we used to play
by climbing the shed
next to our pool
then leap into thin air
clasping on to faith
and to the crowns
of little pine trees
that would bow
seamlessly
‘til we hit the ground
with just the right amount
of scare and grit
in our bodies
to goad us back up
onto the shed
again

As I began to see clearer,
Things started to disappear right in front of my eyes.
At first it was things like mugs, songs, cars,
and friends (those that weren’t really my friends).
Then it was the clouds, the wind, and the rain.
Few things remain, but these things are so beautiful.
Everything is always so peaceful now.
I have everything I need, I am everything I need to be.
I’ve come to realize that those who smile the most are not always the happiest,
And that faith isn’t as terrible a thing as I’ve heard so many preach.
God does care.  In His own way.
He does exist.  In you, like everything else.
Miracles, like a father teaching his son how to choose his loves, happen.
Your every heartbeat is a miracle.
There is beauty in everything if you can see the beauty in you.
I’ve let too much life slip away.
I don’t shun pain any longer, nor anything that’s natural.
There is a purpose in everything. There really is.
Particularly in the smallest of things.  
Simplicity is what makes life special.
Simplicity is what makes us human.
Nowadays, I hear the silence that exists in me,
And that is always more than enough.

it was love then.
it is love now.
being is always enough.
when you resist, you suffer.
stop pushing. place trust in dharma.
the petals fall when they must fall.
if you don’t push at all, something will still happen.
change is the highest quality of your heart,
and when you change, everything changes.
there is no separation between us, only awareness.
see god in everyone and you become god.

first call god, then send him away.
aum namah shivaya.
ram.  jhao.
भगवान. चले जाओ.

when i was young
i didn t believe in love
i didn t have to.
we would go on trips
all the family
every sunday
to a lake
to see swans
and eat cakes
and play games
we d played
countless times.

birthdays
were filled
with lively children
devoted parents
and ungettable wishes.
i couldn t keep
all the presents
we d give them
to children
without parents.
all but three.

so it went
year by year
as we grew.
we didn t believe in love
we didn t have to.
we did all things together
we flew together
drove down to the shore
together.
fights were uncommon
they were meaningful.
everything was simple
and so were we.

one time
there was a goldfish
in a bowl
that i fed
with tiny little pieces
of fish fodder.
life was true
and feral
our pockets filled
with dreams
made of laughter.

then a man came
he took me away
he breached everything
he stole my innocence
with his lust
for all things
with his malice.
some fights we just
can t win.
his face was pale
his eyes were red.
don t listen to what
he has to say.
this man was me.

Your gods lay dead, buried
and past forgotten, while
the greater God patiently
awaits your return, in
immensity, within you.

Soul is a triumph that must
be deserved, by remaining
in or returning to our
Permanent Self.

In between, it is absent.
Innocence is the shore we
depart from and the shore
we must return to.

Don’t seek love. Your
essence is love. Don’t seek
truth. You are the
embodiment of truth.
Don’t seek god. You are
god. Your simplest you is
you.

You want to know the truth?
The truth cannot be expressed
by words or mind.

Look inside
and find you in you.
You will have small feet and small hands,
a big heart and no mind.
Wake up and play,
spin round and round in magical circles,
and laugh,
and say silly things.

Now, you know the truth.

you enter
smiles and golden rays of hope
pains fade, kisses gained
i sigh

you exit
lost, twisted
pains regained
i cry

If you judge me by the masks I wear,
you will be guilty of duplicity,
for the masks you judge me with
mask the masks you judge.
We are all hidden, as brood in fright,
standing on empty air, on an illusionary light
that swathes our pointless being,
we create layers and sub-layers
of unawareness and awareness,
that essentially add no factual insight
onto our self or being.
We are fools, fooling ourselves
and other fools, in an uninterrupted
movement we’ve called life.

Cease all judging and the masks collapse -
all foolishness is disrupted,
leaving nor awareness or unawareness,
just simple facts and being.
Live a physical life, through your valid senses.
Live a simple life, through your valid senses.
Live your life, and just your life, through your valid senses.
Be you, simply you, no more, no less than you,
and all will be made plain and be alright.

War is not the revolution.
Justice, equality, respect for self
and for everything that’s alive,
human dignity, compassion,
a balanced, healthy life,
and love, true love.
That’s the revolution.

this is your life
grab it with both hands
feed it with all you have.
don’t let it be dragged through the mud
nor numbed by glut and waves of others.
this is your life
filled with fears and pains and defeats.
still you smile and work and make love.
keep on walking.
wear your scars with honor.
there is always happiness ahead.
there is a tomorrow and other dreams.
this is your life.
have faith in yourself.
you are great.
more than great.
with the slightest sway of your heart
you can slay all your demons
and rise.

There’s something about hotel rooms
that just taste better
Their silent is more silent
You’re stacked and lined-up
and you still feel so out of the way
Have you ever made love in a hotel room?
Soundless, pricey mini-bars as foreplay
First light through those gauzy drapes
that don’t belong to you
Fucking on those crisp white sheets
that don’t belong to you
Room service forever waiting
on the tip of your fingers
through those granite goes dark Teledex phones

And the water-flow is just the thing
I guess they add something to the water
or it’s the way they boil it
there’s something unusual about it
that perfectly matches our skin
And when the bimbo leaves
there's just no guilt
You won’t ever call her again
but there’s just no guilt
You know you were great
she’s downright pleased
and you feel on top of the world

We live in a world of noise,
of parallel and asymmetric movement,
where nonchalance has become the norm.
Sweet, melodious and pleasing
is our phony makeup.
We are animals that reject our animalness.

We dread nuclear, secular, red lights, cockroaches, love,
threats and non-threats alike.
Fear has taken us on its morning stroll,
and predictably we bark.
(The sun is almost up)  

We are turned on and turned off
by oil-, wind- and hydro-powered switches
that respond to clapping.
There are beige, mauve and burgundy
curtains to choose from,
and supersized french-fries, pots, and cars.
We have lost ourselves in a mess of options,
and strive incessantly to complicate.

We fly in formation
and flow through carefully placed
and beautifully colored rocks made from Styrofoam,
down an improbable slope
of over-romanticized hypotheses.
We are orgasmic, ego-centric and nepotistic,
and asexually multiply.

Thought and all other wasted rationality
keeps the axes of our unsustainable and fanatical wheels
from breaking loose (into free space and true autonomy).
We create meaning where there is no meaning,
and scientifically and thoroughly flout
god and the truth,
whilst we absorb, photosynthesize, bear fruits and grow leaves
(we are still, essentially, vegetable).

With every step we go deeper, and faster and better,
and farther from our selves.
Hence, we barely feel.
We are deaf and blind and mute
and approximately frozen;
and dance, swirl, sing and scream
in our vague, whimsical life,
till we fall.

Our star, of feathered life, slept,
ever since ever, in wired, caged,
silvered walls.

On this epic day, first light still
pending, his beak still dry, his first
peek met – providentially to him,
alas to others – a door, wide open.

I can fly, I will be free! Of all
thoughts thought, none more
blessed.

Yet, fear, mounting, doubt,
insurmountable, without delay,
consumed his tender heart. Food, to
where, from where, and why?
Doubt is the killer of all dreams.

Yet, in this dawn of dawns, our
brittle hero, reasons unknown,
perhaps folly, perhaps not, beat and
beat, in frantic thrill, and flew away.

I decree, the secret of freedom is
courage.

The merchant is dead!
He is no more.
He’s dead.

But once, in time,
He was a young boy,
Guffawing on
Tethered rope swings.
Loved and loving,
Shy and silly.
His needs had not yet
Started to consume him.

He was a young lad,
A brash, hard-working lad,
At times, even flippant,
Yet passionate and caring,
When he met our fair Melissa.
His heart was instantly hers!
He adored her, nonetheless
Her heart was not free.
At such a tender age
He traded all for love,
For unrequited love, and
That was his falling.

He was a good husband, later,
When he married, another.
Fair and caring,
Plain and true.
He raised his children to
love and be loved, and
Worked till his body
Allowed him to.

He grew old,
As all and sundry seem to do.
All wrinkly and turned,
He had lived a straight life,
And had set his self free.
Yet, on his death bed,
As he closed his eyes
For the last time,
One breath to breathe,
He yearned for Melissa,
And smiling, died.

The merchant is dead!
He lived a life,
And died happily.

And now, Mary?
What do we do, Mary?
Where do I go, Mary?
Why now, Mary?
But why, Mary?

Come on, Mary.
It hurts, Mary.
Give us a chance, Mary.
Let’s make it work, Mary.
Oh, please, Mary!

And you, Mary?
What do you feel, Mary?
It’s someone else, Mary?
What do you think, Mary?
Where’s your love, Mary?

Okay!
It’s spent.
It’s over.
It’s not as it used to be.
This is too much!

Bye, Mary.

Hi, Jane.
Nice to meet you, Jane.
I love you, Jane!

I’ve known, all along, I speak
not to be heard.
I take myself to places, where I
forlorn, can guffaw.

I live alone, I breath alone,
I love alone, I dream alone.
Through my loneliness, I connect,
with all of you, with none of you.
I was born alone, I’ll die alone.

I have no remorse -
the Haast, too,
soars,
alone.

when i was young
i didn t believe in love
i didn t have to.
we would go on trips
all the family
every sunday
to a lake
to see swans
and eat cakes
and play games
we d played
countless times.

birthdays
were full
of lively children
devoted parents
and ungettable wishes.
i couldn t keep
all the presents
we d give them
to children
without parents.
all but three.

so it went
year by year
as we grew.
we didn t believe in love
we didn t have to.
we did all things together
we flew together
went to the shore
together.
fights were uncommon
they were meaningful.
everything was simple
and we were simple.

one time
there was a goldfish
in a bowl
that i fed
with tiny little pieces
of fish fodder.
life was true
and feral
our pockets full
of dreams
made of laughter.

then a man came
he took me away
he breached everything
he stole my innocence
with his lust
for all things
with his malice.
some fights we just
can t win.
his face was pale
his eyes were red.
don t listen to what
he says.
this man was me.

At the end of my day, looking out my window,
I reflect on the things I did, the friends I met, the thoughts I had.
I regret only what I regret, leaving out so much I could have lived but I didn't.
So many feelings conveniently ignored to make ground for a reflexive and inane life.
So many opportunities neglected and that remained invisible to me.
So much existence trimmed down or that passed by my side in silence –
I was too distracted with nothing and everything to reach out and snatch it and live it.

I’m happy nonetheless, for I realize that life is indeed a show of middling experiences
That arbitrarily builds up or into greatness or into commonness.
It’s the patchiness, the randomness of life that makes it wonderful and lovely.
It’s life untaken by contemplation that flows and grows into something special.
We think too much, for nothing!
Nature doesn’t need your help to follow its course.
You are and you will always be the greatest obstacle along your own path.
Bring down your guard and unwind your mind.
Try to be like the minute sparrow intuitively carrying a twig to its nest.
Let the wind blow, let the sun shine, let the grass grow.

I  believe in a world that I can see, unfiltered  by concepts,
That is touchable and is untainted by the mind.
To think is to destroy things – that’s the sole sake of thought!
I believe in a world that is solid, eatable, drinkable, and can be sensed by the skin.
I believe in a world that can be heard, and pushed, and slapped, and squeezed.
I believe in a world that is uncertain, but that is real.
Don’t come to me with your romantic and impractical ideas that are hazy and shapeless,
That require my gullible imagination, my complicity, and a speck of idiocy, to survive.
I want to stay authentic.  Please, let me stay ignorant and authentic!

My feelings are my thoughts (they are my only thoughts).
I have feelings as a flower has scent and colors.
I don’t want to think about the world.  I don’t want to understand it.
I want to be a part of it.  (To be we don’t need to think.)
I just want to love the world and accept it.  
I want to love it, but I don’t want to know why I love it, nor what it is I love.
I want to love it for love’s sake.
I want to love it with childlike innocence.
Love is always uncomplicated. Remember this,
Love is always uncomplicated.

Calmly, as the oak tree I see in my garden,
I pull back from my window sill and go back to  my life,
To my pointless life, my careless life, my foolish life,
So filled with simplicity, truth, and beauty.

simplest you is always
the most beautiful you.
so undress yourself
put your pride away.
release hate
it dilutes you
makes you smaller than you.

don t tell others who they should be
tell them you love them
just the way they are.
look straight at things
with the only eyes you ve got.
you will see
all is well
even when it s not.

plainness is full of wisdom
and full of happiness too.
so wherever you go
be you
simply you
it s the most beautiful you
you ve got.

my life
my mistakes
my past
my dreams
my illusions
my regrets
my loves
my sex
my joys
my I
my you
my forever
my now
my agonies
my freedoms
my strengths