Andrew Kerklaan  

1992 -   

Poems

May 21

She's right there... --My friend I mean

She doesn't have much to say but I can hear you now

Grey innocents in lieu of child-hearted tragedy...

I'm sorry.

I never knew you had made these plans for me now

Could you find it in your heart to condemn your love for me?

Just this once?

Fading white I feel we may never stray past this point...

As though when I turn the page the story you had tried to show me will be lost

Alas...

What have I now but a passing traveler's blessing??

Running down... Behind the curtain and onto the floor. Coming in from the cold and into the shimmering light...

She's beautiful isn't she?

With an outstretched hand taking mine in your own

This soothing embrace is cooling me, bringing me down -- Taking me in

I never meant to hurt you this way

Can you ever forgive these black thoughts of mine??

Pulling away I must disband these beliefs I had once held sacred

I must cast them aside!

Moving forward.  To grow.    Be free.

...Or just float away

Till there is nothing left...

But friends best forgotten.

Writing on one of my own selfish hates and paying homage to the fallen legends that made me who I am today
Apr 6

Upon this parchment I scribe a vow...

To never turn away even if it burns my eyes to look...

To go on with-out fear of failure and to cast all doubts aside...

A vow to be ignorant of this plague of ignorance!

I solemnly swear that I will spit in the face of prejudice indignity and deface the figure-heads of unimaginative creationism

...And I will not back down nor shall I be deterred from that which is inspired!

I shall embrace freedom to it's fullest extent and will die upon compromise of that which I have deemed sacred.

This much I swear!!

Until death strips me of my right!

I vow to be free.

Mar 15

Delicate tang spritzes the air with a sunshine kiss

Peeling so gently it's lady-like tenderness is an elegant tea party with white gloved fingers and daisies on the mantle

Her majesty will be pleased!

A romantic encounter of citrus delight and sun-bathed security in ever loving om and happiness

A candidate as sweet could never be asked for such a casual Sunday outing and for you my dear we are but a shared slice of raspberry accented pie

So powerful but yet so softly subdued...

Like piano ballads or string quartets it is here simply for our glorious consumption

An ode to you my Sunday sweet orange!

May my taste buds always dazzle upon your  arrival

This poem is the embodiment of how I feel while eating an orange on a sunny Sunday afternoon
Sep 22, 2012

See the colours moving, watch them taking shape

Translucent green against florescent yellow, peeling away to red and then back again.

Imagination takes it's toll where comprehension comes unglued and realism takes passenger on our journey down and into the unknown

Linking arms and taking the plunge. Delving further then our fore-fathers ever dared to enter

A prisoner of your own mind -- Lost in oblivion

Thoughts dribble into nonsense and mind transferal begins...

Quiet like a shelter but buffeting as a torrent of emotion, colour and sound; raging like tides but fragile as candles light

The mind flickers with life but is lost in the breeze, leaving only a trail of smoke to follow...

Higher they climb until they're swallowed up by the sky and they learn to glow outwardly for all to see

Only then they may come down

"...and have a hangover"

I based this vaguely through a number of narcotic episodes experienced by myself and some comrades. If these concepts make you uncomfortable your voice will be to no avail as it will fall upon deaf ears.
Aug 27, 2012

While this is happening you will be my secret
Until this is finished nobody can hear you crying out
Unless I let you go then the moon will fall
You must know I do this for you...

Clawing at the eyes that must see
Feel this release around you.
Intimate. Embrace. Soothing...
I need this.

Empowering me, I become weightless and soon float away...
To watch from below
Knowing exactly what has to happen
and dreading the day they ask of my return...

Sometimes I feel as though I'm bound to this place, as though there were chains or rope around my neck. Like I could just step off the plank and wake up from here... Maybe one day I'll be free to float away but not today... Not like this...
Jul 20, 2012

Apperating into the distance it flawlessly exceeds my view

Effortlessly sailing higher- transcending into the nothingness

Beyond the clouds and into the blue

Transpiring into what must of been the fabric of existence itself

A void of any distinguishable colour or shape

It's black, blue, grey aura is all that's left behind

Like lingering dreams in the dwindling morning hours- just before they fade to black and leave us in silence

Gazing out into the nothing around me, my feeble eyes hang motionless

Stricken by what was, what wasn't and by what could have been...

Only to have woken in uncertainty- Lucidity clinging on in the last dying image of pastel reveries...

There was a time when I could look just above the tree tops and swear I saw some sort of fog or an aura rising up from them like a supernatural wildfire... This is a reflection on what I saw
Jun 29, 2012

Every little drop must consume

Every one completely as necessary as the last

Feasting on tears and blood of the innocent

All the while...

...Rising, Rising  



Blacker then tar and twice as thick

It greets your open lungs with a kiss

Toxic and grey

All the while...

...Rising, Rising



Until all has been consumed

Quaking to the foundations

Decimating

All the while...

...Rising, Rising



An endless torrent of wind and ice and ash -- inescapable.

Clinging to dying breath, world stops turning

Now all has been consumed

All the while...

...Rising, Rising

Mar 19, 2012

He catches an upward blast and is cascaded toward the heavens  

A plume of feathers both grey and blue  

Soaring high above, riding the draft  

Elegant and careless like the valkerie's flight  

Sailing onward to certain victory!  

The drums roll and the trumpets shout  

Beating to the crest of the aerial knight

Streamlined magnificents fit for a king

A slave to no one -- A peasant to all  

The overpass pigeon takes flight

Mar 4, 2012

Deep solemn voices speak from within

Falling snow in the dead of night

Like the grand emperor of solitude

Alone humming, cooing -- singing his song

...Om...

Profound silence in a gesture of grandeur

Icy peaks, frost bitten slopes and fierce bitter winds

Chilling the very soul

Harder then stone, colder then ice

The mountain sings its song

From high atop the mountain’s peak he peers out down below

From a solid base I see his face

A mask of ice and snow

Feb 19, 2012

The initail scratch is scibed and a body comes to life

Blackness

His body carved of the purest white light

Agelessly faded he drifts solemly from view

Smiling all the while, an incision of the face emits a wretched laugh

So seldom do his unspoken words take voice

Slung from twine...              ...Forever he remains

...Seamlessly trapped...

The ground dangles tauntingly beneath him but with hands bound tight he's dances a "hang man's jig"

A word falls to his side and another limb is painted into veiw

Love in death; this paradime is his noose

Biting deep the rope cuts and the whiteness fades to grey

The existance of light is now unpainted and cold numbness dims the lights

A passing shadow moves before the shroud and soon all is lost

The picture is complete and the painting unveiled

A dull sunshine glow casts a dims shadow and now all is lost

Hush now my child, the time is here to rest.

Love in Death

-The beauty in life is mortality in death, to live an eternity would be meaningless without the beauty of momentary gratitude for the things that we left behind in death.

Andrew F. R. Kerklaan
Dec 11, 2011

Hatred breeds temptation
  
Temptation breeds patience
  
Patience is a virtue... But only the virtuous may pass on
  
Those who pass on must seek redemption
  
The trials of the scorned must pave the path
  
In the eyes of the wicked none are innocent...
  
For this you must pay the homage!
  
These atrocities must be avenged
  
Neither test nor trial this is yourlife!
  
In this the brutalization will mark the path
  
There is no forgiveness!!

Dec 11, 2011

Watching from above, they say It sees it all
  
It sees me from the sky,its hiding in the clouds
  
My eyes may not see It but they say Its all around
  
I don't belive a word of it, they say I'll burn in hell
  
I tell you that It can't exist, isn't it plain to see??
  
You say I must have faith in something to believe
  
Its hiding up amongst the clouds but Its just not real to me...

Dec 11, 2011

He decends the stairs of the porch on the house sleepily

.....He is calm

Realizing his wires are tangled he quicky unbunches them...

The sidewalk clicks by unheard to his ears...

Houses... Dark pictures from which he sees images of people -- Looking out, watching tv, talking...
  
He hears the sound coming from inside his ears but it does not register to him.... He remains deep in thought....

click click click
  
The stones pass by unnoticed

click click

Waiting

The criss-cross patterns on every single lawn...
  
Like an endless sea of unchanged, untouchable conformity he thinks to himself...

Reaching for the small chunck of metal in his pocket to turn up the noise and drown out his thoughts...  
  
What is it?  
  
He questions himself without answers....

With a fear of the unknown but completly unaware of what he should fear...  
  
He thinks quietly...

A building approaches... Bricks that are red like an African sunset... A prison... A place of hatred and sadness...

He stops, there is a man far away calling to him.....  
  
Ignorantly he continues without a second thought.

"Scum! An endless sea of it...." He speaks underneath his breath  
  
Black leather hangs around him in long sheets... As he walks it sways... This pleases him...

Such a hollow pleasure he thinks bitterly....  
  
What is purpose? is it merley the quest for meaning? or something more...

click click click  
  
......Darkness is now around him and a place to rest is close....

click click....

Dec 11, 2011

Can I sit with you?
  
Small Cat...
  
I can see your eyes watching me from the dark
  
Cat...
  
They look green from here
  
Cat...
  
Are you hunting in the dark now?
  
Cat...?
  
If you were would you let me come?
  
Cat...

Dec 11, 2011

One...
  
A moment passes me by...
  
Two...
  
Stretching into the shadows...
  
Three...
  
I bury my head into the sand...
  
Four...
  
Emerging to see what has come of me...
  
Five...
  
I am thrust into the light...
  
Six...
  
Surrouded by other beings I am no longer alone...
  
Seven...
  
Their eyes are now upon me...
  
Eight...
  
They bring me to the vessle...
  
Nine...
  
A door somewhere far off is closing...
  
Ten...
  
The blackness is suffocating in space...
  
Eleven...
  
The world I leave behind with closed eyes
  
Twelve...
  
Swift and sudden pain give way to release as I am taken away...
  
I am alone again...

Dec 11, 2011

It is soft
  
It isn't worth very much
  
Like a pocelain doll it is fragile-- so easily broken
  
It's value to me is more then my very soul
  
Like days gone by or fare wells unsaid I wish only to share our time together once more
  
To hold a piece of the Sun in my cool embrace and to ravish you for these desserts so swetly deserved
  
Closer then one of my own we are a single part of two
  
Loosely flowing, moving, breathing
  
Now filled with brilliant light that dances under the stars
  
My beautiful love is surpressed while you bare it's mark  
  
As softly though as a dream, from deep in my chest it hums a toon of my glee...
  
...A sole wittness to the words unspoken within
  
I love deeply in the silence of the sounds

Unheard by the untrained ear

Dec 6, 2011

It's gone...  
  
Like an aged photo it sits there faded in the details, uncertain.  
  
Where ever did it go?  
  
Did it ever even happen?  
  
When did a child's laughter ever become so faint?  
  
A train whistle on the horizon...  
  
Another grey photogragh  
  
Where ever did the time go?  
  
Those moments passing me by...  
  
Lamps on the street through the car window on the way to an auntie's house...  
  
Why are you so vague?  
  
My sister...  
  
She is young and she is weak but for the stregth of a thousand men  
  
A boogie man to a flashlight  
  
She is a gaurdian to the lamb...  
  
Never do seconds pass so quicky as a year in a child's eye  
  
A singular image stands out amongst the ashes of this fire...  
  
A hero, a saviour - a fleeting memory...  
  
As the ashes blow to the wind they are taken away from me but the image remains  
  
I will cherrish this love forever  
  
Nothing could ever take down my only hero  
  
She is small and sometimes doubtful and so humanisticly is afraid  
  
But in the eyes of a smaller younger boy she is the sister of dreams  
  
This boy I know, and he is bigger now...  
  
Now stonger, faster, a tougher boy now  
  
Weakened only by a needle's prick in a heart he made of stone  
  
Unfeeling to the faces and cold to the unknown  
  
For at least a few moments  
  
She pricks at his heart alone

a tribute to my sister
Dec 6, 2011

With eyes wide open the world spins lucidly out of control  
  
Growing faster and faster, the world is growing...  
  
White blonde hair whipped passed her face would seem so far away  
  
Like a forgotten lover's name it is so sureal...  
  
Ideas of flight abstractly toying wih the corners of her mind  
  
Her wings are pressed flat...  
  
A final escape from a dream which you could never wake  
  
This is her ecstacy.  
  
Her final curtain...  
  
Perhaps it would seem odd that her last thoughts would be of her mother  
  
So soft and warm...  
  
They never did agree on anything...  
  
Perhaps in another life they could finally see eye to eye but there would be no such luck this time around...  
  
Her head tossed in a backwards roll  
  
The last ten or fifteen feet seemed to disintegrate away...  
  
A dream's sad ending could never be so uplifting  
  
She opened her eyes for the last time to find her dream had given way to the real  
  
She had been set free  
  
...and had finally embraced the unknown

Dec 6, 2011

Their eyes to the loose soil
  
Nobody says a word
  
Cries of anguish deep inside
  
But not a wimper is heard
  
Aching for the other half...
  
Left here alone to walk the path...
  
The dirt now packed and the people gone.
  
All are gone except for one
  
A single rose clutched in one hand
  
He kneels down to touch the ground
  
Placing his hand upon the stone...
  
Ever so softly he weeps alone.
  
Amiss without.
  
She was the one, to whom he'd of given his first born son
  
No longer here to lighten the load...
  
Taken from him, to her new abode
  
A prayer on the wind of summer's breath
  
Carried to the heavens, wishing for death...
  
A broken man his hand does shake
  
A rose left which no hand can take
  
Words forgotten never meant so much...
  
As his cheek caressed by a lover's touch
  
I love you never seems enough
  
When it is your heart that has been snuffed...

I wrote this about a hypothetical situation of my baby leaving town while we were fighting and returning back to me in a "box".  When I first wote this it made me cry, and I could feel the rose in my hand. It was like I was already there...
Dec 6, 2011

I loathe you.  
  
From the pit of my very soul I feel that you have wronged me beyond forgiveness  
  
Like the crack of a whip or a slap in the face my hatred is sharp; unyeilding.  
  
Pictures etched in stone are unclear when I try to look upon my hate...  
  
To glance upon the sun would be the image of my mind  
  
"Black as holes within a memory"  
  
The daunting truth of the brutalization  
  
My unsound justice is left unserved...  
  
My rage lives on, fed by the dream of nightmares uncensored to my eyes  
  
Ever to be saught your death comes to me on swift winds  
  
Like a bad handshake your name leaves me dead inside, with a taste in my mouth that will leave you spitting blood!  
  
Like memories left unchecked, imaginative images claw into my mind's eye giving life to the blood of comic book renactments  
  
Pictures are dark while tones of my hate are made bright  
  
These forces are relentless...  
  
Dark clouds roll in but the sun peaks through into our realm  
  
For a time my vengence seems less fleeting...  
  
A new day is afoot and my nemesis close at hand  
  
The end for you my friend is my beginning to be!

 
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