Angel Ann Fulford
I have positive days, and mellow nights. I sealed my heart in a titanium box and threw away the key. My dreams are filled with fairy tale endings that quickly morph into nightmares. I'm on the road to rediscovering myself and there's still a long way to go. I have the love of a tiny human, my baby girl with the sparkling eyes. She is the reason I keep pushing forward; I have a new purpose in life.
I wonder if it's true what they say.
That true will always come back to you.
I'm filled with the hope that some day
You'll come back to me and our love will be renewed.
But why do I hoPe when your the one who wanted things this way?
Why do I continue to cling desperately to though when you don't evenwant to stay?
I promised myself that I wouldn't cry.
Crying will make it reality.
A reality that must belong to someone else
I've been suffering for 5 long months
loneliness and heartache is my new home
when will it end? I'll never know
maybe when the leaves begin to change
or with the first fall of snow
"why me?!" I ask
"why me?!!" I plead
the answer never coming
my spirit continues to grow weak
all this suffering, and I mean nothing...
I mean nothing to the one I adore
why did God decide to close this door?
I'm steadily breaking
my pieces tumbling to the floor.
Everything seemed perfect for an instant
And in the next, my world came crashing down
A heart that beats only for you
Torn from my chest; yet still my love renews
But you don’t see me
You don’t even to care
The pain you cause me daily
Without a warm embrace to comfort me in hours of despair
Am I stupid for continuing to love you so deeply?
To hold so tightly, never wanting to let go…
My mind screaming "YES!" but my heart whispers "No."
I can’t let go of the past five years of my life
Refuse to let go of the dream that you may still want me as your wife
And if you do not love me, tell me now
So that I may try and pick up the pieces
Some way, somehow.
Starting to feel like I'm all used up and have nothing left to give.
I wish I knew... Knew how it could be fixed.
I've made my mistakes and continue to pay for them each and everyday.
Try to do the right thing, but it never turns out the right way.
Emotionally exhausted when will this roller-coaster come to an end?
I wish I could carry on believing in this dream
Clinging to the hope of a fairy-tale ending
The harsh reality is I may never be forgiven for my crimes against our love
But this babe in my womb deserves two parents who can stay together when it gets rough
So cruel it seems that she may grow up with a father who is not always around
To wipe away her tears or turn her frown upside down
My heart aches for what will become of our relationship
Never once thought that things would turn out like this.
Tell me those things
those sweet, enchanting things
that make the mountains and the rivers sing
the delicate melody of a romance unfolding
Days are wasted contemplating the possibilities
trying to fight off the fear that lies beneath
the miracle of life unfolds
so much beauty to behold.
Tell me something real
anything about the way you feel
about me and where we stand
do you still want me until the end
Are we still on the same page
or do we drift further apart
day to day
do I still have your heart
Tell me is it love or obligation
yes or no, is it complicated?
while you decide I will be waiting
to feel again your love or my heart breaking
"Slow down", she said.
"We're all just so restless,
We can't seem to sit still.
Moving too fast...
Just to throw it all away."
No one seems to think
for themselves anymore.
Bound ever so tightly
to the crowd.
Oblivious to the weight
that's dragging them down.
The best of intentions
are rotted away in the end.
Lamenting poor decisions,
and the way time was spent.
We're just fading away.
Believing in the mainstream.
Nothing's what it may seem.
How we crush our emotions,
until we are numb to the core.
always wanting "something more".
Seeing the way things have changed
Makes me feel a bit strange
Are we coming or going
Or are we just playing the game
I picture the day in my mind
When you say you love me
Leaving all worries behind
The day you put a ring on my finger
And ask me to be yours forever
On the outside I’m quite optimistic
But deep down I’m frightened to death
I find that I don’t know how to behave
Not wanting to push you away
When all I want to do is take you into my arms
And protect you from all harm
Yet there is little that I can do
But sit and wait patiently for you
And though these words may never reach you
I rip out my heart and wear it on my sleeve
For only you to see.
When did I lose it?
Where did I hide it?
Could you help me remember?
The place that I left it?
Where I last felt it lingering...
Lingering just behind me.
I've strayed too far,
Far from where I left it.
When was the last time that I held it?
I swore I could feel it,
Rising up beside me.
Oh, my confidence is missing.
If I could have 3 wishes
I'd wish for time to stop
to let go of our thoughts
and just do what comes natural.
every touch sends shivers down our spines
each kiss so decadent and divine
every moment feels like an eternity
no worries, no pain, no suffering.
Just bliss...pure bliss.
I'd have you and you'd have me
to have and to hold for all eternity
nothing can stop us now that we are free.
This moment is ours, like this we should always be.
Am I the only one who dreams
of leaving behind the material things
of going somewhere we can just be
everyday in the sun wild and free?
Why does it seem such an impossibility
to do away with what's not a necessity
to take part in the simplicity
of not keeping up with society?
Is it too much to ask if we
can take a day or two to let ourselves be free
to let the electronics and media be
and just like children frolic in the grass so green?
my mood has swayed
from the everyday
of trying to pretend everything's okay.
what's boiling inside me is pure rage,
but pure rage is numbed to sadness
this MADNESS is begging me not to sedate
these feelings that are harbored within my heart,
that have been feeding the madness from the start.
So excuse me if you find i have nothing to say.
And I dont give a fuck if it's all over my face.
Another day, another dollar
another chance to scream and holler
about how the things we have are never enough
or about the friends that don't stay true to us
but if you look at the big picture once in a while
you'll discover the things and the people that make you smile.
I thought I had it all figured out then
Did whatever without thinking of consequence
But then the truth fell like a brick to the head
And to admit to the truth surely I thought I'd end up dead.
I lied to myself for far too long
Deceived myself into thinking there was nothing wrong.
Now that I've admitted to my faults
I find myself wishing I'd said nothing at all.
But surely it's for the best.
And now my love is truly being put to the test.
Having suffered humiliation because of my own stupidity
I will make things right
Even if it takes an eternity.
I will not fail him.
I wish and I wish
Again and again
That I will become
A better person than
I am today
That the bad habits will fade away
Then I can truly say
Im living better in every way.
Emotions of passed situations I was dealt.
The happiness that followed my decent into the abyss.
Out of it all
Feeling it was well worth the time.
The lessons I've learned
Fill these pages as they turn
New chapters, new lines
Faded memories, new rhymes.
My heart is finally ready
To take its place
Right on my sleeve
Ready to be embraced
For the pain to be erased
Welcoming back its companion
Together we are the champions
The world ceases to move
Suddenly theres nothing to lose
We can take them all
And when death comes knocking
At our door
We'll take his sythe and go explore
The possibilities are endless
And we'll have it all.
I'm dreadfully bored
holding up in this empty apartment
though, you could never tell by its occupants.
The love has gone from this place.
My sense of home was taken from me when they separated us.
Since then, everything is so incomplete.
I hold myself prisoner in the darkness of my mind.
I am the angry cell mate ready to snap at anyone who looks at me wrong.
I am a fair and rational warden. Keeping the inmates in line; bringing strength and discipline.
And I am the prisoner. Curled up in the corner; broken, afraid to move.
Missing her sunshine.
Missing the times when even the cruelest of days were like a trip to the park.
He heals me and without him, all I can think about is what could go wrong.
Praying that it never will.
Terrified to accept the good things; always bracing myself for the storm.
And worse are the dreams where he doesnt love me anymore.
I never rember the specifics. I just know the feeling in my heart.
An aching that stays with me even after I have woken up.
And I fear that he will leave me alone in this place.
This is excruciatingly painful. I need to feel his arms around me.
I need the warmth of his body against mine.
I need my heart.