It’s all just a game
This is something I now know
Power over another
Is this a game of telephone?
You sent your message down the wire
Knowing that you were a liar
But my mind was too young & naïve
And the words that I received
Were jumbled
And like a football being fumbled
You we’re careless with my heart
I was slowly falling apart
But all you cared about was the score
But life is meant for so much more
So I forfeited, I left the game
And to you, I'm just a name.

You told me to take a chance
So I took it

You told me to trust you
So I did

You told me you loved me
So I believed you

You told me you were sober
But you weren’t

You told me you were tired
But you lied

You told me we’d hang out
And we didn’t

You told me you’d change
And you didn’t

I told myself I was disappointed
But forgave you

You lied multiple times
But I still gave in

I let you take advantage of me
But I don’t know why

You don’t understand
And I'm done

I thought you were different
But you’re not

to feel as if no one understands you is the loneliest feeling of all.

you wait for a sign
of reassurance
of comfort

there's nothing.

complete emptiness

your mind rushes with countless thoughts

nothing makes sense

what's wrong? they ask.

you wish you could answer

but you can't

you wish you knew what was wrong

but you don't

life's misery has piled

one by one

making your shoulders a little heavier

with each added weight

life has brought you down

you're fearful that nothing will bring you up

you look around for any sign of happiness

of hope
of guidance

there are none

you take a deep breath

it seems your breathing is the only thing you have control over

you close your eyes and continue to breath

dreading whatever is to come

I think the part that gets me the most is knowing that I will never feel that way about someone again.
I will never experience that rush, that kind of joy, the ever-satisfying comfort that surrounds.
Will I ever be truly happy?
How can I?
Especially when I know what it COULD feel like,
And I know that it doesn’t.
Those feelings are gone,
And will never be felt,
Ever.
Again.
The way I felt about you.
That kind of feeling.
That kind of love.
Compassion.
Obsession.
Devotion.
Yearning.
That was true.

Goodbye to true love.

Maybe it's different, maybe this time he'll change?
“Go ahead, keep telling yourself that. You know it’s not true.”
Maybe one day he’ll feel the same way?
“Why do you give yourself false hope?”
It’s like we spend all of our time waiting for a boy who will never change.
“But if you know this then why do you give in again and again?”
It's hard learning that someone will never change.
“You need to stand your ground.”
The way he satisfies my lonely urges…
“Build a wall, separate from him.”
I’ve built a wall, strategically of things that he’s good at so he could break it down.
I’m still the same vulnerable girl when he comes around.
It’s like I lose control of everything…
My brain doesn’t function and my body only moves in ways that he’d like it to.
“He treats you like nothing and you know this.”
It’s hard realizing that your feelings for someone will never be mutual.
They only want you when they can’t have you.
“You know he’s no good for you.”

someone who used to take up all your time
now only takes up a slot in your photo album

you pass on the street
and you both pretend not to care

someone who used to fill your mind
is now just a distant memory

and we'll pass each other in our new lives
but neither of us will admit-
that we secretly wonder what could have been

I know your smell, that old familiar smell.
The expressions you'd make and their meanings.
I can feel the soft touch of your fingertips.
These are all things that I will never forget.

When our relationship ended, my love for you didn't.

when you feel you have no one

it's a dark and cold place
there's nothing to keep you warm
no familiar face

you're surrounded by people
but you've never felt so alone
searching for something, anything, to make you feel at home

when you've lost all your hope

what is left to believe in
no one understands
or knows that you're not breathin'

people stare
but they can't see the pain in your eyes
they don't hear the voice inside of you that constantly cries

I used to get nervous around you
My heart would skip a beat
My palms would sweat
An uncontrollable shaking of my feet

Your laugh would ring in my ears
I would get lost in your stare
When you kissed me time would stop
With you, I had no cares

You used to say you’d love me forever
And I would surely agree
But what changed between us
What brought along this misery

The spot where you should be
Is empty but that emptiness follows me

I look at my hand
Your fingers aren’t interlaced
But when I close my eyes
I can still see your face

My heart is filled with love
Love that’s only for you
But my brain was selfish
And told me I had to choose

Confusion filled my mind
I didn't know what to do
I guess I was bored
And wanted to try something new

But now that I’ve grown, I've realized
That your love, is the only love I’ve ever known

Life is perfect when spent with you

your smile could turn any sky blue


we sit, talk, and people watch
drink coffee, share stories and smiles


when I'm having a hard day

you always know the perfect things to say


how can two people be so much alike
but so unique at the same time


talking with you always makes me feel better

life slows down when we're together


our wrists share something special
like our love for doing good deeds


with blonde and red hair

Emily, you and I, we make the perfect pair

soft lips
fingertips
the way your hands caress my hips

pounding chest
deep breaths
when I'm with you I forget the rest

hair pull
your breath is cool
tonight I will play your fool

clothes gone
imagination on
we've both wanted this for so long

so bat your eyes
whisper lies
please feed my hungry cries

mistake?
or heartbreak?
either way there's not much left for you to take.

Lying in my bed
window slightly open
the moon is shining bright
my eager heart is hopin'
that maybe you're looking too
and that we're together in this moment.

Either way I know I'm not alone
as I look above to the sky of greatness unknown
I take my last look before I close my eyes
suddenly it all makes sense- there's no questions why

And for the first time my vision is clear
when I look to my future I realize all of my dreams are so near
like night lights in the sky
the stars put me to sleep - the sweetest lullaby

no space in between
our bodies are attached
we fit perfectly together
your chest against my back

our bodies intertwined
it's a beautiful thing
your arms pull me in close
my heart wants to sing

the warmth of your body
sends chills up my spine
even on the toughest days
you make everything feel fine

I wonder what you're thinking
when you hold me so
your fingers interlace mine
I never want to let go

stay here forever
take away all my gloom
I love everything about you
you're my big spoon

I don't want to be just an option
I want to be somebody's choice

I want someone to melt each time they hear my voice

I don't want to be used
I want to be loved

I want someone to turn my grey skies blue up above

I don't want a mystery
I want things to be as they seem

I want someone to be the man of my dreams

I don't want to be alone
I want to fill this space

I want someone to smile whenever they see my face

I don't want to be that girl
I want to learn from my mistake

I want someone who won't make my heart break

I don't want to be an option
I want to be somebody's choice.

the world seems so much colder when you don't have a hand to hold.

the ceiling fan above makes me dizzy

the empty space in my bed makes me numb

having no money makes me feel stuck

sometimes I feel like there's nowhere to run


I push the thought of you to the back of my mind
And cover it up with fake laughs and smiles
Until the memory of you appears
And I remember that I'm alone


the world has less color when you don't have someone to paint it with.

the food in my mouth has no taste

the heat of this town makes me sweat

I get nervous when I hear your name

you're something I'd like to forget



I'm doing fine and enjoying life
Until your face appears
Everything changes and it's like I'm back at square one
left to face it all on my own


the world is so much lighter when all the weight isn't on your shoulders

the ticking of the clock makes my ears mad

my heart seems to skip a beat

the slow rhythm of my breathing makes me feel lifeless

vulnerablity was my defeat


I gave so much of my heart and soul
And have nothing to show for it
You seem to be doing just fine without me
I've got nowhere to go but up


the world is so ugly when you take a closer look.

the way someone can be so selfish

the way someone can just bring you down

some people just aren't worth your time

I think I gotta get out of this town

Your smile
When I wake up in the morning
Your laugh
When I drive in my car
Our kiss
When I’m busy at work
Your arms
When I’m home alone
A broken heart
When I can’t sleep
An empty bed
Where you used to lay

Tangled in each other
Warmed by your touch
My heart is slowly melting
Is this love or lust?
Maybe it’s neither
Just a silly game we play
All I know is that your body seems to fit
Perfectly with mine in every single way
I don’t want to lose this feeling
Or even move from this spot
Im in love with the idea of us
Whether the odds are against me or not.