Anthony Jarell Alexander
Poetry isn't written it is created. Writing it is only one form of it's expression. Poetry can stem from anything, a look, a hug, a picture, a touch, a kiss everything. Poetry is not heard it is felt. The words in a poem are not nearly as important as the emotion or thought that is conveyed. If a poem doesn't make you feel then it makes you think, and if it so happens it does neither of those... then its not poetry.
As I sit and I watch her
from the chair in the corner,
I forget that I'm not going to be there in the morning.
Even though Yesterday looks so sweet,
as she lay there asleep,
I already promised Tomorrow that today we would meet.
My heart keeps ticking so it must be a time bomb,
when it runs out all I'll say is "Hi mom."
I've gone to hell and back without even a hand basket.
I'm just one man asking, to be void of these dreams.
I am annoyed by the screams
that haunt my serene scene of the obscene and unseen.
Can your sun lit thumb tip touch the horizon like I can?
Or will you be swallowed by the monster in my darkness,
and fill up the belly of the beast?
Piece by piece you would be quite a feast.
If truth is a religion then I am a priest,
but no where near a saint in the least.
I walk the tight rope of high hopes,
with past and future on each end of my pole.
Beneath me a hole, full of lost souls.
All mixing together in a devilishly dense soup.
Senses acute, observations astute,
I place boot in front of boot.
It's a tough balancing act, some what malice in fact.
But I can not fall and there is no room to crawl.
As if I have a choice I express my distress through my voice.
I don't studder or mumble, I make my words are clear.
I don't slip or stumble, each step is sincere.
I don't falter or crumble, I've been made strong by the fear.
Come over here and lend me your ear.
Just a storyteller telling stories if you're willing to hear.
This is my oasis in the fog.
I was baptized in these waters
and I don't even believe in God.
my sanctuary is tainted barely
as you throw your rocks in my pond.
After three or four the ripples still,
can't even touch the shore
like an infant child reaching for their feet for the first time.
Searching for the lady bugs to fight against these aphids.
How could say this isn't where the rain hits
when I've never heard a single one of my songs on your playlist?
...Memories fade like a fragrance...
Or so dreamt the cool cat that slept
on the warm hood of a suburban in his suburban hood.
Born in a summer haze and died just the same.
Will you come sit by my side at the piano
and criticize the way I turn the pages?
Because kings are rulers but can't measure a thing,
all you can do is sit and count your treasure in vain.
Heavy lies the crown but don't let it weigh you down.
I feel oddly godly in this mortal skin of mine.
Sure I bleed like a human but my colors are true.
Not crimson red or royal blue.
Hell I mean, they aren't even cowardly yellow or envious green,
rather transparent; unseen.
Now I know how it feels
to splatter and shatter
like raindrops on the windshield.
Too intense and immense I can barely take it,
I quickly recoil like the foot that breaks forth
from the warmth of your blanket.
The skies are clear, between these ears.
Days turn to minutes, while months turn to years.
I'm set in stone,
how are you still molding your clay?
Don't look at me that way.
I take on your whole week in just one day.
So take shots and smoke pot, rather then not.
Simply forgot or just part of the plot?
Does the sleeve hold an ace or just empty space?
Whatever he's got, it seems like a lot
of riddles and
I'll spit this heat until you're sick of me.
You're every bit of free so sit and see
how quickly we can be
each other's enemy.
With no help or aid
the trembling lending hand is afraid.
Would you have stayed?
If things were taken to the grave
instead of put on display
like they're cut into a high top fade
Powerful or powerless
with a slithering prowess.
Don't tell the cowards.
They will sacrifices hours
To take what's ours
I tried to whisper your name yesterday,
but all I could do was scream.
I tried to remember your face,
but all I could do was dream.
Music turned up louder than our ears can even hear.
Slurping and gulping down elixers of courage.
Brave as we want to be dancing furiously,
but more so fearlessly.
The one you came to hear is me,
anything else is heresy.
Zombies can rock but never make you come alive.
So I press my scepter to my lips
and scream to my fist
"Make 'em move like THIS!"
...And just like that all minds are lost...
...Priceless or worthless whatever the cost...
You are not the last of us,
just one of the blastphemous.
Alas my friend,
we meet again
as seemingly meaningful
butterfly kisses and dangerous pillow talk
turn to candle lit confessions
of past regrets and future sins.
Words whispered in the wind
float past my eardrums to beat upon my brain.
Like I'm insane I strain to strain
them out as scribbles, scrawled and sprawled,
over pages telling stories of painful ages
and chain filled cages.
Once upon a time's and used to be's
are not here's and now's.
But if ups have downs,
and smiles have frowns.
Then fortunately for my dark past behind me
I have blank paper in front of me
and I don't so much write, as
quite literally induce lucid memory with literature
only your mind can see,
in the deepest of its own depths.
More towards the chest.
Where shadows dance
like jesters, dressed to impressed her
with moves so fluent they flow like fluid, I can do it.
Plant a seed the size of a grain of sand and
watch it grow like a Beanstalk, talk
about power. Watch your watch
as the second hand moves like the hour.
Now you're in my time.
So entwined is my mind body and soul
every word I let roll off my tongue
is like foreplay to a threesome.
And when I hit the rhyme at the end of the line,
its like freedom.
You sit here and bare witness to my words
climbing your defenses with the swiftness
of the worlds most hardcore parcor.
So are your
thoughts that pure?
And are you sure you know how to endure
if they never find a cure?
With a view so obscured,
let me make these words clear.
I stand right here as all of your love as well as your fear.
Beyond the dark or the light.
I am the link between tranquil black and blinding white.
Even having no sight my words grip you tight.
And when my body is dead decaying and rotten,
like our children, they will not be forgotten.
Because words are the most immortal thing we've ever taught them.
I don't think a lot,
but I do a lot of thinking.
I don't drink a lot,
but I do a lot of drinking.
And it doesn't seem to stop
this feeling from sinking,
or my all seeing eye from blinking.
Breifly breaking my hindsight of the future
and disrupting my focus,
but you know what the joke is?
I'm fine with that.
And I find myself finding that,
So I laugh in the face of the scariest
demons and monsters
that your insecurities can conjure.
I believe I can beat them
because I know they can't defeat me.
I have an army of faith,
swarming and storming towards the creatures
easily slaying the doubts and questions,
hesitations from transgressions
attempting to slow my march.
But amidst all this bloodshed,
I must admit my head
is quite clear of all fear.
Instead filled with knowledge,
and if not that then belief,
and if neither are the case,
faith takes their place.
Digging through dreams,
to unearth confessions.
Can't you see the difference
between deception and discretion?
Or are you distracted by the cracks in the perfection?
A timid but ever relentless conscience
guides the human like responses.
Remind me that I'm only mortal
Take hold of my soul,
no need to be cordial you can be forceful.
Show me your strength and to what length you're willing to go
Question me for the answers you're not just dying
but killing to know.
These visions that I've fit you in,
you claim aren't genuine
and have no impact on real life.
But to me it feels like steel spikes
so I keep the seal tight.
If we both know what love takes
let's open up them flood gates
and give it a run for it's money.
We'll do it for Slug's sake,
because I'm not the coldest hopeless romantic rapper.
After the smoke clears
and cheeks have soaked tears
I stood and spoke here,
even if it was to closed ears.
Doesn't matter how rough the road
or that the rain is cold.
'Cause I'm gonna be alright,
and you're gonna be alright,
you ain't gotta hold my hand
just walk with me tonight.
Can you explain the destruction?
So it doesn't mean that much then?
Why do you try so hard to be a liar?
You know just as well as I,
there is no fire.
You're a farce, a fake, a fluke
Just like I am.
You've done no good here,
only spilled your beer
and stained the crystal clear veneer.
You act like you've saved someone,
don't make me laugh.
Broke all of the one million pieces,
you do the math...
Can you hear me?
Of course you cant...
You're too busy...
trying to breathe life into my screaming lungs.
But your twisting silver tongue
can never undo the damage that's been done.
Build your sickeningly silky and slick
web of words and hypocritcal contradictions.
Keep scratching the scabs if they keep itching,
but keep in mind they will start bleeding.
Dance my puppet dance,
because it make my princess laugh.
Among this aftermath,
her smile is all that I have
Horrific scenes of things unseen,
haunt my dreams with terrifying screams.
Breath taking sight with colors vibrint and bright,
is the guiding light to my thoughts through the night.
Laying in a cold sweat my sheets soaking wet,
and I'm willing to bet I haven't even slept yet.
Sound asleep in my bed with pillow under head,
loving that I never bled from everything that's been said
Tossing and rolling, not wanting whoever is next to me to hold me
I want you only and I need you solely
Cuddled with my princess, finally came to my senses.
No more fences, just tickles and pinches.
Sick, broken hearted and thoughts always darkened,
don't know why we parted or how this all started.
Calm, cool, collected, not defensive but protected.
Wrongs have been corrected and the right choice selected.
Overwhelmingly stressed and equally depressed,
I'm such a mess I have nothing left.
Cup overflowing with smiles both glowing,
happy in knowing we don't know where we're going.
Hopes and dreams,
dashed on a rock.
She chokes on screams
or maybe a cock.
Lost to her vision,
no path to follow.
Still love how you're livin',
or is it hard to swallow?
Come now my goddess,
you know me better than that.
Let's be honest,
do you want it all back?
With a story this sad,
you won't even have to stack the deck.
Took everything you had,
and left you a wreck,
Standing on thin ice under egg shells,
screaming to the heavens that left you.
The same lie everyone else tells,
but they are deaf to you.
They have forsaken you my goddess,
just like I have.
We found what your plot is,
and had a good laugh.
So run on home,
where ever that now may be.
Shut off your phone,
and stay free.
Starting here and now,
you're just a mortal
I don't know what this is about,
But it seems rather forceful
I'm turning my back,
as well as the tide.
The walls start to crack,
and now I'm inside.
I am infected,
now my disease runs through your veins.
to whom I inflict pain.
Came down from the sky,
with a witch's cackle.
Sat by my side,
and watched the fire crackle.
Don't look so weak,
everyone is powerless against me.
She turned to speak,
THIS IS YOUR LIVING HELL
AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF SENT ME!
More ment for torment then enjoyment
a story of how a young boy went
from scared to scarred, caged and barred
to ruling the whole school yard.
Self taught on how to be a man
making makeshift sense of anything he can,
looking at the puzzle with no pieces in hand
she couldn't stand the picture, so she took them and ran.
Confessions of secrets well known
eroded by the wind, worn down to the bone.
Never felt more alone in his own home,
he can only hear you if you speak in the right tone
She can see it on his face,
he needs her in this place
and if they keep this pace,
she could be one of the greats.
But can she bench press the stress he puts on her?
With nothing but faith and love as her sponser,
no sword or shield, ready to defend their honor
she came head to head with his monster.
Tested in time
by the rest of his mind,
through the mess she will find
she has less to unwind.
Wearing his shirt,
cleaning his dirt,
taking the hurt,
because she knows they will work.
Arms open and hands empty.
Wanting nothing more than to love him simply,
she keeps his focus away from the tempting.
I asked where she came from
she whispered to me gently...
The heavens sent me.
You have the right to love
and be loved as well.
The right to, not just break but, shatter from your shell.
Run free, run proud
sing to me and sing it loud.
Slacks and dresses spinning and twirling,
backs and arms bending and curling.
Dance like the puppets do
not seeing the strings touching you.
please puppet master loosen your grip
please god let his hand slip
Listen to me love theres no need
for the begging and the pleeding,
theres no reason for the weeping and the bleeding.
Never stray from whats true in your heart
and like a soft candle light,
it will guide you through the dark.
Now I've spoke with your master
it's not such a disaster,
he told me with no laughter,
"No one will ever out last her."
But the grey sky above has killed my sense of love
and with so much to talk about
but nothing left to say,
I bit my tongue
and just walked away.
This is no show
we can go slow
cuz I don't know
how to throw snow.
Everything is always on fire,
with crackling, roaring flames
burning shames, names, bridges
and everything the same...
So far beyond an open book
just pages on the floor,
you can go ahead and look
if you know what you're searching for,
but there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even finer one between knowing and believing
and damn near none at all between showing and deceiving.
It's more about what you're taking than what you're leaving,
what you're hearing than what you're seeing.
Peering through that looking glass
I can tell you can't see past
all the cracks, that's why you ask
where I got this mask.
I made it myself; do you like it?
I can see it on your face you don't love it at all...
If you don't want to dance you can stand against the wall
and if you don't want to fall,
you can lay down and crawl.
Just keep moving through the crowd then,
but you can't stop my sound from pounding
your thoughts just as it stops;
I trace your face.
And with nothing left to ask from you
I have one last task for you.
I made a mask for you
it's petite and small
but can cover it all,
so put it on my love.
Welcome to my Masquerade Ball
By herself in the dark with nothing at heart,
being so smart only plays a small part.
Take it back to start and place your mark
on the people, the faces, the parties, the places.
Tighten up your laces, we got a few more bases
but she's stuck in that stasis.
Memories fade like a fragrance
so of course the pain gets
too much to handle.
Too much flame and not enough candle.
Burn bright and burn hot
for everything we've fought.
All that you've sought is the only thing I've got.
Beyond an open book
they're just pages on the floor,
you can give 'em a look
if you know what you're searching for
there's a fine line between flowing and bleeding,
an even thinner one between knowing and believing
and damn near none at all between showing and deceiving
Every rose has its thorn but she's just a dandelion
so I blew her mind
to watch her thoughts start flying.
It's all water under the bridge now,
but I'll throw you off and burn that bridge down.
I don't want you to drown...
just want to see if your ability to sink or swim kicks in.
I only took your breath away to watch you suffocate,
but I keep hearing you wheezing
like your barely even breathing.
are you walking away?
Or just leaving?
Forever is the word he tagged on the walls in her mind,
so she walked those halls
with a bucket of paint thinner and hand full of time.
Her walls are too thick too strong with all that brick
maybe a lil acid will do the trick.
But he only came equipped
with some elbow grease and lil bit of spit...
The voice in his head whispered
"Now get to work kid"
So he did;
and never learned when to quit.
Following dark roads all night
looking for bright lights
to spark excitement and wonder where life went
the further we break from the burden of the world
the thinner the barrier between us and the heavens
I can almost reach out and touch them
while were on these hilltops
dancing like demons and devils
letting the magic dipped paper slip split
my mortal mind from my immortal soul
as the past slithers through the crowd like a snake
lurking in the grass only rearing its head to boast its own self loathing
but being so lost in the bass and the movement
makes me not even close to human
makes me more immune then
a deaf man trying to tune in or an ignorant man assumin'
and just as me and her return from our voyage
mother earth greets us
with the most beautiful sight
these one time eyes have ever seen so pristine
like a dream as a cloud drops to kiss the crisp hilltop
once again everything stops
and I thought
even witnessing the rot that she got
from scraping the bottom of the barrel
and lapping up the sin couldn't dampen the thin grin on my chin
so smile back baby
because not even all the cumpsters, so called friends or Christopher Walken himself
can stop us.
the thought is simple
the feeling the same
stealing the rain
that falls from yours eyes
sealing the pain
that spells our demise
look my love
look at the sky as the fish fly by
I would catch one for you
but I broke my pole last time I gave it a try
it made me laugh so hard I started to cry
and scream so loud I shattered the ground
as well as the man
solid like stone
yet hes broken down to the bone
but not alone
relying solely on his phone
to spill his thoughts
and keep them his own
the puppet show is the only place
he has ever called home
taking center stage
unleashing hidden rage
she squeezed out the cage
sprend her wings for a few days
flew around the world
just to get lost in the maze
with the turn of a phrase
she reveals their life as a phase
stunned and amazed
he rolls up to blaze
no clouds in his head
just the purple haze
now it all seems so simple
the problem isn't mental
it's a matter of will
can I splatter and kill
what I tried to hold still
I'll do you one better
leave the bird with one feather
and sever the tether
bring destruction to her seduction
and then see how well she can function
flying, running, lying, cumming
tell me something
is it simple now will more walls than bridges?
is your life really better as just one of his bitches?
come to your senses
you're smarter than this is
giving you credit for
the raven on my shoulder
is squaking simply
Over royal tombs and palace walls,
moonlit dreams spread whispers of the rising sun.
Come to me says the sirens song
Come to me, lay down your sword, lay down your shield
Come to me
Shadowy figures gather within the dark spots of her eyes
to share secrets of why she can't see.
Vision stolen by the greatest of thieves,
capable of stealing things that aren't yours to begin with;
Nor anyone elses.
But when the stars come down to kiss goodnight
and she rests her head on the softest planets,
sprawling across galaxies, wrapping her body-less soul in a warm nebula,
the sweetest dreams will cradle her new born thoughts,
tugging at the strings to her wings,
drowning out every siren that sings and brings their destruction
with out having to touch them.
Standing on rooftops chanting paganisms toward the heavens
like a heathen taunting the sky fire.
And it comes,
like the rain from home it comes;
It always does.
And as the gentle sunrise graces her face,
lighting up and opening the windows to her soul
I see that it's burning cyan-hazel flames;
Make moonlit dreams become sun soaked realities
Love notes disguised
As poems she wrote,
Are hidden under the pillow
Where she rests her head
On the bed that holds the only world
Where true love can blossom;
Because in this one
She gave her flowers away,
But they were tossed in
A locked bin and forgotten,
Now broken hearted and feeling discarded
she runs harder then when the race started
Has a destination in mind but no end in sight
Just the moon and the light from the stars in the night
She pours out her heart, I see the scars from the fights
And as I lay my mind, body and soul
On top of hers in an attempt
To use these words to to heal anything that hurts
Into a realm where every reflection
Is the exact perfection you were never expecting
To discover in each other
Couldn't find it in yourself let alone another
Now the ground, once covered in moss and things
Is awesomely blossoming
With the most beautiful flowers,
Not often seen by the eyes of the waking world,
I turn to this girl
And speaking soft as all time stopped
She said to me
"You've never been here before.
But I have spent more time here then there,
for various reasons I'd rather not share.
My mind, body and soul bid you welcome
to the only place I can help them.
This is my heart.
The very essence of my core,
what you see is all I have,
and nothing more.
So please tread light,
my heavily and shiny armored knight."
While I remove my armor,
I can't help but wonder
Would I get trapped in this bliss
If we happened to kiss
The softest green blades between my toes
I've never felt grass like this
So I walk slowly toward her
I know; I may not get another pass at this.
I can clear these fence posts in one jump now...
But I remember the days when I would have to peek through it's cracks to catch a glimpse of the magical world that lay just outside them.
Stepping foot on grounds that haven't been touched by any shoes of mine in quite some time now...
But I remember the days when they had lights on side of them and I would jump higher and higher to try and make them brighter and brighter.
Sitting on that old swing set with my knees almost in my chest now...
But I remember the days when my feet dangled at the bottom of my legs reaching for the ground but never reaching it.
Standing in a field that's borders are clear because it's empty and plain now...
But I remember the days when the blackberry bushes covered near half of it's grass and I carved out a path to my first sanctuary that sat in the very back.
Awkwardly walking up those tiny random stairs fully bending down to slide my hands across the rails now...
But I remember the days when they were just waist high, the perfect size and I'd fly up them hitting each step with flawless stride.
Ducking under the monkey bars to avoid the blunt force trauma of smacking my head, I am much taller than them now...
But I remember the days of when I would climb onto the shoulders of friends to hang from them for as long as my fading grip would allow me.
Resting my weeping head on the this picnic table that is obviously too small for the likes of me now...
But I remember the days when I'd stand with ferocity on that table top and rain down my terror on Beth and Peggy Sue like any good Godzilla would do.
In a world where everything is instant and constantly fast paced, time seems slower in this place; untouched by age.
These walls and halls still echo my childhood laughter. As my now calloused hands capture my, adult sized, tears I silently thank whoever spent the years keeping this piece of history an unseen mystery to the ever flowing and changing universe.
No matter what turn my path takes I'll always remember the days when nothing could make greater escapes.
This man's weather worn face sits eye to eye with the unforgiving world now...
But behind the barrier of memories I am still a boy...
Spying on the non believers and teachers through fences that bordered my secret lair running up and down random stairs stomping my light up shoes on each step that rests just beyond a rusted swing set with chains as long as the sky so I felt like I could fly climbing mount bestfriend just to hold on for dear life like the monkey bars are as high as stars dropping down on top of the world and letting out a roar to scare the girls followed by belly laughter that shook the rafters....
That world has been morphing and contorting for quite awhile but I still smile
Because back then... I ruled it
In the very same way I do today.