'Its Useless' I say to myself as i climb the steps, my own demise awaiting me there, I listen as i hear the drum beats
Then silence , the pounding coming back as I make my own rhythm moving with my feet , to make my way to the top, A fiery inferno awaiting behind the door, I grab the handle barging in, The face I see is not shocked, but is not happy either , what is this? An emotion unseen by human eyes? A useless attempt to hide the anger obviously burning inside just waiting to roar out at me, I stay still watching, waiting, Nothing.
Has he not heard my footsteps? My shaky erratic breathing? Finally a glance his eyes once wide now merely slits as he turns my way. Two steps back, trying not to fall , The depth beneath trying to engulf me , The warmth beating up warming my body chilling my heart,
Awaiting the screams as i feel the tears build, Do I leave? Do I stay? He tells me to fight back, To stand my guard
How can I be up against him? Alone, Helpless my body smaller, weaker, His daughter a mere defenseless child , Yet as I am Raised An Adult is formed, No talking back, Stand up for yourself , Stand for your punishment or receive worse then already coming,
My father alone, making me hide my face no daughter dearest or being hidden from the males shoved into the adult world at a mere 14
punished since 3, used since 5, made an adult at 10, and already planning to be kicked out at 16, and finally ended at 20 of age
A useless life a young girl who always hid her world from her parents trying not to be punished each day staying hidden away.
You asked me if I had trusted you and i replied "yes"
You asked if I still did i replied "no"
Because you lied to me
Because i trusted you with all i had and you cheated with her my own friend!
You left me broken and hurt an wouldn't even say why
You killed my heart so know what?
Just go freaking die!
kiss me an i will smile
hug me an i will grin
hold my hand an i will giggle
slap me an i will flinch
hold me down an i will scream
tie me up an i will fight
make me kill an i will die
Kill me an i will kill you
You won't be able to even move
battered an bruised
suffocating an used
you kill me i will kill you
I hide my feelings from him and friends
I hide myself till i want it to end
I don't want to make the suffering last
I don't want to make my heartache pass
My feelings strain an my heart won't stop
My heart keeps pumping its to strong
The pain i feel is far to wrong
The pain i feel is my own song
I can't change it nor stop it
I can't make it fade
All i want to do is really just go away
My heart is hurting yet i still love
My heart is breaking an i won't stop
The more i love the more i hurt
i can't believe it still won't work...
Kiss me in the Rain
Kiss me Soft and Sweet
Make my heart melt
an feel the beat
Let the Rain Pour down
Soak the street
Dance in the Rain
Breath Soft and Slow
Keep your feet moving
Fresh Crisp air
breathing it in smoothly
my hair sticking to my cheeks
laughing joking smiling
all at once
haven't done this
in a million years
can't breath my heart racing
One Last Kiss to say Goodnight
My hair cascading down my back
my back straight, head held high
tracing my fingers over my skin
showing the bruises from the night before
my eyelashes batting trying to hide the tears
i look in the mirror seeing a stranger there
its not me it can't be
brown eyes so deep to see the very soul
full eyelashes batting to kiss the sky
pale flawless skin as soft as the snow
i slip the ribbon around my waist
tightening it there in a single bow
i brush make up over the bruises
put a smile on my face
i slide the heels on my feet
an look in the mirror once more
it is me a beauty in disguise
a devil hiding in an angels skin....
i slip an struggle reaching for the edge
my feet slip an i fall
u would think i was dead
i wake breathing hard an scarcely conscious
darkness surrounding clammy feeling on my cheeks
i scream an hear nothing
but my heartbeat alone
i walk till i fall i try to see where
i scream an i cuss till i couldn't care less
i know i am alone
i know i am terrified the walls trapping me creeping closer
an sliding the stone barely moving
i fall to my knees begging for my life
they don't listen an i can't quit
i see something!
a small light perhaps?
i can't tell i scream an i shout
i see a figure walk to the edge an look down at me
is that you up there?
did u hear my scarcely beating heart?
my shaky breathing?
my staggered heart?
i know your voice your gently heart
your sweet scent an glowing being
i see myself loving you
do you see it too?
you rescued me
I saved you
One of a kind