I am tired of listening to people cry.
I do not want to hear their weeping.
Every night, I lay awake and wonder 'God, why me? Why?'.
It is something dark, and right through my skin it is slowly seeping.
I put on a smile and much laughter.
Behind it, is a crushed, tired spirit.
Every day, it all just gets harder and harder.
Is this really everything I merit?
I stay strong through it all, I will not shed a tear.
Everything is just too much for me to handle, but yet, I still stand.
My screams and pleas, does not anyone hear?
I feel like I am standing in sinking sand.
Falling slowly, day by day.
It is times like this when I wonder, "How is it that I bend, but never break?".
There are simply no words left to say.
I wonder sometimes how it would feel to break, would it make my spirit shake?
How much more must I take, this is not what I set out to be.
Now, my heart just aches.
I want to just cry, let it all out, not caring what the world thought of me.
But the tears will not come, all that is left is anger and sadness, I do not feel awake.
I hold it all in, and suck it all up.
It is me against the world, as always, not much has changed.
Here I am, thrown on the ground once more, on my way back to the top.
I will only be thrown back down, but hey, at least I am liberated from my chains.
I refuse to back away, I will stand in the rain.
It all comes crashing down, my failures shoved in my face.
I do not know what the future holds, but I will try to withstand the pain.
Life is hard, I know that, you do not have to tell me, I just want to win this race.
After all that I've been through, am going through and will go through, what is left?
Tell me, what waits for me at the end of this fight with myself?
I am crawling, I cannot even stand, I am almost at the end of my rope, am I there yet?
I just want to shove this all in a box, and hide it away forever on a shelf.
I hide away, hide away, try to push everything aside.
I am tired, my head I wish I could lay.
I hope this does not come back to haunt me, for sadly, in my fear I reside.
Here we go, here begins yet another day.
There are many people in my life - it is true.
But, looking at all of them, there is not one like you.
You have taught me how to do so many things.
Like a bird beginning to fly, barely spreading its wings.
You always listened to everything I had to say.
I knew for a fact that you were here to stay.
You helped me make tough decisions that would mold my life.
You saved me from unbearable pain and strife.
Many tears I have shed for you.
At those moments where my heart ached for your pain, it was all I could do.
You are my best friend, and I love you to death.
I promise I will love you all my life, till my last breath.
The paparazzi's camera flashes,
He caught me with my Dior glasses.
I push them up to the top of my head,
I was going for that “classy” look, like the magazine editor said.
Waiting to walk down the red carpet,
I am wearing a beautiful golden locket.
It went perfectly with my long, flowing red dress,
With my looks and accessories, I was sure to impress.
The crowd was screaming as I stepped out of the limo,
It was then that I got the memo.
I struck a pose, and flashed my pearly whites,
The camera flashed, and then I turned around and walked in slow strides.
On my feet were four inch heels,
With my killer outfit, they seemed to seal the deal.
The fame is spectacular,
But I must say, very difficult to master.
In a world of a billion colors,
This world I imagine is full of wonders.
It is a warm place,
But yet snow falls lightly, caressing my face.
I feel as if I was floating in thin air,
I look down at my feet and notice that the ground isn't there.
As I stare into the sky,
It is not blue, it is lime green, and I am guessing that today, the clouds were shy.
The lime green sky was so clear,
It was then that the stars began to appear.
The stars were purple,
And they were not shaped like your typical star, they were in the form of a bubble.
My skin was no longer a light tan,
It was silver, and strangely reminded me of a can.
All of a sudden, everything was shining,
I was confused, I thought I could see the silver lining.
This vortex type of whoosh came upon my eyes,
And I felt as if it was sucking me in, I'm telling no lies.
What is happening? Can't I stay a while longer?
It is in this world that I wish to linger.
I don't want to go back to my world,
I don't know how I got here, was it in a whorl?
What if I can never return?
Then the vortex seemed to die down, my eyes burned.
I shut my eyes,
It was the only thing in my body that I was able to control, to my own demise.
When I was able to open my eyes again,
I awoke on my bed, in my hand, a pen.
A notebook was in front of me,
I saw only two words on the first page, so it be.
"Pure Imagination", nothing else was written.
It came to me that now I knew what to write; I was smitten.
Did you know that just one life could make a difference in another life?
Just that one life could make a difference, and end another's strife.
Did you know that just one life could bring happiness to someone?
Just that one life could make someone know as if in this battle of life, they've won.
Did you know that just one life could brighten up one's day?
Just that one life could act as a radiant, beautiful sun ray.
Did you know that just one life could change someone's heart?
Just that one life could help them stand firm, even when life seems to be too hard.
Did you know that just one life could change someone's way of thinking?
Just that one life could open their eyes, and keep them from blinking.
Did you know that just one life could strengthen another person's faith?
Just that one life could do just that, with just one word that they say.
Did you know that that one life could be yours?
Just that one life could change someone entirely, so take these words, and soar.
I remember when we laughed together,
Each giggle just got better and better.
I remember hugging you,
Sometimes without reason, just out of the blue.
I remember being by your side,
Because in you I did confide.
I remember your smile,
For which to see, I would walk a million miles.
I remember your laugh,
It is contagious, that of which I wish I had.
I remember your eyes in the sunlight,
Beautiful, glowing, honey colored and bright.
I remember your heartbeat,
For which to listen to, was always a treat.
I will always love you,
My love, my friend so true.
Most people don't ever get the chance to say what they really had to say.
Every day was passing just like another drop of rain, it was driving me insane.
Everything is different; it will never be the same.
Each day ends with no new happiness, just new pain.
Now that you've passed, I feel like my life is shattered.
I didn't get the chance, this is a disaster.
Why did this have to mold my life, like plaster?
Was this like some stage that I just couldn't master?
Now that I look back, I realize.
It wasn't hidden, it wasn't in disguise.
Friend, why did I not speak, and take you by surprise?
Said what I felt before you died.
It was simple; I do not know why I held back.
You were my best friend, now just something that I severely lack.
Just when I thought that I had the knack,
I didn't say it, like I had stuffed it in a sack.
We made the best pair of friends, just us two.
It was undeniable; it was all straight out true.
Now, it may be too late, but I'll say it as if it was brand new,
I love you my friend, and I'll truly miss you.