don't have a valid reason to cry anymore.

Dec 28, 2010

I                                                                ­                              
                  cried                                      ­                                                                 ­           I                
                the day                                                              ­                                             cried
             you left me                                                               ­                                    the day
             and it broke                                     I                                                        you left me
               my  heart                                     cried                                                  and it broke
                                                             ­        the day                                                  my heart
                                                             ­     you left me
                                                             ­     and it broke                                        
                                                             ­        my  heart                                                        ­                                                                 ­  COME
                                                             ­         
                                                             ­                                                        I
                       I                                                                ­                         cried
                  cried                                      ­                                             the day
                the day                                                              ­               you left me
             you left me                                                               ­        and it broke
             and it broke                                        I                   ­            my heart                             I
               my  heart                                        cried           ­                                                          cried
                                                             ­           the day                                                              ­  the day
                                                             ­        you left me                                                        you left me
                                                             ­        and it broke                                                       and it broke
                                                             ­           my  heart                                             ­              my heart

                       I
                  cried
                the day                                                              ­                            
             you left me                                                               ­                              I                                                                ­                BACK
             and it broke                                        I                   ­                            cried    
               my  heart                                        cried           ­                            the day
                                                             ­           the day                                 you left me
                                                             ­        you left me                           and it broke
                                                             ­        and it broke                             my heart              
                                                             ­           my  heart

Unfortunately you can't read this properly on you phone. I tried and the whole effect was gone.
Dec 25, 2010

I have a long night ahead of me and you're exactly 313.45 miles 
away from my bed tonight.    
I looked it up. 
I straightened my hair and changed my clothes twice and brushed my teeth even
Though I didn't go out at all
I wish I could have slept in your dreams last night, because I had a nightmare. 
I wish you'd answer my texts faster
Don't you miss my smile, my lashes, my skin? (me)?
I miss tickling your knees and singing for you. 
I have a surprise for you when you get
back. It's not much but just, you know, come faster please. 
Okay, so 
text me back as soon as you get this.
Even if it's late. I'll wait.

Dec 4, 2010

I ndependant of you and of your
N ever ending drama and
D emands. I wanted to keep you happy and 
I did all I could to hear you smile. I can't 
F ucking believe I let you make me
F ucking cry
E very night. I know you'll never
R emember me as the girl who taught you
E ternity and showed you the skies. 
N ot that I care. Not anymore. 
T ogether (our together) is in the trashcan now.

Nov 25, 2010

you say you care but
what if you
                                                         Don't.

Notice how
people who use the shuffle
option on their iPods 
keep on pressing
                                                          'Next'.

Your coffee always has way 
too much sugar in it and you
think too much
and somehow you scare  
                                                            Me

Nov 22, 2010

You told me once  that you've  never loved
anyone like you love me. You also  told me
that you woud love me forever and   never
(ever) leave my life.  That   you were   here  
to  stay.  You  
said I looked
like an angel,
like  an    Arabian   princess,
Angelina   Jolie-esque  and  
simply  eatable.  Your love
for    me   showed   all  over
this   perfect
face of yours,
you   know...
And   though
my poor eyes,
heart,    and
hands    belie-
ved every eve-
ry lie,    every  
fucking   dirty
lie,    I   know
better    now.                             UCK YOU

Oct 31, 2010

.




Oh yeah. You  were
all I ever wanted...
Huh.  With your too
sweet     lips
and    your    
painted lies.
Damn,   you
were so dra-
matic about
everything
(all the fuck-
ing time too)
but the way
   your fingers    
played with
my hair and
the way you
said I   love
you    was   too  good,  
too damn fucking good.
                                                 But   you   know    what??                                 DON'T

Oct 30, 2010

Es-tu capable de briser la Lune ?
Es-tu capable d'éteindre le Soleil ?
D'obliger le jour de dormir,
De pousser la nuit au réveil ?

Es-tu capable d'enterrer les étoiles ?
Es-tu capable de faire voler les fleurs ?
Aux oiseaux, de faire oublier le chant,
Des nuages, faire arrêter les pleurs ?

Es-tu capable de rendre la Terre plate ?
Es-tu capable de faire tomber le ciel ?
Peux-tu amputer les papillons,
Et donner aux ours les ailes ?

Es-tu capable de rendre la vie ?
Es-tu capable de faire cesser les guerres ?
Peux-tu avaler les océans ?
Peux-tu balayer les déserts ?

Si, ces tâches toutes simples,
Tu ne peux exécuter,
Comment crois-tu pouvoir
Ma flamme éteindre, et mon amour tuer ?

Oct 24, 2010

I need to get some                                   sleep. But what
                                                  
                                                       I


really need right                                           now is to
                                                  
                                                     have


one more cigarette                                      because you've
                                                  
                                                       had


your way this time.                                          (You  always have your
way with everything).                                     But enough is
                                                  
                                                        enou­gh.

Oct 22, 2010

Oh no, you weren't my
lullaby singer, my troubadour, but
in my darkest nights I
knew I could  count on you
                                                             ­                                           always.


Always there with your eager
words (eager hands), with your
incessant desire for more,
(always more) and that's when I
                                                             ­                                            knew


you were the one I needed.
The way you were crushing
on other meaningless girls was
                                                             ­                                          something


I could easily overlook.
You were here and it
was all that mattered to me.
And the sour feeling in my heart
                                                             ­                                            was


not important (right?) But then,
why are you the world to me, when
I am only one tiny star in the
constellation of your life? In my bed,
at night, (every night), I wish I am
                                                             ­                                           wrong.

Oct 16, 2010

Oh yes (Oh no) cut cut cut Oh yes (Oh no) I can see the blood now
It's so funny what you told me. Something like
you want to leave me and that I was (?whatwasit?).
Red on white tiles. I drop the blade, whereisit?, i can't see my arm anymore
.
.
why don't you care
why don't you see
the way I cut

Oct 9, 2010

I wish I could sleep
Forget the hurt
The PAIN
Drown in the dark
I wish I could sleep
And forget your face
I wish I could
Close my eyes and
Sleep for a minute
Or forever
Steal my life hour after hour
And hide from this agony
I wish I could sleep
To find you in my dreams
Or even in my nightmares
I wish I could sleep
To be with you
Just once more

Oct 9, 2010

I just read the email you sent me. The one in
which you called me a slut and told me that my dad was right
all along.
.
.
I'm scared of tonight's nightmares.

Oct 5, 2010

And we did.
     I swear we did.
          I showered in your scent this morning while you
              read to me my own work telling me I was foolish to
                 write such dark poetry. That you would love only me
                                                             ­                                                                 ­           forever




And we did.
   We made love and had long dialogues
       like grown-ups. Talking about politics and
           global warming and my left big toe and your
              fantastic way of explaining what our romance
                                                             ­                                                                means




God, we did. I could  
    fucking swear we did.
                   .but.
        My body is naked from the knees upwards
            and my imagination runs wild, even faster than
               your thrusting hips and your spanking hand and
                      ugly words. My soul is drunk tonight and I wish it
                                                             ­                                            sobered up        
                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                never

Oct 5, 2010

I wore pink today and also the brown shoes you
always make fun of.
My lashes were curled and dry for once. I thought you would
kiss me and hold me and make me feel pretty. I thought it was
going to be a
(perfect) good
day.
.
.
My pillow begs to differ

Oct 1, 2010

She's walking Poetry
With her skin glowing and her eyes sparkling and her weird feet
She's a girl who likes her coffee cold
Who loves grass, the green green kind
Who believes in Forever and in Far Far Away
With candy always stuck in her teeth
She's a melody in the air
Her nose is too big and her hair isn't right
She smiles for no particular reason with her crooked teeth
And throws her head back when she laughs
.
.
.
Love Hates Her

Oct 1, 2010

no I don't want to
talk right now
                                                             ­  I
don't want to hear
your load of crap
I coudn't care less
about the fact
that you
                                                          hat­e
everything I do
these days
no I'm not going to
apoligize and
I don't feel like crying
and saying I love only    
                                                             ­ you           ...          so just leave me fucking alone, will you?

Just a website I stumbled upon and it fit perfectly well with this poem. Wanted to share with you.
http://www.stfu.se/
 
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